Mustard vs. Mayo

I love mustard. I’ll put it on anything. The tangy, twang that makes my face perspire simply cannot be matched by any other condiment–not even mayo. Now I’m not saying that mayo isn’t good stuff, it is. I’m just saying that I rather have mustard on all my sandwiches. Is that a crime? Well, it seems to be around this neck of the woods. Where I come from, mayo rules. The people I know put mayo on everything–from scrambled eggs to steak sandwiches. I mean, really. That’s just gross. The heat from cooked eggs makes mayo a runny and nasty mess.

I had a male friend who put mayo on oatmeal. Can you imagine? Okay. So what’s with me talking about mayo and mustard today? There was a big thing around my house last night about which is better. I know. We’re pretty pathetic, right? But you see, the boyfriend was making a late night snack, and he put heaping spoonfuls of mayo on his sandwich. I was completely grossed out and told him so. But did he care? Nooo. He looked me right in my face as he gleefully took a monster bite of his sandwich and then laughed when the mayo squirted out from his bread and landed all over the table. AND it was all over his mouth. I don’t have to tell you what it looked like. And he knew it bothered me so he began chewing with his mouth open, displaying the most grotesque mess one could witness.

Gosh, I have so much writing to do, but I couldn’t let this go without an honorable mention–kind of like when I keep talking about nose pickers . . . Oops. Did I mention that again??


To Tweet or not to Tweet

Testing. Is this thing on?

Okay guys, I need you to please hear me out. I know Twitter started out as a hot commodity. It was just so groovy to post my thoughts and my whereabouts all week long. But can I tell you something? I don’t have the head to keep posting my thoughts and my whereabouts. It’s not that I don’t want you guys to know my whereabouts. It’s just that, well . . . do you really give a rat’s ass what I’m doing all day long? Does anyone really care about my bad hair day or that I’m meeting my gay friends for drinks? Or that I got my stiletto heal stuck in the metal groove on the escalator in the Menlo Park Mall? I don’t think so.
Why are we telling the world what we’re doing and who we’re with and what we want to aspire to when we grow up? I mean, really guys. Who has the time? But here’s what gets me.
We complain that the government knows too much of our business. We worry over identity theft. We’re afraid of being stalked. Hello? If you keep Twittering all day long, you can pretty much bet that your life is out there for the whole wide world to see.

Okay. I feel better. I just had to get this off my chest. Maybe I should have Tweeted this. Hmmm, not such a bad idea. Heck. What’s one more Tweet for the road?

Valentine deFrancis on Twitter

Laughing your ass off raises your vibration

picture property of Nasa

Okay, so this is going to be a little long. But trust me. It’ll be worth it.

It’s been a while since we chatted, but I’ve been so busy writing my new novel that I just didn’t have the time to come around. And we all know that I can’t bang out quality work if I’m blogging. Or talking. Or chewing gum. Not me. I have to isolate myself until I’m done. And now that I’m done and searching for an agent, I’ve resumed my studies on the subconscious mind and metaphysics, and fine-tuned it to include the laws of attraction, the laws of energy forces, the power of positive thinking, and of course, praying and its correlation to reprogramming the subconscious. Oh, and let’s not forget tapping and doing the healing codes.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, what the heck is Val talking about? I realize that I’ve just mentioned quite a few things, but they’re extremely important things that will help you better your lives and elevate your consciousness to achieve any goal or desire that you have.

Taking this a step further—the reason I’m writing this is to clarify the term “raising your vibration”.

If you’ve been studying the law of attraction, and if you’ve been reading all the books written about it, and if you’ve been buying every audio and attending every seminar concerning it, and you still don’t understand what it means to raise your vibration in order to attract your desires, then you’ve come to the right place. I’m going to explain what the gurus didn’t. I’m going to break it down in simple terms using simple examples, and when I’m done, you’re going to say, damn, is that what it is?

Okay, so here we go. In terms that all humans can understand: to raise your vibration simply means getting in a better mood. Now you may be thinking that it’s not easy to get into a better mood. And you may be wondering what does getting in a better mood have to do with raising your vibration? And you may even be wondering, what the heck is a vibration? So I’m going to explain it in basic rudimentary terms and when I’m done, trust me, you will understand this.

So, scientists have confirmed that the universe is made of energy. This includes everything from our thoughts, to rocks, vegetation, plant life, water, the animal kingdom, and our physical bodies. After the studies were considered absolute, it was then discovered that each element of existence vibrates. Yes, vibrates. Energy not only swirls, it vibrates. And it vibrates on different levels. And science has proven that energy will attract and be drawn to other energy that vibrates on its same level. Here’s an analogy. A dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. When the whistle is blown, it vibrates between 23 and 54 Hz, too high for humans to hear. It’s out of our vibration frequency, but not for a dog, whose frequency is in tune with the frequency of the whistle.

