I don’t fit in. Yep, that’s right. I don’t. I never did. I was always different. I was always the outcast–the quiet one–the one who didn’t have much to say. Yep, that was me and still is. Ask me if I care. Ask me if I ever really cared. Go on. Ask me.
Growing up, I walked to my own beat. I wanted friends but they didn’t want me. I wanted to fit in, but for some reason, I just didn’t. It mattered back then. It mattered most of my life. But I was different you see. There was something about my personality that people backed away from. Maybe it was my independence or my “I can take it or leave it” attitude. But whatever it was, I just didn’t fit in. And it hurt, a little. And I wanted to fit in, but no matter what I did, it didn’t work. I was an outcast. I was the black sheep. But you know what I found out about being the outcast or the black sheep? I stayed true to myself. I remained who I was, in spite of not being a part of the group. Yes, it hurt me, and there were times that I tried to fit in–changing my ways to please the crowd, but it never lasted simply because it wasn’t my real self. And so, I never did fit in. But let me tell you what ultimately became of not fitting in.
I’ve learned, the hard way, that walking to my own beat, and being my weird self, has made me “an example”. People look at me now and are drawn to my unique God-given personality. They are curious at how I can be so free, and they want to know all about how I can walk to my own beat. They admire my ability to dress differently, and they are whispering to each other “how does she do that?” I guess you can say that my uniqueness is now considered edgy and interesting, and therefore, I’m setting the trend. Conceited you think? Nah. Just honest. So did I mention that I’m a black sheep? Yep. I am. And I ain’t changing for anyone.
Look deep and be what you feel comfortable being. You don’t have to fit in to be happy. Most of the world’s greatest artists, muscians, writers and thinkers were considered black sheep. They were considered weird, and yes, people made fun of them and snickered behind their backs. Look at these famous people now. They’ve set the trends that most humans follow. Yep, these black sheep are now icons.
It’s okay to be different. In fact, if you are, you are trendsetters. You are wonderful, loving, specimens of spiritual self. Don’t change. Just be who you really are and then trust me on this . . . you will set the trend!
©valentine defrancis. all rights reserved
psychic MEDIUM, ENERGY HEALER, LOA COACH 
I do so agree, different is good, the’re too many lemmings out there, just following, no brains for themselves to think and do
Have I entered the twilight zone? lol Black sheep here*raising hand*
such fitting words for so many ppl…this can apply to every generation…simply timeless…thank you so much for sharing
kelli~
We seem to be so much alike LMAO
Great post!
I never fit in either growing up, I was the fat kid who no one liked and if they did talk to me then they were made fun of too. I love that as a mother, I was able to instill in my children that it isn’t the outside of a person that counts…it’s what is inside that matters!
Do I fit in today…not sure, but I know it is no longer important. I am a better ME than anyone else could ever be!
Hugs and blessings, Annette
Awesome read…….
I like that you are different than everyone else. You give great advice and are loved by many including me!!! Love you, ~Sherry
this is great, good for you and you would have been my friend…i had a wide variety of characters in my life I still do!
you are so creative with all your links!! i have come to love being a black sheep, out of the box, not your average, unique, different, not mediocre woman!!! keep being you..it’s awesome!
great post…..
Excellent as always Val!!
It’s so easy to lose “who we are” by trying to fit in with the crowd!!
Beautiful!! I love this! You are such an inspiration!!
BAA BAA Black Sheep, I am so glad I found you. I live my life exactly like you. Great post Goddess.
Namaste
a subject many can find something to say about…
Unable to read comments without hight ligiting script tpp small, and the blank field does not show up in the comment area.
I love your new place! I loved this!……………………I swear we lived the same childhood at school….we would have been friends=)I love you!
Cici
Loved the write! Creative minds arrive from the blackest feelings of not fitting in. Wonderful to read!
You know what? When we were kids, especially during those awkward pre-teen years, it mattered a LOT how others viewed us, especially by our peers. But somehow, we manage to grow in spite of what others perceive us to be, and we come into our own beings and self worth. And the older we get, the freer we are to just “be”! 🙂
It is af if you picked my brains and put my thoughts down on paper. Awesome job!
well now – as an artist I must respond as well as the ‘quirky one’ who was dropped into a family of normal beings. I love, love, love being the black sheep, I love being unusual, I love being talented and I just love me to death….great blog….barb
Being different is wonderful and I love it too!
