You attract what you feel—not what you think.

If someone asks how you’re doing, and you tell them you’re doing great, but you’re really feeling like crap, you will attract the vibration of how you’re truly feeling–not what you’re telling others.

Every single increment of your life is based on feelings. When we wake, we gauge our day by how we feel. Do we feel happy or depressed. Stressed or angry? Sad or blah? Our relationships are based on how we feel as well. Do they make us sad, glad, or mad? Our jobs? Are we feeling happy about going to work, or resentful? Every single thing we do produces a feeling, and it’s this feeling that attracts events that are vibrationally equal to it. There isn’t a moment in our lives where we don’t gauge our feelings. And this is what the law of attraction is all about. It is based on how we feel.

Choosing to think positively is the first step in changing how you feel. In time, you can shift your negative ideas and thoughts into positive ideas and thoughts which in turn, will begin to shift your beliefs. When you shift your beliefs, you begin to feel differently about the beliefs you’ve changed. It’s a process; however, it’s the way the physical plane operates.

We attract all situations and events based on how we’re feeling at any given moment. If we continually focus on how we feel over a particular topic, we will attract more of that topic–be it good or bad.

Take a day and examine how you feel. Go to work and examine how you feel about the commute, the people, the office. Go to the store and examine how you feel about the checkout clerk, the store itself, the people around you. Do the same for your family and your love life. Think about it. Every single thing you do is based on how that thing makes you feel. There is no escaping this. From the time we open our eyes till the time we close them at night, we base our moments by how we are feeling.
Remember: we are beings who are governed by feelings, and we operate by thought. If we tell ourselves all day long that we feel like crap or that we hate our jobs, we’ll develop feelings of non-wellness and will attract a situation based on that low vibration.

If you understand that we are dominated by pure feeling, the law of attraction will be easier to understand and use.


Your emphasis is on moving up. You don’t understand how you can achieve this when you’re caught in what seems like a no-win situation. Please take 15 minutes, three times a day, to calm your mind, giving it instruction to focus on the Creator, who gives all, and not on how your feats will be achieved.
When you continually ask how something will be achieved, you are blocking that thing from coming to you.

All your money, all your love, your health, and your relationships come from within, not from someone outside. If you understand that only God, the creator, can arrange for all your comforts to come to you, you will let go of the idea that you must bow to others to get what you want

#Ineedmoney #Angel message

You’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Money is your main focus and it’s there, waiting for you to allow it in. You have the ideas, now you have to take action. Your fear of not being qualified enough is just that… a fear. It holds no value other than to keep you from taking that first step.

Money is waiting. Blow up the wall and walk through it confidently.

#Angelmessage #Moving-on

Angel message July 17, 2014

You keep giving someone the benefit of the doubt, hoping that you’re wrong about them. It’s time to let them go and for you to move on. There’s a fine line between loving someone and obsessing.
The only person to love is you. When you understand that, you’ll attract the perfect mate or relationship

#Angels #Miracles

Angel message for July 16, 2014

A situation is unavoidable. You envision the worst; however, you must step through it because it must happen. If you think it through, you will realize that if it works in your favor, it was meant to be. If it doesn’t work in your favor, something bigger and better is meant to come along in its proper time.
Don’t allow the fear of “what if” to keep you from moving forward. Move. It’s what you’re supposed to do.

The Law Of Attraction is Based on Your Deepest Feelings

Angel message for July 11, 2014

Your deepest feelings will manifest. You must stop in your tracks to ask what these feelings are, before they do manifiest. Are you feeling hatred, anger, resentment, or jealousy toward a situation? Remember, these are MAJOR FEELINGS. If you are feeling these feelings, do what you can to catch them and then ask yourself why you are feeling them.
The law of attraction is based on your truest emotions and will bring you more situations to match those emotions.

Remember this, and learn about who you are. YOUR TRUEST FEELINGS—NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE—WILL MANIFEST VERY QUICKLY. Catch them, and change your feelings, so that you will manifest what you truly want instead of what your ego is lashing out at.

We are always here. Look inside yourself and you’ll find us.

How Does A Person Get Faith?


Outside the church, the air was brisk and salty. I pulled my heavy sweater closer to my chest and looked up at the sky for an answer.
Darcy was next to me checking her cell phone. After noticing that she didn’t have any messages, she closed it and turned to me.
“Listen, Val. I understand what you mean about belief, but I don’t have any belief. I can’t just pull it out of the thin air.”
I let out a sarcastic huff and nodded. “You’re preaching to the choir, Darcy. I know what you mean. Developing belief is about knowing who you are and what you’re capable of doing. It’s like faith, you know, it’s like belief.”
“Faith?” she quipped. “No, I don’t think faith is the same as belief.”
I let out a deep breath and looked to the sky for the best way to explain this. “Well,” I said, choosing my words carefully, “I know that the masters would argue that belief and faith are separate paradigms, but I’d argue that they’re one and the same.”
“How?” she said, looking at me curiously. “Explain how belief and faith are the same?”
I turned away from the front of the church and looked across the parking lot at the Atlantic Ocean. “Let’s go over to the water. I want to show you something.”
As we got up to the entrance of the beach, I said, “Do you see the beach?” I pointed across the dramatic expanse.
She gave me a curious smirk. “Of course, I see it,” she said.
“When you’re away from the beach, do you know that it still exists?”
She nodded. “Yes, of course, I do.”
“So, then, by the fact that you’ve seen the beach many times in your life, you have a firm belief that it exists, correct?”
Again, she nodded. “Yeah, I know without a shred of doubt.”
“If I ask you, ‘Would the ocean be here tomorrow?’ what would you say?”
She looked out into the sea and said, “Yes, of course it would.”
“And how do you know that?” I asked.
She gave a non-committing shrug. “Because I know. I’ve seen it hundreds of times, and I know it exists.”
“So, then, not only do you believe it, you know it, and you trust that it will be there. And you know it will be there tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that. You have faith that it will, right?”
Again, she looked at me as though I was giving her a trick question and nodded. “Ah, I see where you’re going with this. To answer you, yes, I do have faith. I have belief. Are you saying they are interchangeable?”
“Yep, that’s what I’m saying. The Bible’s definition of faith goes something like this, ‘Faith is the evidence of that which is not seen’. But, what I’m saying is in order to have faith, belief must be established prior to it. When you were growing up, you probably had it pounded into your head that God exists. You never saw God, but because it was pounded into your head, you came to believe in Him, even though you’ve never experienced Him firsthand. So when something good happens, you and your parents say, ‘Praise God’ for the miracle. The miracle then becomes the evidence or the product of that which you couldn’t see. And you say that you have faith.
“You were brainwashed into believing in something that you’ve never seen or felt. You can call it faith or you can call it a belief. For me, it’s all about knowing. And you can’t truly believe if you don’t know. You have seen the ocean. And by seeing it, you believe it’s there. And you have trust that it will be there tomorrow, even though you probably won’t see it tomorrow. So you could say that you have belief or faith that the ocean will be here tomorrow, right? Aren’t they then interchangeable?”
“Yes, they are. You make a really good point.”
“Look, Darcy. For me, belief is something that can change. One day you can believe in the goodness of people but that could change if someone hurts you. You could also believe in God until something goes wrong and He doesn’t come through for you, like what happened to me. As you grow and experience life’s lessons, what doesn’t suit you will be eliminated from your belief system. And that is perfectly fine. Belief is established when you want something to happen and it happens. And if you put your faith in a person who you’ve trusted and whom you know you can count on, aren’t you really saying that you believe without a doubt that that person will always be there for you, even if you don’t always see proof of them being around?
“So, then, what’s the difference between the two? When you have faith, you believe in something; when you believe, you have faith in it. My question is how does a person have a true belief in anything if they haven’t established witnessing the first cause? Unshakeable belief is established after you’ve witnessed the first cause. Faith and belief stem from the first experience of that in question.”
“Gosh, Val, you’re right. I never thought of it like that. You really gave me something to think about. There isn’t any difference.”
“Well, there isn’t, but when someone comes along and tells you to put your faith in that which you have never seen, how do you do that?”
She threw her hands in the air and bobbed her head. “Thank you! That’s what I’m trying to say. How can I believe in something that I’ve never seen or heard?”
I smiled and said, “You don’t, not at this stage of your life, not without investigating it.”
“And how do you do that?” she said, once again throwing her arms over her head in total frustration.
“By asking God to show you, that’s how.”
“Okay, you have to back up a minute. Explain this to me.”
Through an exasperated breath I said, “Darcy, listen. Before I made my connection, I didn’t believe in anything—not spirits, not ghosts, and not even God. Then I had a very desperate moment, and I begged for proof. I begged for something to believe in. Because let’s face it—many humans say they have belief—they say they have faith, but deep down, they don’t. Right?”
“Well, I always believed in God,” she said.
“Oh really? Why? Because you went to Catholic school and your parents believed in God? Because you had it drilled into your head from the time you were old enough to speak? Because you were brainwashed into having the faith that something existed without seeing it? Then throughout your life when you called on that which you had never seen, and it didn’t answer you, it rattled your faith? Right now, right this very minute, prove to me that God exists. Tell me something, tell me anything, that makes you have the faith in His existence.”
She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes and looked at me with suspicion. “This is another trick question, isn’t it?” she chortled.
I shrugged.
She let out a deep breath and nodded, taking on the challenge. “Well,” she began, “I know that God exists. That’s without a doubt.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I just know.”
“But how do you know?” I pressed. “Where is God? Have you had any experiences with God where you can claim, as fact, that your proof or evidence of His existence came from Him? What makes you know this?”
Suddenly her smile went taut, and her eyes turned glassy, and without warning, tears filled her eyes. “Darcy, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you this upset.”
Her tears were now falling down her cheeks, and she just let them. “Val, I don’t have an answer and I don’t know. And to be honest, there have been many times when I doubted God’s existence but felt guilty for doing so. You’re right. I can’t prove it. I don’t have that deep unwavering knowingness. I don’t have total belief. I guess I don’t have faith.”
I gave a sympathetic shrug and a small smile. “But I do,” I said. “And I didn’t just get it by having it pounded into my freakin’ head. I got it by asking for it. I got it by going within and seeking it. I asked, and I received. And that’s how I got my proof of that which I can’t see. That’s how I got my faith.”
She pulled both sleeves of her light jacket over her hands and wiped her face. “Teach me,” she said. “I want to know more.”
“Teach you?” I repeated.
I looked back to the ocean and asked myself, Am I the one to do this? And I heard, Yes, you are.

House of Intention — excerpt


 My eyes popped open as the familiar scary sound entered my consciousness. Footsteps were creeping toward my bedroom. I quickly and quietly jumped out of the bed and tiptoed over to my bedroom door, and with trembling legs and pounding heart, listened. The footsteps were getting closer. It’ll be like the last time, I yelled to myself, trying to remain calm. You’ll see. Just open the door! I swallowed a deep breath and counted. One. Two. Three.  No one was there. 

There’s nothing more unnerving than being alone in your home and seeing a dark shadowy figure whip past your peripheral vision. The moment fills you with a spine-tingling apprehensiveness; a feeling that causes you to move cautiously from room to room, searching for something you’ll never find.

The first time I was alone in my four-story townhome and heard footsteps on the floor above me—when I knew for a fact no one was home—left me paranoiac, to say the least. I was in my family room located on the first floor, watching TV and folding laundry, when I heard it. As the stairs above me creaked, I could feel the saliva leaving my mouth. I jumped off the couch and strained to listen. There was definitely someone walking on the floor above me. Suddenly panicked, I eyed the phone on the other side of the room, and made a mad dash over to it to call the police. But at that exact moment, the phone rang, and because of its impeccable timing, I was afraid to pick it up. By the second ring, I got up my nerve to answer it, and as I did, the channel on the TV changed. My house had become a hotbed of chaotic activity. And what added to it? When I answered the phone, no one was there. 