Taking it a little further. Again, this is just an example. A magnate will attract particles that vibrate at its level; such as particles that are equal in composition and vibration. Now I know that I’m simplifying this, but it’s to get my point across. It’s weird to think of life as nothing more than a series of vibrations, but this is what it actually boils down to. If you can wrap your mind around the possibility that all of life literally vibrates, and that the vibration of energy will attract its equivalent, then you’ll get this.

Under high powered microscopes, we can see atoms vibrating; and since everything in the universe is made of atoms, everything vibrates. Why things vibrate at different levels is another story for another time. For now, let’s just stick with the fact that all of life vibrates.

If energy vibrates and attracts situations, events, and people that vibrate on its level, then the question to ask is: how can we tell what our energy vibration level is? We want to know this answer because if we’re vibrating at a low level, we’re attracting things that are matching our vibration equivalent. And I’m referring to people and situations. How can we tell what we’re attracting? Simple. Just look around you. Just look at your home life, your work life, your love life, and your finances. Most people think that life is just a series of random circumstances in which they have no control, but it’s not. There aren’t any random situations. There are no coincidences. There’s nothing that happens by chance. Everything is drawn to us through our thoughts and beliefs, which attract situations and people who are vibrating at our level of thinking. So it’s like this: Let’s say you’re in a bad mood, for whatever reason. You’re thinking miserable thoughts. You hate the world. You hate yourself. You hate your job. Life sucks. Right here in this example, you’re vibrating at a low level. Studies have shown that when you’re negative, the vibration is extremely low; therefore, you’re going to attract other negative people and situations and health issues that resonate with your energy vibration. . . even things such as car accidents. How? If you’re in your car and you’re in a bad mood, your vibration is extremely low and it’s attracting other people who are in a bad mood or who are matching your vibration. Two people in a bad mood, driving down the road, can produce an accident—without a doubt. Are you with me? You are energy, and as energy, you vibrate, and when you vibrate, the universal law of physics states that you will attract any energy matching your vibration level—good or bad. So how do we fix this? How do we raise our vibration? You’re going to shake your head when you hear this. Again—the books don’t break it down like this. The gurus omit these simple details because they want to make money. But I want to help. And when I get a revelation like this, I’m going to share it. So here we go.

The gurus say that to raise your vibration, you must meditate, do visualization exercises, or listen to stimulating music. But, if you’re in a bad mood, how do you sit down and try to get in a good mood? If you’re in a bad mood, how do you visualize being in a good mood? You can’t. Your vibration is too low. It will take too much effort and the result will be frustration. But there is something that you can do, that you’ve been doing, that will absolutely get you mentally “there”. If you want to get your vibration up, just get in a better mood. How? Listen closely. What I’m going to tell you works. I’ve done it and have beaten agoraphobia by doing it. I’ll start by giving you examples.

Let’s say that you had a date and the date went well. You really like this person and can’t wait for them to call for a second date. Every day, you wait to get this call. By the end of the week, you’re miserable. The person hasn’t called you. You’re pouting. You’re nasty to everyone. You hate the world. Basically, you’re in a bad mood. Then, out of nowhere, the phone rings and it’s him. Suddenly, like magic, you’re on top of the world. All your misery has magically disappeared, as if someone flipped a switch in your brain. To make you see a clearer picture: your sudden happy mood has instantaneously raised your vibration to a higher level, and when it’s at a higher level and stays at that level, you’ll begin to attract things that are your vibrational match. You’ll draw good things to you such as raises or promotions or you’ll make more friends or get more dates. Life suddenly seems so great, doesn’t it? All from one little phone call.
If one phone call can get you in a great mood and raise your vibration level, that means that you can do it all on your own. How? Keep reading. I’m going to give you another example so that you will completely understand where I’m going with this.