I was the purple sheep. (Don’t ask lol) I pretended to be a regular sheep for many years, but as I grew older, that burden became too tiring, so….I just became who I really was all along. I embrace it now, and oddly enough, so do others. What a good good blog!
Be who you are and that’s all you are supposed to do!
HUGS
being comfortable with your self and who or what you are is very important no matter what age a person is. I wish I had known this when I was younger. maybe thats the key getting older we really and finally SEE ! thank you for this great write . I am going now and requesting you as my friend and hope you will me also. ~~~patricia
LOL,THIS WAS A TRUE STATEMENT MADE TO ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,ONE THAT I WAS NOT AWARE OF. I WAS TOL NO ONE LIKED ME BECAUSE I WAS TOO NICE, HUH! SO I GUESS I WAS A BLACK SHEEP AS WELL. I’VE NEVER CHANGED,SAW NO REASON TO CHANGE. I WAS JUST BEING ME. I JUST THINK THAT IF NO ONES LIKES ME IT’S THIER LOSS NOT MINE. GREAT BLOG VAL
Yes. Be a black sheep. Better to be a clean black sheep than a white sheep with the mud marks of trials showing brightly.
such a lovely piece and way of being – I never fit in either – wonder who actually does.
Most days I’m glad no one wants to sit with me – the talk that must go on across a dinner table ruins my spirit.
nice site!!!
crap i just typed a long comment and it did not take
i am so pissed
Great write Val!!!!!!!
Good write Val!
It worked great Val. I know axactly what you mean. I was always the odd man out and always left out even with people I thought were friends. I was quite and didn’t talk much and alot of people thought I was stuck up. I wasn’t just shy. I could be in a room full of people and feel all alone. I felt like I was always looking in but never really let in no matter how hard I tried.
Hope this site works well for you Val. Maybe there won’t be as many haters on here hasseling you. Hugs Vicki
i also grew up being the Black Sheep-to out spoking,i say it like it is,(no one likes that)to blunt with my words,,,don’t wanna know,then don’t ask me,
you are right,,,,
But Val, if we all take this advice won’t we just be a bunch of sheep following what you say to do? And even more disconcerting is that if we do this, we’ll all be unique – just like everyone else. I was just going my own way but now if I keep doing that, I’m only following what I’ve been told to do. I think you may have created a paradox. That’s good. I like things that make me think.
Loved it Val, another great write. I used to be some what of a black sheep also. Always trying to fit in with the “in” crowd. But now I am just me, and I love it, lol.
Love ya
Josie
Dang – you described me in some ways – i am NOT quiet lol – but i don’t fit in either.
I understand well where you are coming from…I myself march to the beat of my own drummer. Personally, I live my life as I see fit…what others think of me doesn’t bother me. When I was younger, I did try to fit in, but it caused me too much angst…finally realized it’s just not worth it to try to be someone else other than who I really am. As Gloria Gaynor once sang, “I am what I am, I don’t want praise, I don’t want pity….” .
I’ve never fit in either, Val. My own relatives didn’t like me. I always had “my self” and I was happy with my own company. I did, however at age 28, like a fool, start drinking to “fit in”. I was the life of the party, but I still enjoyed my books, music, writing and following Jesus more; my own company. My mother can never understand why I never get lonely. xoxox
I danced to the beat of a different drum too. Mom use to tell me what the neighbors thought and I would tell her as long as I know in my heart what I’m doing is right, I don’t care what they think. I am the one who has to answer for me when it’s my time to confront my maker.
So Familiar and So True!!! Love those who march to a different beat, been doing all my life. Funny how as you get older you find other’s intrigued by your uniqeness when before you were “the black sheep”. Excellent write yet again!!!
Yep I can so relate to this val ! I to am a Black Sheep always have been and always will be. I really just don’t care if I fit in and haven’t for a very long time. Im Kim and I am Me. excellent write
Great blog…reminds me of my oldest daughter’s favorite quote “Imitation is suicide”. She found this quote around the age of 12 and loved it and wrote it on everything from yearbooks to cards to friends, including putting it is her high school graduation speech….turns out that even though she was different, she was also able to make that a positive and become a leader and example.