Anyone I talk to says the same thing. The very thought of a ghost conjures images of hazy, milky entities roaming castle hallways and big, old Victorian homes. These seemingly-real forms have been spotted by doorways, or standing by windows, or floating down a dimly lit staircase. Many people claim to have had face-to-face encounters with these ghosts, and because of it, paranormal movies and TV shows have become increasingly popular over the last few years.  

I’d always believed that when a person died, they simply vanished into nothingness. The light of their consciousness slowly dimmed until it completely fizzled out. I hadn’t given thought as to whether they could come back to the physical world to visit. But I found out they did visit. They lingered the earthly plane, transparent and bloodless in their plight, searching for something they needed or left behind. In my case, it was me.

Throughout history, people have spoken of things which aren’t of this world. Epic tales get acted-out over roaring campfires, all in an effort to stir the imagination of the listener. We all love a good scare now and then, don’t we?  It’s edgy. It’s a thrill. It’s like a high-adrenaline rush; where escaping the clutches of danger is the reward. A good scare is fun, providing of course, that we come out of it unscathed. And when we do come out of it, we laugh and high-five each other. But deep down, our laugh is a cover-up for the truth of what could have happened

House of Intention–my obsession into the deep

House of Intention–my obsession into the deep

‘Master of the Realm is an amazing true story about a young woman’s relapse with agoraphobia and the supernatural signs she begins to receive when she begs God for His help.’ 

Master of the Realm was just the beginning. It was the stepping stone for greater things. Writing it was not only cathartic, it was a lesson. Since publishing it, not only have God’s signs gotten bigger, more powerful, and twice as meaningful, the whole ordeal got me to study the one thing people fear the most, and that’s death.

As you read House of Intention, please allow yourself to drift into the unknown. Give yourself permission to ponder the idea that every element of life, every breath of it, each atom that makes up each living cell, is about you, your soul, the other side, and God. That’s it. There is nothing else in this existence that matters other than yourself and the very fact that your mind creates your life.                                 

                                                                                            Valentine deFrancis

Master of the Realm is Free on Amazon today

I told you I’d give you a free download of Master of the Realm, and I’m a person who keeps her word. For today and tomorrow you’ll be able to download your free copy of Master of the Realm on Amazon. Consider it my late Valentine’s Day present to you

To download your copy, you can just go to Amazon. Here’s the link




Love is in the air and it certainly is for me. And to celebrate my love for life, I’m giving Note to Self as a free gift from me to you, in honor of my namesake and birthday, VALENTINE’S DAY–February 14, 2013.

 Also, on Ash Wednesday, February 13, 2013, I’m giving you MASTER OF THE REALM. 

 How do you get these two books for free? Simple. Just go to and download. Easy peasy.


 PLEASE NOTE: These books are my gift to you, but they’ll only be free for one day. That’s it. So jot down the day and grab a copy.




 Hope you enjoy my gifts to you.


My eyes shot open at 4 a.m. and as I gained full awareness, I heard the rain tapping against my bedroom window pane–sounding like tiny pellets of ice. I pulled the covers closer to my chin and snuggled into my warm comforter. And as I did, I relaxed back into that glorious state between consciousness and coma–the state where total chaos resides, where you’re on the edge of existence. I was just about there when I jumped into attention and thought, Am I still alive?


I flipped over to look at the time and as I did, pushed the covers to the side and sat up. As I stared into the darkness I made a silent huff. Yeah. That’s right. I’m still here. And if I’m not here, than wherever here is, is now where I am. And if this is death then death is exactly like life because nothing feels out-of-place or wrong.


I got out of the bed and went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot and as I proceeded into my office to turn on my laptop, I couldn’t help but think that it’s the fault of man that we, the people, are always put into a state of panic.


I blame the media. I blame all those well-meaning broadcasters who think they are doing the world a great service by giving us the gruesome details of how man is destroying himself and his planet. Think about it. If people didn’t turn on the news, or TV for that matter, then they wouldn’t know about a crime committed on the other side of the world; which would then go unnoticed by them, and not reenacted in their minds . . a gazillion times, causing them to suffer the fear that whatever they watched or heard could be done to them. People wouldn’t have ideas planted in their heads on how to commit the perfect murder that they just watched on the news–as they stare at their significant other and think, I didn’t know you could inject cyanide into a banana … hmmm. Good to know.


If people didn’t listen to the media, they wouldn’t be gathering in churches and groups, praying for redemption, and begging God to forgive their lifes’ indiscretions. Seriously? What the f$$?

I am sick of the freakin’ media. I am sick of hearing about how wrong our world is. I am sick of everyone discussing it day and night. I am sick of being sick. So, here’s what I’m going to do. I am not discussing Sandy Hook or Hurricane Sandy. I am not discussing September 11th. I am not discussing Pearl Harbor nor the Texas massacre or Jesus being crucified 2500 years ago. I am not. If you want to live a happy life, you have to let go of the drama and focus on what a beautiful world we were born into. I can’t bear to hear it anymore. I don’t know about you, but I’m done.


It’s 9:23 a.m. and I AM STILL HERE. And until the good Lord takes me, I’m going to do everything in my power to belief in the goodness of man and this beautiful life I was given.



Sowing the Seeds of Power

When I stop to reflect on my life, I see a tree on the verge of blossoming. I feel myself ready to conquer the world. It’s a feeling that resonates within my heart. I know it and therefore, I am it. There is nothing more powerful or supreme than knowing what it is you came to earth to do. There is no greater feeling than knowing who you are. Yet I can say with certainty that not many people know who they are.
Years ago, I was a girl who was lost. I didn’t know I was a valuable person who had so much to offer. I punished myself on a daily basis, filling my own head with thoughts of how I had failed in life. I was negative, unhappy, but mostly, unfulfilled. Where does a person fit into this life if they can’t find their purpose?
Sometimes our search is the purpose. Sometimes, people like me who seek knowledge are here on this planet to seek all the knowledge we can absorb, and maybe it’s so we can teach what we know to those who want to expand.
I say this with the utmost regard for humanity. It’s not who you know. It’s what you know. Because ‘who you know’ can leave you and fade away from your existence. But ‘what you know’ never leaves you. It can’t. It becomes etched into your soul.
What you feel in your heart you shall become. This is the universal law of God. If you want success and abundance, good health and love, then planting seeds of love and worthiness is what you must start with. Thinking these wonderful ideas will then take root in your heart if you continually nurture them by repeating them often. Soon the feeling of power and confidence will flourish in your field of God’s mind. And with diligence and faith, the feeling of purpose will follow.
Pay attention with all your might to the words you use everyday. Each one can either make you or break you. Pay even more attention to how often you use those words–as by thinking them, they get planted deep within your heart, soon to become the truth of who you shall be.
Think beauty. Speak beauty. Feel beauty. For if you do, you will create all you desire.


Here we are once again, almost another year gone by. Looking back over this last year, and observing what I’ve accomplished, I’d have to say I have plenty to be grateful for.

 My life has meaning because of who I am. And it’s because of who I am that I am grateful. The “I AMs” in this existence of life belong to me and to each of you. Each person on this planet can claim “I AM”. And with that beautiful statement, consisting of the two most powerful words in this physical world, it’s my hope that each of you will attach meaningful, positive, loving words to those two most powerful words of I AM.

 Everyday of your only life should begin with I AM made in God’s image.

 Everyday of your only life should be spoken with beauty. I AM beautiful inside and out.

 And everyday of your only life should be held with the utmost respect. I AM deserving of all good things.

 Speak kindly and lovingly about yourself. You represent your creator, here on this plane of existence. And as such, you are perfect even if you feel flawed. Say I AM me, and I love who I am.


I wish you all peace, love, and abundance for 2013.

I AM Valentine deFrancis, and I AM grateful to know all of you.



It’s a Freakin’ Lie

I’ve uncovered a truth to one of the biggest lies perpetuated by man. The lie is: if something good happens then something bad must happen to offset it. Not only is this the biggest crock of shit that I’ve ever heard, the fact that no one has written about it tells me that perhaps no one has given it sufficient thought–until now.

The best way for me to explain this will require you to search your memory. I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Think back to the fun you had with your friends. Think back to how you couldn’t wait to see them every day. Remember all the excitement you felt when playing games with them, going to events, roller skating, swimming in the lake, just having fun. Back then, even if you had a fight with a friend, you still couldn’t wait to get up and go have fun with your friends. Even if you fell while roller skating and hurt your knee, you still couldn’t wait to go out with your friends. Even if you had a cold or flu, you still wanted to play with your friends. There was no stopping you from being outdoors and having fun with your friends. Those days and those times were the best. We didn’t know about fears. We didn’t know about negativities. We only knew that we wanted to have fun, and we let nothing hold us down. We didn’t know things such as: well, if today is a great day then that must mean tomorrow will be a bad day because that’s how life works. HELL NO! We did not know of such things. No one told us of such things. We didn’t have the belief system of such things. And that’s why we were happy. We lived for just being who were were. We lived for the moment. We had one-track minds that said, I want to play! We didn’t go home at the end of our day and say, “Shit, I had a great day. I sure hope I don’t have a messed up day tomorrow.”

We didn’t say these things. We didn’t think these things. Therefore, we lived each day having fun, blowing off the bad parts, not knowing that they were bad parts, and just did what we were born to do. All our days were good days. Even bad days were good days. We did not differentiate. We didn’t know to differentiate. Therefore, we were happy. We didn’t sabotage ourselves with the lie that states all good days must be offset with bad days.

When we were kids, we had fun. We went to bed with fun on our minds. We woke up with fun on our minds. We created fun. We played various games which required the use of our imaginations. We were kings and queens and warriors and martians and supermodels, and astronauts. We played and pretended and for us, life was grand. We attracted fun every single day, and we did this because we didn’t know to do different.

Enter our early twenties . . .

As we got older and took on more responsibilities, our well-meaning parents tried to instill values that would protect and benefit us. Their values were taught to them by their parents, which eventually turned into their own beliefs, which then became a life condition for them which attracted all situations that validated their core beliefs. Our well-meaning parents wanted to instill these core beliefs into us in order to benefit us down the road.

They told us things such as: don’t get your hopes up because if things don’t work out, you’ll end up heart broken and disappointed. They told us that in order to appreciate the good the bad has to happen. They told us that if we keep a happy perspective then people will think we’re pushovers and try to use us. It was one well-meaning lie after another which then became our beliefs. It ruined us.

As an adult, did you ever have a great day then suddenly catch yourself thinking: this is too good to be true? Something bad is going to happen. Did you ever feel afraid to feel good because you were afraid of jinxing yourself? Did you ever think that if you had a great day then a bad day will follow because that’s the way of the world?
If you’ve thought these things, I’m here to tell you they are nothing but lies perpetuated from people who were learning it from their ancestors.

The truth is: we are born with the knowledge that we can overcome anything through the use of our minds, and we are supposed to use this to our advantage. We are to keep the mind of a child in order to let the drama roll off our shoulders so that we can look forward to another day. If what I’m saying isn’t true then children wouldn’t be able to play with joy and freedom of expression. If what I’m saying isn’t true, then children would be neurotic messes at the age of five. The average child lives their life in creative bliss. They do not know to worry about having bad days. This is something that GETS LEARNED DOWN THE ROAD. It’s a lie and it can be stopped right now.

Why would you want to stop this line of thinking?

Here’s an example which will get my point across. Let’s say you had a job interview and it went extremely well. But after leaving the interview and not hearing back from the interviewer for a couple of days, you begin to panic. You begin to think: I knew it went too well. I knew I shouldn’t have been so happy. I never should have told all my friends that the job was in the bag. Does this sound familiar?

If you take a child or youngster to the park and they get into a fight with another kid, you don’t hear them saying: I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the park today. Now look at what happened.

Do you see what I mean? If we attach a negative connotation to something we deemed good, then we most likely will attract that negative connotation. Why is that negative connotation there in the first place? Because we learned it. It’s not inherent. It was observed by us and then became our way of life.