Let’s say you wake up in a bad mood. Let’s say the night before you broke up with your boyfriend or had a big fight with a friend or got hit with a big bill that needs to be paid. Whatever your reason, you’re in a really bad mood. Now, you go to work. You’re quiet. You’re nasty. You’re barking at co-workers. Then, someone enters the room and they trip and fall. Everyone around you starts to giggle. And deep in your gut it was truly funny to see this person trip and fall. You have to admit that you want to laugh. And you finally tell yourself that you’re going to laugh, despite being mad at life. And then you begin to laugh. And when you do, you’re laughing and enjoying, and your brain is doing its thing; the neurotransmitter, dopamine, is being released and good stuff begins to happen. Soon, after the laughter dies down, you find that you still have a smile on your face and now you’re mood isn’t so sullen. You feel a little better, and suddenly your problems seem small. You can handle things. Has this ever happened to you? I know it has. Here’s what happens when we laugh. Endorphins are released, which put us in a calm state of mind. Laughter is the way to raise your vibration. If you can find ways to laugh, you’re going to always raise your vibration. The more you laugh at life, the happier you are. The happier you are, the higher your vibration. The higher your vibration, the more you attract good things, and so on. It’s the only way to raise your vibration. Once you understand this and deliberately set out to get happy, you’re on your way. You can then do those visual manifestation exercises that the gurus mention. But by then, you won’t have to.

When you’re in a seriously bad mood, turn on a comedy show. Tell a friend to tell you some jokes. Try to rehash some funny incident. Before long, you’ll be laughing, and once that starts, you’ll be raising your vibration level. Check out David Hawkins, if you want to learn more about vibration levels.

You can do this. It’s not a secret. Don’t let anyone sell you a line of bs. You were made with all the right stuff. You only needed someone to point it out to you.

This is a MUST, if you want to get your health back

Forgiving isn’t easy. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest things to do. When someone has lashed out at us, or betrayed us, we get this anger that rushes through our bodies and into our heads, and the first thing we think is that we’ll never talk to that person again. Isn’t that the truth? So we harbor this resentment, and keep our anger towards this person in the forefront of our minds; after all, we have the right to be pissed at this person, and we have every right to show it. Don’t we? How dare they betray us! How dare they say those horrible things! We’re going to stay mad at them, and we’re not giving in. And we’re going to tell everyone we know about what this person had done to us and how they’ve ruined our lives. And we’re going to let it fester, and bubble, and grow, until it’s the biggest event since the birth of Jesus. AND WE WON’T CAVE! WE HAVE OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO STAY PISSED.
I know that anyone reading this has been there and done that. So here’s the deal. I’m going to break this down and hopefully dissect this so that you can understand why forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself. Yes, for you–not for the person who has hurt you.

I always thought that forgiving someone would let the other person off the hook–that the person would think that whatever they had done was no big deal and that they had gotten away with hurting me. And this was my belief for most of my life. And when someone hurt me, I kept that anger alive and held onto it for years. But several years ago, when my connection to the other side was made, I was shown the truth about what happens to our minds, bodies, and to our lives when we don’t forgive.
Anger serves a purpose. It tells us that we’re off track with who we are. It tells us that someone invaded our right to be right. It tells us that someone humiliated us–disregarded our feelings–without caring. But why do we get so angry? Cheating, abandonment, and betrayals are big offenses towards the ego. When it happens to us, we’re crushed. And we’re supposed to feel the anger. Our anger was given to us as a guide. We’re supposed to acknowledge it, question why we’re so offended and hurt, and then let it go. But why?

Anger means that someone stepped into our egotistical space and challenged us. If you’ve studied the ego, you’ll learn that our ego wants to play the role of God, here on earth. It believes that it has full control. But it’s a facade. Ego is a defense mechanism, and according to the way we were raised and according to our core beliefs, the ego’s job is to protect our beliefs—regardless if our beliefs are on or off the actual truth. So when someone invades our ego’s space and does something that we have no control over, we torment ourselves because we can’t believe that we weren’t clever enough or intelligent enough to catch-on to the betrayal. We can’t get over the idea that another person would think that we weren’t good enough. But here’s the catch. Now listen very carefully. When someone does something to hurt you, it’s not you who they are attacking. It’s not about you–ever. They are thinking of themselves and what’s good for them. It’s their ego that is feeling crushed or bruised, and so, they will do whatever they have to do to repair it; and nine times out of ten that means seeking immediate gratification to boost the way they feel, regardless of who they’re hurting. It’s not about you. It’s never about you. It’s always about the other person. So it’s like a chain reaction. Each human is out for themselves. Yes! It’s a fact. No matter how you slice and dice it, the bottom line is that each human puts their needs first. They have to. It’s the way the physical world was created.