MGA~
((hugs))
I hear you. Thank you for coming by and doing this. Hugs
Thank you Kim…
see i wrote a blog about this subject
i tried to fit in so hard, and yet i never did
so i finally gave up and asked GOD
GOD WHY am I so different
and Unbleivable he actually answered me
JOE you are different and unique because i made you that way
be glad you are like no one else
thanks God i wish i would have asked you sooner
yes i had to live my whole life knowing i was eccentric, insane, crazy, wild, outrageous and you know something i still am
great blog as usual val, love it came back after i cooled down
well, it took me 50 years to feel comfortable in my own skin, and it is liberating
Just as a black sheep stands out in a flock of white sheep so does the person who has the courage to just be themselves.
Hi Joe, I’m glad you came back and that you cooled down. You’re a beautiful soul.
Cuthbert waz here… 09-05-08
You May be or are a great inspiration many people who are in the same boat. It does not matter what the water is doing you are riding the waves of calmness because you are you..
I am proud to say that in some respects I have had that problem.I say proud because usually I do not just go with the flow.. I do the best I can in the ego driven world I work in. I work in the Film Industry. And I am not one to have a new fad for work, or just give things away.. because I am a business.
Thank you Valentine, For being a fellow Black sheep.. I plan on learning from you…
Sargebob@yahoo.com
So true! This is a reminder to value each others’ differences, and thank God that we are all created unique and special.
It worked for me this time…..I am the black sheep also….I don’t mind though because I like who I am.
((( hugs )))
Teresa
this truly touched me.i have always been the black sheep.thanks val for posting this
wonderful post…
agree with many of your points.
Peace
Tima
Hi my friend–this was great–I am the Black Sheep in my family–loved this blog–hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wow, this clears up a couple of things:
1- Why I love you so (we are soooo alike);
2– why I don’t care anymore about being “like the others” as I truly stand out (alone) here at work, not sophisticated enough! (ha ha, joke is on them) they all the same, ALL BUT ME, I used to hate it, now I enjoy!
This is yet ANOTHER wonder write, thank you for reposting,, You did a wonderful job!
I’ve always be considered a ‘black sheep’ and non-conformist.
It took me years to finally accept those words as a compliment.
As always, a fantastic, inspiring blog, Val.
Much love,
Nancy
I do know what it is like to be the black sheep, for so many reasons; I have always been different from the so called “Norm” I believe it was Cherokee Woman who said that she was not liked for being too nice, I was once told that I could kill people with my kindness, and I was too nice. Well, I don’t really know how true that is for me, because I have been known to have quite a temper, but it takes a lot to get me mad. I enjoyed your blog Val, and glad to know there are other “black sheeps” out there. ((Take Care))
Christ didn’t fit in either while He was down here on earth…
… so I think you’re in pretty awesome company ma’am!
Hugs and chocolates Mizz Asha!
MUAH!
GOSH!!! I NEVER KNEW THAT I WAS DIFFERENT…LOL. EVERYONE HAS THERE DIFFERENTS AND I BELIEVED THATS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE…SO I REALLY DIDN’T CARE WHAT ANYONE WANTED TO BE IN LIFE…JUST BE KIND AND FRIENDLY AND I WAS EVERYONE’S FREIND WEAHTER THEY LIKED ME OR NOT…I’AM GOING TO SHOW THEM KINDNESS WEATHER THEY LIKED IT OR NOT…AND IF THEY DIDN’T LIKE IT I SHOW THEM DIFFERENT!!! SILLY ME, THATS WHY I’AM CRAZY…WHEN I DIE ON MY TOMSTONE WILL HAVE SHE WAS ONE CRAZY LADY. BUT WE LOVED HER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN WHO SHE WAS….I LOVE TO BE DIFFERENT.
GREAT WRITE MY FRIEND, VAL!
LOTS A HUGS FOR U….RJL & MISS MOLLY
Hey Val. Sometimes people get so caught up in fitting in that they hold back what makes them who they are. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. It just takes us time to figure that out. 😀
Hi Val!
Ya know, it has taken me ’til my mid-40s and being a mom of my own to figure out that it is OK to be the odd one. All my life I have struggled to fit in, but haven’t. After many life experiences and special people in my life telling me that I have a unique and beautiful gift… I finally am realizing the just MAYBE…yes…I CAN let myself be ME.
I am the different mom…the one the neighborhoods kids flock to and our children bring home their friends to….the old fashioned, strict, and concerned mom, but also the all out embarrassing and nutty one at times too! But that is me….and I am learning to embrace it.
I hope I have given my children the courage to step out on their own and be who they are…not a carbon copy of someone else. Thanks for letting us be a part of this wonderful group, Val. I am proud to be a member!