It’s all a lie. We don’t want to attach a negative feeling to something good. That is called sabotage. We want to keep the mind of a child and let the good feeling fester and bubble-up in our hearts and minds. We want to keep it because if we do, we will attract more good things. If we could keep the mind of a child when something not so good happens, we can let that not so good incident simply roll off our shoulders and still be happy. We need to know this.

We need to search our hearts and let this be understood. In life we learn that to appreciate the good, we must know the bad. Yes. I believe this. BUT where is it written that every good deed, good day, good moment must be followed by a bad one? It’s not written anywhere. It’s all made up.

Go live like a child and start feeling the joy of just being who you truly are!

***If you received an email about this post and you do not wish to receive any more of them, go to your email and click on the unsubscribe button which could be found on the bottom of the email. Do not put a complaint here.


Sabotage is one of those words that make most of us cringe. When I think of the word sabotage, I think of people deliberately trying to screw up my life. But then I got to learning. And when I found out that we sabotage our own lives, I thought, hmmm. I better look into this.

Most of you know that I’ve studied the subconscious mind for a gazillion years, and I continue to do so everyday. So when I delved into the Law of Attraction, the Law of Cause and Effect, and a few other universal laws, I came to validate, through these studies and through my own findings and experiences, that we DO sabotage ourselves all day long. But how?

I’m an advocate for learning about “self”. To go through life with blinders on isn’t a productive way to live. When bad situations come our way, we tend to think it’s the outside world doing something to us. We believe that the world is wrong and that people, and God, are against us. It’s never our fault; it’s always someone elses. Well guess what? It is our fault. We are the ones causing our own grief. And I realize when I say this that some of you may click off this blog because you don’t want to believe or accept that you are creating your own strife. But I’m okay with that. Because I know the truth of how the mind works, and by practicing certain principals and digging deep to find answers, I’m living proof of how we can climb the ladder of success in order to have happy lives.

You see, life is an extremely tricky and difficult existence when you stay complacent. Life can be torture if you don’t question your existence. Life can even be not worth living if we don’t challenge ourselves to find our purpose. So, how is it that we come to sabotage ourselves?

We want good things. We want money. We want love. We want health. We tell ourselves all day long that we want. So why aren’t we getting what we want? What is keeping the marvels of life at a distance?

The answer . . . our underlying beliefs.

Now, this is not a small issue. Our core beliefs are established between infancy and approxiamtely seven years of age. It’s during these critical years that our subconscious is open to full suggestion. We’re not living with defense mechanisms. We don’t have our ego-based guards up. We observe and soak up all the events and emotions of those around us. We watch them. We listen. And then we mimick. And it’s these observations which then become our realities.

If we live in a household of fighting parents who argue over money and say negative things about money, we are going to absorb this and make it our belief. If we observe our parents drinking and getting drunk, smoking or getting high, or doing other things that aren’t going to be of good service to us down the road, we’re going to take it in without question; believing that this is the way of life. As we grow up, and continue to see this behavior from our parents or surroundings, not only have we established the core belief that marriage sucks, it’s okay to smoke, only the rich get richer, money is evil, pot is okay for your health, to be drunk all day is okay if my mother or father is doing it; fighting is how to live; we will unconsciously believe it; and therefore do one of two things; live it or be so frightented by it that we go the other way. Why?

Because our subconscious is similiar to a computer. Our subconscious stores the program that runs our behavior and direction. All our early beliefs about life have been fed into it by our observations, and now, the subconscious runs this program and will continue to do so until we change the program—which may be never if we don’t learn about ourselves.

If you have a computer, you know the computer runs the software that’s been installed. And the computer doesn’t know to do anything other than run what’s been installed. We cannot change this fact; just like we cannot change how our mental computer runs its software. Right?

But what happens if we change the software on our computer? We get a different program. We get a different outcome. Whatever software we install is what the computer spits out.

So think of our core beliefs as the software which our subconscious computer runs. Our core beliefs are running all day long, and its Godly design is to seek out validation (output, manifestation) of these beliefs from the outside world—NO MATTER WHAT WE CONSCIOUSLY believe. In other words, if we’ve watched and observed our parents fighting over money, and heard them saying that money is evil and causes nothing but problems, and that only the rich get rich and life is unfair, AND then watched how they have struggled to make ends meet, more than likely we will have the core belief that money is evil. Now, if we have this core belief, and if we’ve watched our parents struggle, then we’ve made an unconscious correlation that to have money is evil and to struggle is the only way to earn a living. Now keep in mind that this IS YOUR SOFTWARE, and since it’s the subconscious’ job to seek out validation of its beliefs, it does, and it will deliver to you circumstances and situations to line up with its beliefs. Whatever its beliefs are.

So let’s say you want a job and you line up this great interview. You prepare. You’re ready. You’re going to get this job; at least that’s what you consciously tell yourself. But on the day of your interview, you’re late. On the day of the interview, you mess up. On the day of the interview, you say the wrong thing. You don’t understand how it happened. You didn’t mean to say the answers you gave. You didn’t mean to get there late. What went wrong?

You sabotaged yourself unknowingly. In your thinking, you wanted the job. In your thinking, you deserved the job; but subconsciously you didn’t believe you were worth it. Subconsciously you believed that you must struggle in order to earn a living. Subconsciously you believed that money is evil. And since the subconscious is Godly designed to deliver your beliefs by seeking out all situations and circumstances, by exuding these energy beliefs into the universe, you attract that which you subconsciously believe; no matter what you think you believe.

How do we know what we subconsciously believe? Stop what you’re doing and look around your house or apartment. Go to your window and look out. Look at your car. Do you have a car? Look at your neighborhood. Is this where you want to live. Look at your job, your friends, your relationship, your money situation. Is your life where you want it to be? Are you thin and healthy? If you answer no to these questions, despite that you want all these good things, then your core belief is that you don’t deserve these good things, for whatever reasons that were installed.

There are ways to find out what your core beliefs are. There’s muscle testing, various lines of questioning, meditation, all types of ways to find out what you really believe. Simply put, sit quietly for several minutes and when your mind is quiet ask yourself: why don’t I have money? Why is it just when I’m at the brink of success something derails me? Ask, and you will get the answers. Why will you get the answers? BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE CREATED TO DO: TO SEEK ANSWERS in order to evolve into the image you were created in.

We are made in God’s image; which simply means that we are designed by nature to have it all. We are designed by nature to seek answers. We are designed to evolve into God’s image.

So. Are you telling yourself one thing and getting something else? It’s about time to find out.

God is Your Conscience; you didn’t know that?

What is our subconscious?

It’s the key to mankind. It’s the processor of all events, all the information, all the feelings, all the intentions and all the imagination you possess. It’s the storehouse for all memories. It’s the boat which is steered by our thoughts. It’s our lifeline to the other side. It’s the facilitator to all good things, bad things, and even death. The subconscious, a deeper part of our mind, is the kingdom where all magic happens. It holds our secrets; our fears; our deviant deeds, and all the answers we need to get by in this physical life. It regulates our bodies; its functions and tells it to be healthy or to be sick.

It’s a mysterious mechanism, yet simple to use if understood.

The subconscious mind DOES NOT FUNCTION BY MERE WORDS, NOR DOES IT DISTINGUISH between right and wrong. The subconscience mind is neutral. It doesn’t know the meaning of good or bad. It doesn’t work like that. It runs according to our core beliefs and our dominant feelings—which transmutes to pure energy vibrating at various levels. Our core beliefs, and the feelings we have assigned to them, have been established through our experiences. Therefore, if feelings feed the subconscious, wouldn’t it make sense that we feed it good feelings?

Now . . .

Let’s talk about words and their effect in our lives.

If you think of the word peace, instantaneously you’re imagining peaceful images; whether you’re aware of it or not. If you think of the word war, you’re imagining horrendous images such as death and crime. So, if your subconscious mind cannot distinguish words, what happens when we use these words?

Let’s say at this very moment you’re thinking: I WISH WE WEREN’T AT WAR

You may think that you’re wishing for peace when you state I WISH WE WEREN’T AT WAR because that is your thought. But when you’re saying to yourself the word war, there are images and feelings instantaneously associated with it. Without realizing it, you’re imagining bombs and fires and soldiers killing the enemy. It happens within nano-seconds because you’re conditioned to process thoughts instantaneously. THEREFORE, when you think the word war, regardless of how you use it, the images, along with their feelings that you’re sending the subconscious mind—which are bloody battlefields, unfortunately will be delivered to you in the physical world. Your subconscious will not bring you peace because you didn’t use the word peace–which in itself, conjures up an entirely different image and feeling.

NOW . . .

Let’s say you’re thinking this very moment: I WISH THERE WAS PEACE ON EARTH. The very fact that you switched the sentence and wished for peace, evokes thoughts and images of calm, loving, smiling people getting along with each other. You may not realize that this is happening, but it is. Keep in mind that we are taught to communicate with words and pictures. Then during our lifetimes, we attach feelings to our words, and assign meaning to them through our perception and life experiences. What one person sees as beautiful, another may not. But one thing that’s universal is how we depict war and how we depict peace. Using the word peace fills you with the mental image and feeling of love. Peace now is your dominant feeling, whether you realize it or not, and the subconscious mind will deliver only what is dominantly felt.

The subconscious mind, also, is no respector of persons. Now, where did you hear something similar to this? In the Bible, remember? The Bible states that God is no respector of persons. What exactly does this mean?

God is consciousness. God is universal mind. Our conscious—you know, the thing that keeps us aware of life, where we have all these crazy conversations and images—is our direct contact with God’s consciousness. It is NOT our brains. This thing, this field where we think and talk to ourselves and where we pick up on things, stands alone. It’s our antennae to universal oneness with each human being and all living creatures on this planet. We all share a piece of this universal God-consciousness. This is what we are. We are pure consciousness with a physical body who are here to experience feelings and to actualize ourselves. Without being conscious, without consciousness, we wouldn’t exist. We wouldn’t know that we didn’t exist.

Therefore, if God, our conscious, is no respector of persons, which means He doesn’t know bad or good, only feelings, He will deliver to you all that you feel strongly about. Using words and picking them cautiously is critical to life on earth and your personal experience with it. You will get what you truly feel—whether it’s good or bad!

God, our consciousness—the field of creativity—answers prayers. He will deliver what you ask for, will give you what you desire. Either way. He does not prejudice against the words you use; He only works according to the feelings behind the words. This means that you have to be careful of what you say because whether you know it or not, each word you use has been assigned a meaning and feeling. You have exercised your free will. With free will, you can choose your meaning to words and to life. You can choose what you want to say. You can choose your path. When you know universal law and when you understand what and who God is, and when you understand how the mind works, including the subconscious part of it, and when you put it all together, and begin doing good things deliberately, you are on your way to the creating the greatest aspect of you. You begin to play God. You begin to act like God. Why? Because you are made in His image, that’s why.

What is the Law of Attraction: every increment of existence vibrates. All good things vibrate at higher levels. All negative things vibrate at low levels. Using good words, with good meanings attached to them, sends out high energy vibrations that automatically attract and seek out other vibrations equal to itself. Things like abundance, good health, love . . .

Don’t you see? You want good things, set your mind to it. Otherwise you’ll get what you really ask for.

Why He Really Cheated

excerpt from Note to Self . . .

There was silence. She was giving my statement a moment of reflection. Finally she said, “Jess, I have to be honest with you. I love my kids, but sometimes I wish I never had them. I know they can take care of themselves but somewhere deep inside, I blame them for Jon leaving me.”

Hearing her say those words immediately made my analytical-therapist-self kick into gear. “Tina,” I said with an air of profundity, “your kids aren’t the reason why Jon cheated on you. I’m sure he loves the kids. You want—wait, let me correct that. You need someone to blame, and the kids seem the more logical choice. To admit to yourself that Jon left you—left Tina—is admitting that you’re fallible and human. You didn’t hold up to your end of the marital bargain. You let yourself go, and you want to blame having three babies as your reason. But what you tell yourself, delusional as it is, is something that most women tell themselves when their husbands cheat on them. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Again there was silence, and I was waiting for her to tell me to go fuck myself.