Now, when we don’t forgive, it affect our bodies and our minds. It causes mental and physical ailments. It’s been proven. Anger causes heart attacks, cancers, back aches, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and the list is endless. So listen. If you understand what anger does to you, why keep it? You want to feel good every day of your life. You want to be happy and healthy. You want to live your one life the way it was meant to live. You come first in the eye of God. It’s your God-given birth right to create a spectacular life for yourself by learning about who you are and how you can pick and choose what’s best for you. Listen up. You can choose to not let someone’s betrayal affect you. It’s a choice. And it’s a great thing to be able to choose to let it go or not let it go. By letting it go, and understanding that people are people doing whatever they have to do to get through the day, then you’ll understand that it’s never about you. It’s always about them. And if you really think about it, even you do what you have to do–every single time. You may think that you’re being unselfish by putting someone’s needs first, but deep down, you’re putting someone’s needs first because you want them to like you. This is deep. This is huge. This is worth learning and accepting. When you learn about who you are and why you are and why you’re here, you can learn to forgive. Let the anger go. It’s never really about you. It may seem that it is, but it’s the other person’s insecurities than drive them to do what they do. You were just in the way of the bullet. Let it go. Look to God and He’ll show you the way. I swear this to you. Dissect your anger and learn the reason why you’re really mad and then ask God to help you. Do it for you, because you come first, and because you’re worth it.

Read Master of the Realm if you want to read a story of hurts and betrayals. If I can forgive, you can forgive.

Valentine deFrancis doesn’t lie

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, I’m a writer. I am, damn it. No seriously, I am. Annnnd, I’ll be one of the featured authors sponsored by the Barnes and Noble outdoor event this Saturday, September, 12th at Westerleigh Park in Staten Island, New York.
I’ll be promoting my book, Master of the Realm; my true story of how I overcame agoraphobia with the help of the spirit world . . . YES, SPIRITS AND GHOSTS, people. What? You don’t believe? Afraid to believe? If you read my book, you’ll understand that they’re around you, whether you believe it or not.

Anyway, if you’re reading this and you live in the area, come on by. Admission is free. Would love to meet you. If it rains, it will be held the next day, Sunday, September 13th.

You see? I told you I was a writer. Gosh, Vallie doesn’t lie.


Fridays and Why Do Straight Chicks Act Gay

Somebody wake me, please! With the world in total chaos and our economy in a mess, wouldn’t it make sense if we, as a nation, would stop and take stock at what is happening to our society? Let’s be honest. This society is out of control. It lacks morals and integrity. We’ve become a nation gone wild. Look at our young adults. Okay. Now this might get me a verbal ass whoopin’, but here I go. Since when did it become the norm for girls to act gay? Somebody tell me, please? There appears to be an epidemic of teenaged girls and young women who feel the need to kiss and feel each other up in clubs, parties, Spring break–any place where there is a camera. When did this become acceptable? Did I fall asleep in a field of poppies for a hundred years and miss a revolution or something? Seriously. If you’re gay, then you’re gay. Period. Who cares? But why pretend to be gay? Does it make you cool? Do you attract more guys by acting like lesbians? When did it become chic for young women to act like horney gay chicks in public?

Girls and ladies? A piece of advice. Be who you are, and stop trying to fit in. What I respect about all gays is that they are who they are. They aren’t pretending to BE what they aren’t. They stand tall, and they act proud. So all you straight chicks . . . if you want to follow the gays then follow their integrity and values. Don’t pretend to be what you’re not in order to get attention or to attract guys. Take pride. If you really need that much attention then grab an accordian, one monkey wearing a hat, and stroll up and down Broadway.

All righty then. Moving on. Telemarketers . . . good heavens, give me a break. Will ya? Has this happened to you? You get a call asking if you would like to subscribe to your local paper. You tell them that you are a subscriber. They tell you that they appreciate your business and then hang up. The next day, you receive another call from a telemarketer asking if you would like to subscribe to your local paper. You tell them in a nice way that you are a subscriber, and that someone called the day before, and would they please take your name off their mailing list. The following day, you get another call asking if you would like to subscribe to your local paper, and now you are about to explode! What the heck is wrong with these people? Listen up telemarketers. The next time you call, I’m going to talk in a thick Hindu accent and make you believe that you have dialed Citi Corp. So there! Which leads me to my next gripe. What is up with people leaving their dog poop in the street?

I don’t know about where you live, but here in New York, picking up after your dog is a law. So here I was, out for my morning speed walk, when I spotted this lady walking her Pug. The Pug was doing his thing right at the edge of the curb, unaware that he was committing a crime. The owner, who obviously isn’t smarter than the Pug or a fifth-grader, left the doodoo where it was. I was pissed. I was really pissed. Did I mention that I was pissed? What kind of person leaves their dog’s mess on a city street, knowing that it’s against the law and that someone will likely step in it? I tell ya, this world has gone to the dogs, damn it. And speaking of poop, here’s another little diddy that makes me squint . . . infomercials.