“You’re right,” she said in a softer voice. “I used the kids as an excuse to binge and not exercise. I gave my attention to them and at the end of the day, I was too freakin’ tired to fix myself up and play Stepford wife. And you know what’s really bothering me?”

“Tell me,” I said.

“What’s really bothering me is that I knew it all along. I knew that I was letting myself go. I knew that Jon was losing interest. It was obvious by the way he was acting—only I chose not to see it because seeing it meant that there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t that perfect looking girl from high school. It’s entirely . . . my . . . fault.”

She broke into a quiet sob.

“Tina,” I said, trying to calm her, “it’s not your fault. Can I tell you something?”

“Please,” she sniffled, “tell me anything, just as long as it helps my broken heart.”

“When someone cheats, it’s not you they’re cheating on. There’s something within them that’s empty and can’t be fulfilled. It may feel like it’s being done to you because you’re the one suffering the consequences of the infidelity. Those who hurt others, whether through jealous acts of vengeance or infidelities, do it because they’re hurting deep down. You have to believe me on this. I’ve studied the mind for a long time, and the people who come to me for help aren’t any different from you or me. We’re emotional beings, and when we feel unfulfilled, when we think we’re not good enough, we subconsciously seek out situations to either validate it or reject it. He cheated on you for the same reasons Kevin cheated on me. They both needed to feel young—to be validated—because deep down, they believe they’re over the hill—that they’ve lost it. We were too busy to make them feel better about themselves, so they sought out others who would.”

Her sobbing seemed to have slowed down, and she took in a long breath, as if she was giving my statement full consideration. “Dear God, Jess. What you just said, could it be true? Do people really cheat because they feel unfulfilled?”

“They do, Tina. It’s the only reason they cheat.”

**To purchase Note to Self, just go to the right of this page and click on any of the Note to Self links


We’re Born to Die


There’s only one thing in life that is true for every human on the planet, and that is, we’re born to die.

Why I was chosen to tell you this had me baffled at the time, and if anyone would have told me that my soul’s mission was to deliver this universal truth to mankind, I would have laughed and waved them away.  But here I am, detached from your world, about to embark on a journey that to most humans would seem utterly unfathomable.  But, getting back to this truth . . . It’s something that you need to know. Understanding and accepting it won’t be easy, as it’ll go against everything you’ve been conditioned to believe. Even my students at Columbia had a difficult time understanding it, and it was pounded into their heads every day. Explaining to them that we’re born to die, and that death is what we aspire to, was like trying to explain calculus to an infant: it wasn’t happening. It’s not that they weren’t fascinated or interested in learning it; they just couldn’t grasp the concept. Of course, while teaching them, they continually hounded me to present proof, but I had no literal proof at the time, as no human does. But after studying the greatest scholars and spiritual teachers, and after traveling around the world to further my studies, I formulated a belief based upon my experiences, and that belief is: there is life after death.

And I was correct.

It was Thursday, May 3, 7:52 a.m. when they pulled the plug and declared me officially dead. But I was gone long before that. You see, when a person’s hooked-up to a life support system, it’s that system keeping their vitals alive. The spirit leaves the body before it shuts down. It knows its time is up. And that’s what happened with me. A blinding white light came into my view and when I focused on it, I was ripped out of my body. It was a moment of euphoric revelation and freedom, one that I’d like for you to envision.

I could actually feel myself rising out of the confines of my imprisonment; ripping away from my robe of flesh, separating from it, like a butterfly separating from its chrysalis.  Gone were the shackles that made me a slave to my own life; those hurts and fears that kept me unfulfilled and oppressed. I was now free from their captivity—my body left behind; that lifeless, disease-filled corpse which would soon be buried and forgotten.

Now I ask you: could any human know the exuberance of this freedom? Could they understand how a butterfly emerges from a creature that can only crawl—how its metamorphic frame can lift gracefully into the air with just the flutter of its parchment wings? My soul now understands that to be a butterfly, it must first know its beginning; the genesis of its existence and the many stages it must experience in order to arrive at its full enlightenment.

As I crossed into the dimension known as the other side, I was able to see into the life I left behind—into those endless corridors that I once roamed, searching for that one door that would open; that one door that would lead me to happiness. While alive, I couldn’t find the door; I was blinded by my struggles. But from where I am now, the truth is so clear: life isn’t a punishment that has a pointless ending. Life is for learning. It’s about rising above the atrocities and emotional pains that are self-inflicted and creating our reality from within. And death? Death is part of the reason why we’re born. It’s the prize we get for enduring the trials of life. It’s what we aspire to on an unconscious level—something that no human can escape. Death is our reprieve. It allows us to look back on our mistakes so that we can grow. And, as we cross back to our natural state of spirit, we remember this. But in the physical world, all this knowledge is forgotten. It’s pushed down and buried under layers of living—deeply filtered by our subconscious and ego. We lose our perfectness when we’re born into the physical world—to the point where we grow into hateful, vengeful, greedy beings—known as man.

You see, man was created in God’s image so that man would enhance God’s own existence; so that man would expand space and perpetuate realities through his thoughts. But the image that man was created in wasn’t just the physical aspect of God; it was the mental aspect—the workings of God’s mind . . . His ability to create. Yes, God gave man the whole package, and included in the package was the freedom to make his own decisions. It’s called free will. And even though God knew every thought and action that man would ever have, He didn’t interfere with his decisions. He let man make his mistakes. He had to; it was a part of the plan. He called it lessons, and without them, the soul wouldn’t be able to evolve to its full potential.

But despite man being created in God’s image, he wasn’t made perfect; although, man believed that he was. Man believed that he could outthink God. He believed that he was it. He believed that all his ideas and dreams were born only to him. But I’ll let you in on a secret. Every aspect of man’s mind, from the most darkest and inconceivable thoughts to the most ingenious ideas, have already been a thought in the mind of God. Even man’s emotions were given to him for a reason. He didn’t just summons them into his gut; they’re a part of his navigational system—to guide him. When man gets off track with God, he feels sadness and a lack of purpose. Man was supposed to question these feelings so that God could guide him onto his path, but he didn’t. Instead, he disillusioned himself into believing that his sadness was caused from an outside source, such as lack of money or lack of love, but that was just his ego masking the truth. Man didn’t want to accept that there was something bigger and better than him. And although he knew it deep down, he chose not to deal with it by telling himself that if God were real then life would be perfect; and this gave him the reason to keep his ego alive. It made him powerful. It made him feel in control. But deep within man’s soul was a fact that he would never understand while in the physical world: he only existed because he was a part of the plan.

Yes, God deliberately made man. He gave him the ability to create his outside world through his thoughts. He gave him the power to communicate with Him by using a special part of his brain—the part that’s hidden behind his eyes, located between the two hemispheres. It’s what the prophets spoke of for thousands of years. It’s called the Pineal, and it’s the key that unlocks supernatural doors, enabling man to cross the threshold of the physical world to step into the beyond.

You see, man always had the ability to connect with God while living in the physical world, but he chose not to figure it out; because figuring it out would make him work too hard for something that he wasn’t sure of—for something that he couldn’t see or touch. It was knowledge that was innate, just waiting to be tapped into. God didn’t want it kept as a secret. He wanted man to reach for Him for all his answers, but man didn’t. He chose to look elsewhere, and God knew that this would happen. He knew that man would take the ring and run with it, believing that he had all the control.

Man indulged his ego to the point of self destruction. He allowed money, sex, and power to dictate his life. He blamed his decisions on his right to pursue happiness. He told himself that he had to take care of number one. His hypocritical reasoning used the idea of God when his life was good, and when his life was in chaos, he blamed God for deserting him. Man became cocky and shunned the one thing that was there for him all along. Not only didn’t man revere God, he no longer believed in Him.

What I’m about to tell you may fill you with uncertainty and apprehension. God isn’t some celestial ruler created by a bunch of religious scholars. And while all you people have been living a lie, living in your ego-filled worlds, an ethereal plan has been unfolding; a plan that will make the Book of Revelations look like a child’s tale.

Know this: Man was given two paths to choose from. He listened to his ego. Now they’re both going to pay.



Babababaaaaddddboy to the Bone

Yesterday, I wrote about how I suffered through my first heartbreak. Looking back on the experience, I can see things from a learning perspective. Back then, I was just a young girl, beginning my journey into life. I was new. Pure. Untouched. Unspoiled. But living life does something to one’s persona. When you get cheated on, or betrayed or lied to, it takes away the happy–it takes away the innocense, and leaves hard-core cynics who live in mistrust and fear. Life has a way of working its lessons, doesn’t it? One day we’re wearing shit-eating grins, and the next day we’re crying over some guy who didn’t call.

But here’s the thing: why do we let ourselves get hurt, over and over again? I know we’re not stupid people. We have it going on, don’t we? We’re hip to it, clever, too old for the chomp, and yet, we still make the same freakin’ mistakes; as if we’re robots stuck on STUPID mode. But, why?

Why do we go with the wrong men? What is it about the badboy that attracts us?

Now, before you say that you’re not attracted to the badboy, let me define what badboy means to me. To me, a badboy is a guy who we can’t stay away from. He’s cute, funny, smart, you know, he has the whole package. The reason I call him a badboy isn’t because he’s out in the world committing crimes or riding a Harley with the Angels, wreaking havoc everywhere he goes. Nope. He’s a badboy because there’s something about him that hits an emotional trigger within us; a trigger that could bring us to our knees, if we let it. What’s the trigger? It’s our fathers.

Please don’t say, eeeww, because I’m not talking about sex here. I’m talking about a trait that mimics something we equate with love and security–even in father-daughter relationships that weren’t good. We somehow make an emotional link to the badboy if there’s something about him that subconsciously reminds us of our fathers. So this guy is good to go, right? Wrong.

Wrong? Yes, wrong. Why? Because these traits are only mimics of the man who raised you. The badboy is just a guy who has his own values and beliefs. He’s not your father; he’s only a trigger. He’s got his own agenda which may be good or not so good. He may look like dad, walk like dad, talk like dad, but he ain’t dad. He’s a badboy who reminds you of dad, and this, all by itself, keeps you attracted to him.

Now this guy may come off like the greatest catch, and because of it, you find yourself hopelessly in love—to the point where he can do no wrong, until he does something wrong. You find out he cheated. Can’t be. He was perfect in every way. But the truth is, you wanted to believe he was perfect because he reminded you of dad. What now? How do you get past his betrayal? You want to believe he’s innocent. You’re even willing to give him another chance, if his story seems credible. But the story doesn’t hold water. He tricked you. Eventually, he’s gone.

What do you do now? If you don’t understand what attracted you to this guy you’ll end up going after another guy just like him. You’ll find another daddy-badboy and repeat the process all over again. So how do you break the pattern of going after the badboy?

You have to sit down and examine the attraction. Examine his traits. Think them through. Then ask yourself this: am I equating this guy with my father? It’ll be tough to answer because you may not want to admit it, but trust me, if you do this, you won’t make the same mistake again.

Girls. I hate to say this, but it’s horrible when big girls cry. Isn’t it time to put an end to it?

Time . . . the ultimate illusion

Why the calendar with my name written across it? To remind me that every day of the week, of every day of my life, it’s about fulfilling my dreams and making my life all about me–-about choosing what’s best for me and jumping on every opportunity to make things happen.

This calendar represents life and how it passes so quickly, and that if we don’t take it by its horns, we’ll miss out on all the magnificent experiences we’re supposed to have.

If you understand that you’re the creator of your life, made in God’s image, here to feel the exuberance of creating your desires–watching them flourish into actual concepts, then you know that time is truly of the essence in the scheme of your physical existence.

Every day, we struggle with our beliefs. We have inner conflict about what’s right and what’s wrong. We believe that in order to feel good about ourselves, we need others to approve what we’re doing, who we should be doing it for; and we end up living our only God-given life to please others–just to feel liked. Just to feel loved. Just to feel special. So could it be true that we need the approval of others in order to feel that life is worth living? Is this the life that God gave us? To exist solely for others? Or did God put us here to experience our greatness, and to live-out our divine right to be who and what we are without the need for anyone’s approval?

At the end of the day, do you feel good about your life? About the choices you made that day? At the end of the day, do you feel relieved that an enemy spoke to you? Do you feel giddy that you got accepted by that clique of girls in your office? Do you feel exhilerated because you’re finally accepted by the hip crowd? Did you finally get on your mother-in-law’s good side and now life is perfect?

Think about this. If every area of your life is about getting someone else’s approval and acceptance, to the point where you’re not doing what your heart tells you to do, what does that mean? It means you’re giving up your beautiful, special life for others. You’re living to please them. You’re living your beautiful life the way others are telling you to–not giving yourself the love and respect that you deserve to be living your God-given life your way.

Who are you living for? Your kids? Your spouse? Your church? Your friends? If you’re not living for you–if you’re not taking care of your body, mind, spirit, soul and your needs first, you may as well not be on this planet at all. Without taking care of you, without striving to fulfill your purpose and the freedom to express your individuality, then you are truly not living in the name of God. YOU must always come first. You have a life meant only for you, just as your friends have their lives meant for them.

If you don’t live for you, then don’t complain. Your days are numbered. Just check the calendar. Start doing for you. Live outside your protected box of structured time and go for it. Whatever that may be.





The day started like any other day.
My receptionist, Kristin, had buzzed me on my pager to let me know that my first patient of the day, Larry Schafer, had arrived and was waiting in my office, which is downstairs from the main part of my house. I answered her by saying that I was on my way down, but just then, my house phone began to ring, and hearing it ring made me stop dead in my tracks. I curiously glanced over to the phone and then looked at my watch, and not wanting to keep Mr. Schafer waiting, decided to let the call go into voicemail. But for some reason, the tone of the ring had a strange feel to it, and the fact that it rang at all did more than pique my curiosity. Maybe my overly suspicious defenses were triggered because my friends and family knew to call Kristin if they needed to reach me during the day and that hearing the phone ring, when it shouldn’t be ringing, almost seemed eerie.Deciding to ignore it, I walked over to the back door, just outside my kitchen, and grabbed my sneakers and began putting them on. But by the second ring, my gut was taunting me with the idea that this was no ordinary call. I couldn’t let it go and ran over to answer it.
“Hello?” I said very carefully.
After listening to what the caller had to say, I found that I was unable to move; unsure if I had heard correctly or that maybe the caller had the wrong number. She said that if I was looking for my husband, I could find him at his usual room at the Skyview Motor Lodge, right outside of JFK Airport. Suddenly, my perfect life, with its accomplishments, luxuries, and fantastic circle of friends was pulled from under me, and what I had suspected for years now proved to be more than the occasional suspicion. I buzzed Kristin and told her to reschedule Mr. Schafer and to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. I was going to put an end to my suspicions once and for all.
As I stood outside the motel door trying to calm my pounding heart, I knew that I was about to face a pivotal moment; a truth that I had evaded for years. Would I be forced into accepting that my husband, the man I’ve known half my life, was nothing more than a con artist who’d deceived me from day one? I inhaled a deep breath and prayed that I wouldn’t fall apart, and then banged on the door several times. When it opened, I was face-to-face with the biggest liar I had ever known.
He had a white towel wrapped around his waist, and beads of sweat were trickling down his temples and chest. His expression was one of utter shock and disbelief. He never expected to see me standing at that door.
As I shoved my way past him and went into the room, I looked over to the bed. She had the sheet pulled up to her neck and was studying me through eyes that were wide with panic. I stared back at her thinking that she was stunningly beautiful—with her light green eyes, flawless complexion, and long auburn mane that flowed down and around her shoulders.
Rage and jealousy came at me all at once; dizzying me to the point where I couldn’t think or even speak. The two of them stayed where they were and just watched me. Neither offered words of explanation—nor an utterance of apology. There was only hard-core silence—the kind that makes time stand still; where admission of guilt, though not verbally expressed, was as deafening as my pounding heart. He was with her! He had sex with her! They had shared that ultimate closeness; that bond that only love making could create. They were whispering words of love, making future plans, but worst of all, they were betraying me—the one who loved him unconditionally—the one who stood by him through thick and thin—who wore the gold ring that signified my inherent place next to him. And now, as he took a step toward me, running his hands through his saturated hair, eyes filled with desperation and shame, I just shook my head not wanting to hear what he had to say. I didn’t want lies. I didn’t want excuses. There was nothing to discuss. He broke our pact—obliterated my trust—and it was a pain that permeated my flesh and etched itself into my soul.When someone cheats on you, the memory stays with you for the rest of your life, and you end up judging all your future relationships based upon that one undying memory.
from Note to Self, due out June 2012

Posted by at 12:00

If Only

If Only

The meadow was open and endless,
the sense of tranquility whispering a secret
each step cushioned by thick, lustrous strands of green velvet
so damp and sweet
wild flowers growing unevenly in between
as white clouds hang low slowly blending
and all that can be felt is the certainty that speaks

ever-so softly in my mind

I just know

I walk alone surrounded in this surreal splendor
trying to comprehend the balance that truly does exist
trying to fathom perfection and the reason why we are here
and how the planets stay aligned
never falling from the universe that’s as dark as pitch
complimenting each other
the plan was too perfect to be a coincidence

The sun is comforting as the wind gently brushes my skin
and the only sound that I can hear is sweet and barely audible
stillness I think it is,
or perhaps the contentment that I feel
I’ve known this feeling
I’ve felt it once before
yet I can’t recall its connected bliss

There before me I see forever
Gardenias’ parfume flood my senses
days of standing at the dunes staring at the faraway places
recalling the recesses of my mind
a life left behind

The constant rush of memories in black and white
like faded pictures dusty and lost
they erode my fortress and carry it off into the sea
to the bottom
only to be conjured another time

Butterflies flutter past me
their parchment-like wings carry their metamorphic frames
and in slow motion I witness their angelic flight
just like the planets, they stay perfectly balanced in the stillness
while I walk past old tombstones chipped and white
weather beaten from centuries gone by
and I still can’t help but to wonder why

I reflect

I remember that I once walked this very field


The planets stay up in the heavens and never fall

they remain constant

as do I


I was wondering how I was going to broach this topic. When it comes to God and the law of attraction, and free will, people get confused and leery as to whether they should contemplate the existence of these ideas. They even fear being blasphemous—that entertaining the idea of the law of attraction goes against God.

Having said that: if this subject rubs you the wrong way, then please feel free to exit from this blog. If this subject causes you stress, then please feel free to exit from this blog. And lastly. If talking about God brings up the need to debate His existence, or lack thereof, please exit from this blog. For the record, I will not debate God’s existence. I will not debate religion. And I will not debate my beliefs. So, if you’re a debater, you’re in the wrong place. This is a place for exploration and deep reflection. This is a place where hopefully, you’ll find some answers. This is a place that’s deep within my being— located in a non-linear plane whichs knows no space or time, nor bars or walls. This place is my mind. So you’re either willing to listen or free to go. It’s all good.

Moving on . . .

If you’ve read my previous articles, then you know I’m an advocate for the law of attraction. I’ve been studying the mind for more than half my life. Does that make me an expert? It does . . . in my world. But I don’t want to come off as a snooty know-it-all. Becoming an expert in any field is based on one’s willingness and perception TO know it all. Everyone is a know-it-all when it comes to their own life. Indeed they are. No person can tell you more about you then you. When it comes to you, you are an expert; hence, so is everyone else, including me. The only difference that may exist between you and me is that I go to tremendous lengths to find answers, and I don’t stop until I get them. Which is something that benefits anyone who’ll listen. Again, I’m not tooting my horn. I’m just stating a fact.

Hundreds of geniuses have written articles concerning their experiences with God and the spirit world. They’ve documented their findings in an effort to help man achieve his purpose—in order for him to reach his spiritual evolution. These masters, dating back thousands’ of years, before Jesus and even before Buddha, knew about God and man’s direct connection to Him. They’ve transcended their earthly ego in order to find God. They knew about the law of God, which simply put is: we are made in His image, and included in that image is his ability to create. (I’m stating a line from Master of the Realm–a true story I wrote of how I connected with the spirit world.)

After going through my own spiritual evolutional metamorphosis and coming to the conclusion that we are made in God’s image, including His ability to create, and then after having spirits lead me to study what I was told, only to find out that the greatest minds in the history of mankind said the very same thing, well, that was good enough for me. Of course, I just didn’t let it drop there. I’ve been talking to God every day of my life, asking a gazillion questions about Him, about me and Him, and about the laws which represent Him: such as the law of gravity; the law of cause and effect; the law of attraction; the law of abundance, and so forth. These laws aren’t some hokey-pokey nonsense created to pacify man’s reasoning. These laws aren’t some analogy to justify man’s iniquities. Heck, no! These laws ARE GOD, through and through; therefore, they must be studied and applied by us–those who are made in His image. So, it’s like this:

If God is everything—the universes, the planets, the beings on those planets, the animals, the skies, the oceans, the vegetation, the rock and clay, and all filament, AND if all these attributes are in  perfect harmony, each being what they are, doing what they’re supposed to be doing, existing with each other, moving with the flow, in perfect timing, in sync, then that means that God must be a part of them, or even perhaps, HE is them.


If He is them, then that means that He is us and we are Him; each given the ability to create anything we want. It’s not blasphemous to state: I AM GOD. We are God, here on earth, in the physical. And as God, we have what’s called free will. You know this. You know you can pick and dismiss anything in your life. That’s free will. So, if we can pick and dismiss all things in our existence, and if we are made in God’s image, that must mean that God is free will.

So . . .

If God is free will, and we are made in God’s image, that means that we can create whatever we want. That means that we can pick and dismiss what we want. That means that we can be what we want. If God is free will then that means He will not stop you from creating what you want because YOU are made in His image and given the freedom to create whatever it is that YOU want to create. And if you know about the law of attraction—ENERGY VIBRATION SEEKS ITS LIKENESS OR EQUIVALENT, then you understand that . . .

The law of attraction exists, and it does. And if we are the creators of our worlds, which we are, and if we’re made in God’s image, which we are, and if free will is a part of it is, then that means: GOD WILL NOT STOP CATASTROPHES, which you’ve created. HE WILL NOT STOP POVERTY, which you subconsciously created. HE WILL NOT STOP PAIN AND HEARTACHE, which you created by picking and choosing your desires and battles. DO YOU GET ME?

God has given YOU free will. He won’t interfere . . . UNLESS YOU CHOOSE HIM.

What if . . .

God goes either way? What if He’s here–deep within us, but stays away if we don’t ask for help? If He’s free will, then He’s waiting to be called upon. He’s waiting for us to pick and choose all good things. He’s the law of attraction, who will not stop what you’re subconsciously searching for. So, why are you attracting such catastrophies and heartache? It’s your thinking and core beliefs. Combine it with free will, and guess what? God is not to blame. YOU are to blame.

People want to know why the world is so wrong–why their lives are messed-up, and why God has forsaken them. I’m here to tell you that God is divine and pure love, and if you’re not looking for Him, if you’re not seeking love, if you’re not practicing picking and choosing love, then free will is gonna costya.

I have ideas. I have insight. I ask questions. I seek answers. I want more. I want to rise above life’s chaos and bullshit and live the best life I can. The big question is . . . do you?

Learn about the law of attraction. Learn about your mind and it’s power. Learn what you are. What else is possible should become your mantra.


MY BIG FAT Note to Self . . .

Life sure has its ways of messing with our heads, doesn’t it? One minute everything is going great–according to plan, and the next minute, it’s spiraling out of control. Somehow, things got screwed up. We’ve got problems with work, with friends, with our family . . . and let’s not forget money. What is it about life that leads us up and down that crazy path of uncertainty?

For most people, when life gets crazy and fills our heads with fears and negativity, we panic. We think back to what we could have done wrong, and we look for that negative “thing” that caused us all this grief. But I’m here to tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t say anything that shouldn’t have been said. You didn’t react any other way than how you should have reacted. In other words, EVERYTHING you did, whether you think it was negative or not, was what you were supposed to do at that moment in time.