You know when you watch an infomercial and they say at the end, “Order yours now and we’ll double your order for the same price”? I’d like to know how they can afford to do that? For only 4 easy payments of $49.99, you can have two Magic Bullets, but you have to act fast. YOU HAVE TO CALL NOW. Holy torpedo! Two Magic Bullets for only 4 easy payments of $49.99? I better hurry and call before I lose out on that great offer. Geeze.

So remember. Your day can go a lot smoother if you . . .

1– Learn to speak Hindu
2– If you wear rubbers over your shoes
3– If you order a Magic Bullet right now!

Oh, and here is a great read and a good holiday gift ( shameless self promotion )

Master of the Realm. If you never believed in life after death, this just might change your mind.

Okay. That’s a wrap. Wake me when this is all over.

To order, just go to any major online store or Barnesandnoble or Amazon or Authorhouse my publisher or Valentinedefrancis

Fridays blogs and Christmas ?

I’m sitting here in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, sweating my bunns off. It’s almost 65 degrees here in Staten Island, New York, and I’m thinking this is so weird. Outside, my neighbors’ homes are fully adorned in Christmas lights and Santas. I mean really! It was only Halloween one week ago. Aren’t we skipping a holiday somewhere–like T h a n k s g i v i n g? Helloooo? We are going way too fast, folks! I am not ready for Christmas, people. I am not even ready for Thanksgiving. Heck, I’m still recovering from Labor Day. Is there a reason why we are rushing into all of this? Is Christmas going to disintergrate into space, never to be celebrated again?
I don’t want to think about Christmas in the beginning of November, and I don’t want to hum Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and I don’t want to deal with going into the mall to conquer crowds of moms toting their screaming kids. I don’t want to! Does that make me a scrooge? Can’t a girl bask in the warm weather and ponder the days of summer, just for a little while?

Okay. So I used to own an Acura. I loved that car. It was luxurious, smooth, but most of all, soundproof. Acura makes a nice car, but alas, after ten years it went bye-bye, and I had to get a new car. Taking into consideration that I don’t have a garage to store an expensive luxury car, and taking into consideration that a luxury car gets less miles to the gallon, I decided that for my money, I would get a car that gets great gas mileage and one that I wouldn’t have to worry about–so I got a 2009 Toyota Corolla.
This little car has just about every feature that a fancy-smancy car has, except for one minor detail. Well, it’s not exactly a minor detail. OK! It’s a big detail. It’s made like doodoo. Don’t take this wrong. It’s a great car to drive. It drives fantastically, gets 34.5 miles to the gallon, has all the cool features of an expensive car, but it’s made of plastic–from bumper to bumper. What this means is that you kind of hear more shakin’, rattlin’, and rollin’ then you would normally hear in your leading luxury car. Which leads me to this little diddy.

*deep breath*  Yesterday, I was out driving, and I kept hearing a little thumping on the right side. It was driving me nuts, so in the rain, I took every single thing, including my jack, out of the trunk. The noise was still there. From there, I opened the hood and checked to make sure that the engine hadn’t fallen out–and it didn’t. My only choice was to go to the dealer, so I called.

“Come on down, we can take you right now,” the service writer says.

“Cool,” I say back, and I go.

Thirty minutes later, I pull into the service department, and they give me a ticket. “The service writer will be with you in a minute,” the guys says.

“Cool,” I say.

Ten minutes later, I hear, “G165,” being called out. I look at my ticket and yell, “Bingo!”

The writer smiles. “I get that every time,” he boasts.

So I walk into his office and sit down, and explain to him what I am hearing. He writes me up and gives the repair order to the next mechanic, who 15 minutes later comes over to me and says, “I don’t hear a thing. Take a ride with me.”

We get into the car and drive up and down quiet streets. I have my head cocked to the extreme right of the passenger side, saying “There it is again. You hear it, you hear it?”

He gives me a shifty glare. “No, I can’t hear it,” he says.

Finally, after driving around for ten minutes, we go back to the dealership, where he tells me that if it gets worse to come back. Ah, hello?

I proceed to the cashier where I am handed a bill which says $94.00 for labor. At the bottom it says $0.00. Of course, I don’t have to pay for anything as the car is only two months old, but I questioned the labor charge. After all, I found it to be more than expensive, especially since the mechanic only had the car for under a half an hour. The cashier cracks her gum and giggles, and then says, “I don’t know. I only work here.”
I turned my head and rolled my eyes, thinking . . . of course you do.

So my lovelies, I am giving all of you some advice. Don’t rush time, take a deep pause before you react, and get a really good headset that blocks out noise.

Oh, and check out these really good blogs. Blamin’ Palin by Fox News and this weeks Margaret and Helen’s blowing off steam

Seeya next time.