Now, I know what I’ve just said must sound totally insane and illogical, but I promise you, it’s not. Every little part of your life, every intricate detail of your being, every single speck of thought that you have, you have for a purpose, AND IT’S YOUR PURPOSE, AND RESPONSIBILITY, TO UNDERSTAND this very fact so that you could learn what’s good for your spirit in order to achieve total enlightenment.

So what exactly does this mean? It means that from the time you enter the physical world, until the time you exit the physical world, the ups and downs, the slings and arrows, were all a part of the lessons which your soul arranged prior to your birth. Yes, your soul arranged for these ups and downs to happen. If you can believe that you’ve planned out your life’s journey before you came into the physical world, and if you can let yourself play with the idea that perhaps your life, with all its struggles, was your own idea and choice, then you’re on your way to living the life you’ve always wanted. But how does this help you achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of having? It’s quite simple. YOU ARE NOT AT ANYONE’S MERCY.

It sounds almost contradictory if you think about it, but let me take this a step further to clarify what I mean. We plan our charted course before we come to the physical world, and the reason is so that we can feel ourselves; to actualize our desires and watch them manifest into tangible by-products of our imaginations: in other words, we come to the physical world to create, and to express that which we can’t in the spiritual realm. BUT, and here’s where it gets a little tricky–we, as creations of God, have free will, and having free will means that we can pick battles, dismiss our battles, or create new battles. We plan it all out before we’re born, but once we enter the physical world, we’re at the mercy of our surroundings up until the age of seven. All the information of who we really are is lost once we’re exposed to others’ thoughts and beliefs–and when I say others’, I’m referring to our parents.

Once we’re born, we aren’t able to negate the thoughts and beliefs of others. We aren’t physically and mentally equipped to do so. Everything we hear and see and feel is absorbed and set deep into our subconscious minds. Now here’s where free will comes in. Once we reach adulthood, it’s our purpose to find ourselves. It’s our purpose to deliberately seek answers. Yes, our paths have been set, but it’s up to us to figure it out; to reach deep within when the going gets rough, and to find out what our purpose is. It’s up to us to make the decision if we want to be at the mercy of others’ or if we want to take our lives into our own hands and ask God to guide us back to our charted paths.

So, where do thoughts come in to play? When we’re little, our thoughts are arranged by how we perceive life, and how we perceive life, all depends on what our parents have taught us. These thoughts, which we then expand on, is where free will takes over. We are not at the mercy of our thoughts. We can change them at any time. We are creators who use thoughts to create. It’s up to us to learn the facts of who we really are so that we can pick and choose our thoughts in order to create the life we want– in order to make our journeys the best we can make them.

It’s all about free will and learning that you are the ultimate creator who is NOT at anyone’s mercy. You have the choice of believing what you want. You have the choice of dismissing what others tell you. Belief is in the eye of the beholder, and what you believe is all that matters. Everyone’s thoughts and beliefs are different and you don’t have to believe anything that goes against you. If the thought feels good then just know it’s an absolute truth that resonates with your soul. And if the thought doesn’t feel good, then just know that it’s a lie and goes against your soul. Just follow what feels good to you, and you’ll be on track. DON’T LISTEN TO OTHERS!!!!!!! You are your own person with your own spirit and soul.

This is information that you may not want to believe or accept. But I’m telling you that if you will at least be open to learning more, you will absolutely take control of your life. You have choices. You always did and you always will.

Listen, life is nuts, but there’s hope. God is good. WE ARE NOT AT ANYONE’S MERCY.  We have thoughts, and we have the power to think what we want and to dismiss what we want. Be a leader. Listen to your gut.





It was 4 a.m. and I couldn’t sleep. It was another night when I woke with ideas and thoughts rushing through my mind. I got out of the bed and walked to the front of the house and looked out the window.

There it was– an amazing full moon. It seemed to be calling me. I stared at it and marveled at its illumination, charmed by its allure– mystified by something so fantastic. Seconds later, I had on my coat and I was outside taking pictures.

I’ve captured many supernatural phenomenon on film since my connection to the other side, but this is just downright shocking.

Look to the right of the moon. Tell me, what do you see ?

What Is Man?

. . . man is an extension of Divine Source; created in His image. But upon man’s physical efforts to become his own God, he ended up indulging his ego to the point of self-destruction.

Man’s obsessed with money and power; he’s relentless to be number one. He’s yet to understand the reason he is born. He doesn’t know that he’s born to create, to form new desires, to pick and choose his battles, all which would enhance his experiences and heighten his consciousness as a whole. He doesn’t understand that the body isn’t supposed to get sick, and that if it should get sick, it’s only because he let negativity into his mindset. Every thought has two sides, whereby, giving him the choice to pick from a negative standpoint or a positive standpoint. Yes, sickness and depression are choices that man makes, and he uses these negative choices to suit an underlying purpose.

Apart from the physicality that you know, you are a being who uses thoughts as your way to create, and it is through your thoughts that every detail of your life, including your desires, are created—the good and the bad.  Yes, all the horrific details of your life were chosen by you before you were born. You may be thinking that you would never choose to be sick or to have sick children, or to be poor or homeless. But the truth is that you decide these paths before you are born and you do it to learn. And this includes your children, as well. You may think that you created your children, and in your terms, you do; but here’s the kicker: they choose their parents and their lifes’ paths before they’re born—the same way you picked your situations before you were born. It’s all for one universal reason: each of you wants to understand every element of God—the good and the opposite of good. You planned your charted course for your earthly experience, knowing that when you were born, you could change it if you chose to. You knew you had that power. You knew that you had the ability. You knew that you had and will always have free will to change all of it. You knew that by choosing the correct thoughts that you could rise above sickness and poverty, but you lost sight of this information when you came into the physical.

You need to learn this concept. Your choices are your responsibility. You must stop choosing instant gratification. You must stop kneeling to the throne of greed. Know that every choice you make will have a significant consequence. Your negativity is like acid, and by continually thinking ideas which oppose goodness and love, you are perpetuating the deterioration of mankind. I’ve labeled it the Collective Interactive Phenomena; there are other names for it, but it all breaks down to this: since man’s thoughts are pure energy, they will attract energy of its likeness. On his own, it may take time for man to manifest what he’s thinking, but en masse, it’s the opposite. If millions of people are thinking the same thought then the thought gains power and manifests at an incredible speed. An example of this is the weather. Millions of negative thinkers are waiting for the hurricane season. They think of it, wonder when it will arrive, and then they prepare for it. By these people anticipating and thinking about the hurricane season, and holding that thought for days, what will happen is that a hurricane will form. I know you may not believe this or even understand it, but nonetheless it’s true, and it’s happening every day, all over the world. People, as a collective consciousness, are destroying the planet, but more important, they’re destroying themselves.

The key to life

. . . is within man’s reach. Every man has a choice to think what he wants and to do what he wants. But I’m here to tell you that if you choose to think negatively, and if you choose to compromise God for gain, you will bring about your own death sentence. Every man will find out that he must deliberately choose love. He must continue to create through positive thinking; because it’s man’s thoughts that form new realities, which aids in the continuum of expanding space. If man chooses negative thinking, he will destroy himself and his entire race.

What Do You Do When Love Don’t Love You

What I’m about to tell you is a true story. It’s something that I believe deserves mentioning. It’s a situation that so many of us face everyday, yet we somehow blow if off and tell ourselves that it’s not true. I was 23 years old when this happened. I was young, vulnerable, and a soul who needed to feel loved. It was also a very confusing time for me, as I had only been married one year and wondered if I had made the biggest mistake of my life. You see, my ex-husband was a big-time player back then, and he didn’t want the responsibility of being tied-down. He thought that he could come and go as he pleased, despite my efforts in trying to keep him at bay.

Well one day, I received a phone call from a friend who happened to mention that a group of mutual friends, from the bar where we hung out, were going to Atlantic City that afternoon. The plan was for everyone to meet up at the bar at 4:00 in the afternoon to take a chartered bus. As she continued talking, my mind was playing back the conversation I had with my husband before I had left the house for work that morning. He had told me that he had to do something for his father, and it would take him most of the night. I didn’t think to question him so I let the conversation drop from my mind and headed out the door. But as my friend continued to talk, I began to suspect that I had been lied to and that he would be joining the group who were going out that night.
When I hung up the  phone, I found that my instincts couldn’t be ignored, and I did what I felt was necessary to catch him: I left work early.

He had no idea that I was on my way home, so when I got there, I quickly changed my clothes, grabbed my car keys, and headed over to the local pub. As I was driving, my heart was pounding through my chest. I was so determined to catch him that I was weaving in and out of traffic–I even went through red lights. As I approached the block of the bar, I could see in the distance the silver bus parked in front, and next to it, the large crowd waiting to board. I knew this was going to be it.  I was going to catch him.

I pulled my car over and quickly jumped out; and as I ran towards the group I could plainly see my husband chatting away with one of the girls. The line was moving quickly onto the bus, and he and the girl were almost near the door when I yelled out to him.

“Don’t even try it!”

He spun around, and upon noticing me, displayed a dropped jaw and bulging eyes. He was cold-busted.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I yelled.

He stepped off the line and walked towards me. “What?” he said, playing dumb.

“You heard me. Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to hang out for a while,” he stammered.

I was now in front of his face. “You said you were helping your father tonight. So you lied?”

He turned to look at the line getting onto the bus and then turned to look at me. “I didn’t lie. My father said that he didn’t need any help, so I figured I would go with my friends. What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” I shrieked.

He didn’t answer me. He just kept turning to look at his friends, who were heckling him.

“You must really wanna get on that bus? Don’t ya?” I said.

He rolled his eyes.

Right there I had my answer. He wanted to be with his friends, and had planned on being on the bus and long gone before I got home from work. It was like–play now, deal with it later. The betrayal was almost crushing. To think that my husband was lying right to my face and didn’t even care that I was hurt. I turned around and began walking back to my car.

“So you’re mad?” he called out.

I stopped walking to look back to him.

“You get on that bus, and I’m calling a lawyer.” 

I started to walk away.

He took a step toward me. “Oh, great. Okay, fine. I won’t go. Bitch.” 

I just kept walking.

“What? No snappy comeback?” he called out.

I wouldn’t turn around. I opened my car door and got in. As I put my key in the ignition, I looked into my rearview mirror. He was getting into his car which was parked on the corner behind me. For some reason, I had a feeling that he wasn’t going home so I did what any girl would do.  

 As he pulled out of his spot, I pulled out of mine and banged a U-turn. He went down one street, I went down the street which was parallel and cut him off. We met up on the adjoining avenue. When he saw me, he stepped on the gas and made a hard left down the next street. Oh yeah, I yelled out loud. Can’t lose me!

And as the chase continued, him trying to get away from me and me cutting him off at every turn, it suddenly occurred to me that I was running after someone who didn’t want to be caught. I was trying to catch up to someone who didn’t want me around. The revelation was mind-blowing. It was huge! I was married to someone who I loved, but who didn’t love me back. As this truth unfolded, I began to feel stupid. I felt the harshness of the realization creep into my stomach and into my head. Suddenly I felt like I didn’t belong–didn’t fit in–wasn’t wanted– and that perhaps I never was wanted. I pulled my car over to the nearest empty spot and turned it off, and just stared out the window. The only thing I could hear was the bare whisper of my own stupidity leaving my lips, Val, he doesn’t want you. Stop chasing him.

I must have sat there for fifteen minutes before I could even move. The truth was hardcore. It was devastating, but most of all, it was real. I turned on the ignition and pulled out of the spot and went home.

Sometimes the truth is the most terrifying of fears that we must face. It can break our spirits. It can be so painful. It can make us curl into fetal positions wishing we had never been born. It was that day when I learned that you can’t make someone love you when they just don’t.
Looking back, I can say that my ex-husband didn’t love me. And maybe it was all for the best. Life has a way of delivering the truth. But it’s up to us to recognize it, and to face it–to learn from it and to move on. When someone doesn’t love you, they just don’t, and nothing you could do can change it.

What Do You Say When Someone Says They Were Struck By Lightning

It was one of those instances when I actually didn’t know how to react; and if you know me, you know those instances are rare. I almost always have some type of snappy comeback or quick retort, but not this time. This time, I was silent, but most of all, I was pensive.

As we huddled near a crackling fire, listening to a story being told by my friend’s friend, we all gave each other inconspicuous glances, wondering if the story could actually be true. You see, it all began when my friend suggested that we get together after the holidays. We hadn’t seen each other since the summer, and she felt that our getting together was long overdue. So she invited us up to her cabin in Lake George, New York for a weekend of pigging-out and dishing the dirt. Little did I know what I would soon encounter. 

Anyway, after hugging each other on the front lawn of her massive lakefront property, we went into the house and got settled into our rooms. Later, after a fattening and fabulous dinner consisting of pasta, fried chicken, and dessert, we huddled around her enormous fireplace, with five bottles of red and white wine, and played catch-up with each other. That’s when Sophie, my friend’s friend, who was invited for some unknown reason, broke into a story that left each of us speechless.

It appears that Sophie was in Oklahoma, visiting her mother, when she was in the backyard picking corn. She said that the sky had turned a hazy shade of dark gray and that the wind had begun to pick up. She claimed that normally, if the weather changed suddenly the way it did that day, usually a tornado wasn’t far behind, but this was not a tornado, she said. It was a storm brewing, just a rain storm with dots of lightning. Well, anyway. She was picking her corn when a bolt of lightning crashed in the sky, leaving her no time to run. Then bam! She was hit by lightning.

We all snapped into attention and just stared into her face. I mean, what were the chances of surviving a lightning hit? So, my friend, Jayne, said to her, “Dear God! So what happened to you? Were you burned or knocked unconscious?”

We all waited to hear Sophie’s answer. Sophie said, and I quote, “I was knocked to the ground but got right up. That was it. Not a mark or blemish, nothing.”

“Nothing?” we all said at the same time.

“Not a thing,” Sophie said.

Now keep in mind that we didn’t know Sophie. She was invited by our friend, Joanna. So we glanced over to Joanna, waiting for a nod of approval, or a shoulder shrug, or something to validate her friend. But Joanna was so flabbergasted that she couldn’t respond.

Now, I ask you. What do you say to a person who says they walked away totally unscathed from being struck by lightning?

Do you call them out, or do you just politely nod, smile, and change the subject?

You Want A Little Press Action ?

I hope everyone had a great holiday. I just wanted to say that I’ll be posting a new article for the new year–hopefully for the beginning of January, 2012. Until then, I wanted to let you guys know that if you’re on Twitter, and if you post links to your blogs or to stories, or if you’re trying to promote yourself, I can help by putting your content on my ezine, MediaSnitch. It’s all for free, and you get to be on the front page if your content is good. In return, all you have to do is help promote the ezine. It helps you and it helps me.

If you’re interested, you can get me on Twitter. Just hit the Follow @Valliedee button to the right of this post. Then, send me your links. I’ll go and check it out and post it to MediaSnitch. It’s that easy.

Have a great day, and I hope to see you on Twitter.

Saying Goodbye Is Sometimes Good

I hope the closing of 2011 will be the final chapter of any unhappy events that have crossed your paths’. As many of you know, it’s been a tough year. I’ve met so many friends through WordPress and Twitter who’ve shared heartbreaking stories of how they’ve suffered either financially, physically, or mentally. Each of us try to live each day the best we can. We do what we can to get by. We give our best and hope for the best, but sometimes life doesn’t return the great reward that we seek.

I want to say that the best is what you will always do. The deeper part of you knows that you’re doing your best. You may feel undeserving, or not good enough, but I’m telling you that each human on this planet is good enough.

Life will always be about one thing; and that’s the learning of all the lessons that it teaches us. I hope that each of you will dig deep within your hearts and learn that you are magnificent beings who came to the physical plane to experience the physical world all for the purpose of your soul’s enlightenment. Each of you, no matter what stage of achievement you’ve obtained, are brilliant, capable beings who were made in God’s image. Just know this, if nothing else, that you can always count on God to get you through the day. All you have to do is ask, and then believe.

May 2012 be your year to shine; to rise above life’s atrocities and to find all the answers and desires that your heart searches for.

I wish you all the best and look forward to  sharing with you a happy, prosperous, and fun-filled new year.

Until we meet again . . . be well.

Love Val

I’m turning STUPID-EEZA

When you read this, you’re either going to laugh at me, click off this blog, or maybe unfollow me, if you happen to be following me. But here goes:

I am having trouble following you guys. Now I’m not saying that I follow EVERY blog, but I do like to reciprocate when someone follows me. I like to show my support. But every time I think I’m following someone, I find out that I’m not. I don’t know about you, but when I read a person’s blog, I click the follow button on top of the blog. OR, when I get a notification that someone’s following me, I go to their blog and follow them. BUT just now, I went to look at my list of blog followers, and those whom I follow, and there’s like nobody there.  AND I know that there are. AND I know that I’ve clicked on that follow button thingy. SO, don’t think I’m a real dummy, but can someone tell me what I’m doing wrong?

Your’s truly

Val, the metaphysical, anxiety expert who can’t figure out how to click a button.

The Rich Keep Getting Richer–and Don’t Even Get Me Started on Albert Pujols

Throughout my life, I’d always heard the expression “The rich keeping getting richer, and the poor keep getting poorer”.  And I had always bought into it.  I had always believed that this was the way of the world. Hearing my parents say the above statement, repeatedly over the years, not only made me believe that if we were poor we were going to stay poor, but that the rich were the only ones who’d continue to grow financially and stay that way. But, recently I’ve discovered that although the above statement is true in many ways, it couldn’t be the furthest from the truth. Follow me as I explain this double-edge statement.

Why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer

Here’s the deal: It’s all about belief. It’s all about the words that one uses throughout their day–and throughout their lives. It’s all about unmasking what you believe about yourself, and then retraining yourself to believe positive and constructive truths. It’s all about what we tell ourselves that will determine if we will become rich or stay poor.

So, it’s like this. The rich stay rich because they’ve conditioned themselves to believe that they will always be successful and will always have money. Therefore, thinking that they’ll always have money causes them to talk like they’ll always have money. And they’ll use positive words to express their feelings about having money. And it’s their words that paint MENTAL IMAGES which the subconscious understands, which in turn attracts more of what they’re thinking about. Remember I mentioned that thoughts are pure energy which vibrate either high or low depending on what the thought is? Remember that thoughts will attract whatever is its vibrational equivalent? Remember I said that we learn from infancy to correlate pictures with words and that our brains see pictures first; therefore, our words are turned into pictures which the subconscious reads and responds to? If our words turn into pictures then what pictures are you sending to your subconscious mind–the part of you that takes orders and then proceeds to attract them into your life?

If you’re having financial difficulties, you’re probably worried that at the end of the month, you won’t be able to make ends meet. Worrying over not making ends meet attracts more negative thinking. It’s called habitual rhythm–a term used by Napoleon Hill. Hill clearly states that not only will you attract what you think, but that our thoughts attract more thoughts. Did you know that? Ever notice that you have a thought that won’t leave your mind? You’ve been dwelling on this thought–in various forms–using multiple scenarios–and continue to think this thought for days, maybe even weeks. And it doesn’t stop. Over and over and over you have this thought. And over and over and over you play it out using different scenarios. So our thoughts not only attract and manifest what we think, they attract more of the same vibrational thoughts. And the only way to stop it, is to deliberately pay attention to it; because most of the time, it happens without our awareness. We think so quickly that half the time we don’t even know what we’re thinking. Images and ideas pop in and out of our minds in nano seconds, and if we don’t pay attention to what we let in, we could get ourselves in deep trouble.

Okay, back to the rich. The rich have thoughts of money.  Over the years, they’ve worked at becoming successful. They’ve stayed on track toward their goals, despite drawbacks and obstacles, until they reached the pinnacle of success. They knew the key to success was to never give up and to remain focused on the end result. Once they reached their level of success, and understood that never giving up was the key to it, they felt certain that they could always be successful; and therefore, success was now a word which was used often and impressed upon their minds. The more they thought about success, the more they achieved it. And the more they achieved it, the more convinced they were of always being able to achieve it. And the more convinced they were of always being able to achieve it, the more money they made and the richer they became.

Do you see the pattern? The rich think rich and they grow rich. But what happens to those who struggle financially? Is it because they think of money problems that they draw money problems to themselves? Are they thinking about being poor and therefore growing poorer by the day? Yes, they are thinking poor, and it’s because of habitual rhythm that they’ll continue to do so. 

I’m stressing this to you so that you will understand that our words affect our lives. I’m trying to make you understand how our brains work in correlation with our thoughts. This isn’t a little thing we’re talking about. This is how we exist on this planet. We, and I’m including animal life, plant life, and vegetation, are pure energy which vibrates at various levels–and this includes our thoughts and our mental communication. Therefore, if our words are sending pictures to our brains, which then gets filtered and deposited into our subconscious minds, shouldn’t we be putting better words into our thought banks? Shouldn’t we try to deliberately catch what we’re saying to ourselves so that we can change our situations and begin manifesting good things?

But how you ask? How do you stop thinking about your financial mess when you’re living it? ONE STEP AT A TIME.

I’m not going to feed you some nonsense that by thinking rich you will immediately become rich. It doesn’t work that way. You’d be lying to yourself and your subconscious would know it and give you resistance. You must approach this task in increments. It must be done with deliberate focus and intention. It starts by changing your words. Then it gradually shifts when you say nice words, and when you tell yourself that you’re  aware of the process and that you are improving your situation everyday by deliberately choosing to do so. It’s a step by step, inch by inch work-in-progress. And it’s the only way it can be done. In time, and I’m thinking thirty days of doing this non-stop, you’re going to start thinking differently. You’ll be a little more positive. You’ll be choosing your words more carefully. You’ll be alert to what you’re saying, knowing that whatever words you’re using will absolutely affect your life.

One word starts the ball rollin’. One good word. Then another. And another. The human brain creates circuits through repeated performance; in other words, it creates habits. Keep doing something for thirty days and it will begin to sink into the subconscious mind. Do it now. Do it for you. Change your words. Think kind things. You’re a great person. And you deserve the best.

One word.

One day at a time.

That’s all it takes.

I Lost Sleep Over HBO’S Boardwalk Empire

The screeching guitar is playing over in my mind. I can see the Atlantic’s waves crashing bottles of booze up against the Atlantic City shoreline. I can see his face–his bulging blue eyes darting from left to right. The music. Jimmy Darmody. Nucky Thompson. Margaret Schroeder. The blood. Dear Father, what will become of HBO’S Boardwalk Empire?

If you’ve been watching HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, the series which depicts the life of Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, the crooked, gangster treasurer who ruled Atlantic City back in the 1900s, played by none other than Steve Buscemi, then you obviously watched last night’s thrilling season finale. Okay. So why? Some one tell me why they killed-off Jimmy? I just can’t believe it. And Nucky? Did you see how he screwed-over Margaret Schroeder, played by Kelly Macdonald? Did you see what she did at the end? Nucky’s gonna be one pissed-off person when he finds out that his land was signed over to the church. Tsk, tsk.

Now, if you haven’t been watching Boardwalk Empire, then you haven’t a clue of what the show’s about. And I’m sorry that I can’t get into a full synopsis as it would take way too long. But you can go onto HBO’s site and check it out there. Wait, I’ll get you the link. Be right back. Okay, I’m back. Here’s the link. HBO OFFICIAL WEBSITE   Check it out if you have time.

So, did anyone watch it last night? Do you think Jimmy is coming back? And what’s with all this snow falling all over my blog?

Hokus Pokus–All You Have to do is Focus

Valentine deFrancis breaks down the law of attraction and explains it step by step.

Hey guys. If you’ve been following my progress on the law of attraction then you’ll want to read about today’s topic concerning focusing your attention. If you need to catch up to where we are, you can always go to the right of this post and click on the archives.

Okay, so I’m going to talk about focusing. Now I know I don’t have to go into a deep explanation of what the word focus means. We all know it means to direct our full attention to an object or to a thought or to a situation. But there’s more to the meaning of focus than meets the eye. No pun intended.

Anyway, when we focus on an object, we’re zooming in on the object, not diverting our gaze anywhere else; we’re just keeping it on that object. We’re staring at the object. We’re studying the object. We’re giving it our full attention. But if someone calls our name and we turn from the object to answer them, we’re no longer focused on that object. Right? Our attention was broken from that object, therefore, we would probably forget about the object and move on to a new thought. UNLESS the object is of the utmost importance to us . . .

Follow me on this.

Let’s say you have to go to the grocery store. You have your list made out, you know what you need, and you head out the front door to go to your car. You get in your car, turn it on, and take off. You have one thing on your mind: you have to get to the store. Your focus is directed on getting to the store because you need the items on your list.

But what happens if while driving, there’s a car accident, or you hit construction? You go around the accident or construction, and return your focus back to getting to the store. In essence, you really never lost your focus; you just had a minor distraction. Your focus on getting to the store was so strong that even though there was a distraction, you got right back on track and made your way to the store. Getting to the store was your intention, and you let nothing stand in your way of getting there; including the distractions. There wasn’t any fear of not getting to the store. You just did it.

Well, when we want to use our inherent power of the law of attraction, the key is to be focused upon the desire we wish to obtain. If your desire is to get a promotion at work, and you want it badly, you’d probably think about it all day long. And when other issues of the day got in your mind’s view, you’d deal with them, and then divert your attention back to the idea of wanting a promotion.

Through your day, in the back of your mind, your deep desire of wanting a promotion rules your thoughts. You want it. You deserve it. You need it. You’re going after it. You’re not going to stop until you get it. And when daily issues get in your way, you handle them the best you can and then return your focus on your desire. You probably didn’t know this but if you continued to keep your focus on getting a promotion for a minimum of three days, the law of attraction begins to kick in. Your deep desire combined with your ongoing thoughts about it, would bring about an opportunity that will ultimately lead you to your promotion.

What does this mean?

Your attention was diverted several times throughout the day, taking your thoughts in a different direction, but because your deep wish is to get a promotion, the thought stayed with you in the back of your mind. It never left you. When you finished with your diversion thought, you automatically went back to the promotion thought. This is called focus. Your thoughts were focused on a desire, regardless of the bumps in the road that you incurred throughout your day. With me?

Things or issues that are of the utmost importance to us will stay on our minds despite the bumps in the road. If the issues are good issues, the good issues will come to pass. You were focused on them, despite the other insignificant thoughts that wedged their way into your mind. But remember; if you’re focused on something negative, and you can’t get your focus off of it, that too will come to pass. It’s all about the focus when we’re dealing with the law of attraction. Focus is the magic element. But what happens if we deliberately want to make something happen? How do we deliberate focus on it?

Contrary to what you must be thinking right now, it’s very difficult to deliberately focus on something that you want but believe you can’t have or don’t deserve. If you believe you deserve that promotion, and your thoughts are on it constantly, it will come to pass. But if you believe in your heart that you’re not worthy of the promotion and your thoughts are positive, it won’t come to pass. Your thoughts and your desire must be in alignment with your true core beliefs.

So it’s like this. If you want to manifest a million dollars, a few things must happen. First and foremost, you have to believe in your heart that you’re worthy and deserving of it. Then you have to deliberately focus on it. Now here’s where it gets tricky. To focus on a million dollars requires a great deal of mental concentration. It’s not like that job promotion. With the job promotion, you know in your heart that you can handle it. You’re in the situation everyday. You feel it because you’re in direct contact with it. But with a million dollars, you have to use your great imagination. Since you’re not in contact with it and don’t know how it feels to have it, you have to use images and thoughts and words and focus on obtaining it in the now. It would be a breeze if you knew you had a million dollars coming to you somewhere down the road. Keeping it in your mind would then be easy because you know it’s here, somewhere in the universe. But when you want a million dollars and it isn’t here, in order for the law of attraction to deliver it to you, you must use your imagination and feel it. But how? How do you get to the point of feeling it? How can you make yourself be a part of it? Again, it’s not like the job promotion which is within your reach. So how do you keep your mind on the million dollars, feeling it, believing it will happen, without any fear of not being able to obtain it?

You have to break down your thoughts into symbols and words. Yes, people. Words. Words are the power and the key.

Stay tuned. This topic is very tricky. I’m trying to break it down using examples so that you relate to what I’m saying. Don’t worry. We’ll get there. Just stay with me.

By the way. I want to make mention of a brilliant book I read called Message of a Master. It’s here where I got the grocery store story. Read the book. It’s extremely powerful.

THOUGHTS = POWER: YOUR THOUGHTS Are the Key to Using the Law of Attraction

Valentine deFrancis’ test results have shown that every thought we have will manifest itself if focused upon for minimum of three days. Take deliberate control of your thoughts and watch your desires come to pass . . .

Hey, guys. I hope everyone had a happy and productive weekend. Before I get started, I want to thank each of you for reading my posts and emailing me your questions concerning the law of attraction. It fills me with a great sense of purpose to know that I can share my knowledge with those of you who really want to learn about your minds. That being said, I want to quickly touch base on the law of attraction and what it actually means. I’m not going to delve into this too deeply as I had written several articles about it over the last few months. If you need to, you can catch-up by scrolling through my blog archives, which are to the right of this post.

Okay. The law of attraction (which by the way is a term recently made famous by Rhonda Byrne in her mega-successful book, The Secret) is a natural phenomenon or universal law which states that like attracts the like or, what you think will attract the things you think of. As with the other universal laws, such as gravity and math, the law of attraction, or the law of creating through vibration, is something that not many people know about or give their attention to. The average person doesn’t question their physiological and mental processes. All they know is that they were born, learned to speak and walk, and grew into adults who have their own set of beliefs. They live each day without questioning why they are the way they are. They don’t give special attention to their chattering minds because their mental chatter to them was always there–always a part of them–from the moment they realized that it was there.

But! and this is where it gets a tad tricky, your thoughts aren’t just some “chattering, fleeting things” that are in your brain. In fact, they’re not your brain, despite what the majority of humans believe. So what are thoughts?

I’m going to explain what a thought is in my own words. Take note that I’m writing this in the most simplistic way I can; using rudimentary terms in order for you to understand it. It’s not that I think you’re incapable of understanding scientific jargon. It’s just that I don’t believe in writing an article using words that most people don’t use. I want you to read my work with ease. I want you to get it. I write the way I like to read; and that’s with using everyday language. Hey, we’re not all scholars ya know. Okay, so, what are thoughts?

Well, there are two kinds of thoughts. There are your conscious, chattering thoughts that you’re aware of most of the time. And then there’s your unconscious thoughts, which you’re never aware of unless you have a reason to dig them up. Before I get into each of these, I can give you the scientific and psychological definition of thought straight from Wikipedia . . .

“Thought” generally refers to any mental or intellectual activity involving an individual’s subjective consciousness. It can refer either to the act of thinking or the resulting ideas or arrangements of ideas. Similar concepts include cognition, sentience, consciousness, and imagination.[1] Because thought underlies almost all human actions and interactions, understanding its physical and metaphysical origins, processes, and effects has been a longstanding goal of many academic disciplines including, among others, biology, philosophy, psychology, and sociology.


I can explain what a thought is by using everyday examples which you’d be more apt to relate to.

First and foremost, your thoughts, conscious and unconscious, are a deeper part of you which serves the purpose of creating your outer life experience. Yep, that’s correct; cre–a–ting your outer life experience. But how do thoughts create? What do thoughts create? And when do thoughts create? Let’s begin with your conscious, everyday mind chatter. It’s like this:

The chatter that you’ve come to know, that you never question, is the very essence of being conscious. Being conscious simply means that you are alert to the world around you. From the moment you were born, you were thinking, and as you began to grow, your thinking began to include pictures and images, which were taught to you by mom and dad. They probably dangled a rubber duckie in front of your face and said, “Duckie? Say Duckie for mommy.”

Sound familiar?

So, through your growing process, words became associated with pictures; hence, when you think, you think in pictures and symbols. Now. This mind chatter, your thinking process, does its thing non-stop. Ever notice that? Ever notice that when you go to bed at night, sometimes you can’t turn off your thoughts? Well, this mind chatter or non-stop thinking is the very essence with which you make choices, take action, plan your life, and think up vengeful plots. Your thoughts are the thing inside of your being which make you, you, and which make you alive, and which make you a part of existence. Your thoughts define you because of where they lead you in life. BUT! your thoughts aren’t always right. They aren’t always nice. They aren’t always beneficial. They can be mean–spirited, negative, nasty, and damaging. But most importantly; they can be totally untrue. Yes, we have thoughts that feed into our already–untrue–beliefs that are buried into our subconscious minds. And it’s this lower mind that provokes us into action.

For those of you who don’t know what a subconscious mind is, it’s the deeper mind that regulates our entire physiological system, or in other words, our autonomic system. In other words: how does the heart know how to pump blood? How do our cuts and bruises know how to heal? How does our body know to grow hair, eliminate waste? How do we know to breathe? Our subconscious mind is in charge of all of our bodies’ functions. We never have to think about it. I mean, seriously. Could you imagine having to remember to breathe?

Our subconscious is at the steering wheel, guiding us on a deeper level; but from the beginning of our lives, it knows to take orders from the captain at the helm; from our conscious thoughts.

Let me explain: You must keep in mind that this is all happening from the time of our births. Between the age of being born to the age of seven, is the mind’s most impressionable period. It absorbs all that it sees and hears. It forms opinions and beliefs based upon what it observes from those around it. It doesn’t know the difference between right or wrong or good or bad. It just sees its caretakers, mom and dad, doing things and acting a certain way, and is picking up this information and storing it. As you get older, these things that were stored in your impressionable subconscious, cause you to act it out. And it will always have you act a certain way, depending upon what was impressed into it. As your dual mind continues to function, it will also cause you to seek out situations to validate its beliefs; meaning, if it believes that you’re a worthless bum, it will see to it that you’ll do things that will make you a failure. You may not want to believe that you want to be a failure, but if it’s stored below, you will always sabotage yourself, without fail–all from thinking negative thoughts. And these thoughts are so fleeting, yet so detrimental, that you don’t catch yourself thinking them. But you do think them. It all happens so fast, that you aren’t even aware of it. And as you think these negative things on a conscious level, (despite not catching yourself doing it) what you’re actually doing is re-affirming its importance; thus soon, you’ll be deliberately failing. As you have these fleeting negative conscious thoughts, they’re sinking down to the subconscious and saying, “Okay. I’m worthless. You heard my thoughts. I’m a failure. Now direct my actions to fail so that I can be validated as a failure.”

It’s an extremely vicious cycle. Our subconscious is where all our core beliefs about life and about ourselves are stored. And it’s these beliefs, that many times, can be nothing but lies that were generated through life experiences. Having enough of these bad life experiences made the lie your truth. I’ll give you a small example of an unconscious lie.

Let’s say that while you were growing up, you were bad in math. Your father, a CPA, and your mother, a teacher, were upset and yelled at you. They may have said, “You’re going to be a stock boy if you don’t get your math grades up.” They may have said, “You’re worthless. You’ll be a failure, like Uncle Buck.”

Hearing them tear you down makes you feel inadequate. You start to believe you can’t live up to their expectations. After enough times of hearing that you’re nothing but a failure, you begin to believe it; and therefore, you begin to act it out–with the guidance of the subconscious mind. So what happens to you after hearing this most of your young life? Well, your parents’ harmful and destructive words have embedded themselves into your thoughts; and after hearing their harmful words enough times, you consciously tell yourself that you can’t do anything right; which re-affirms what’s already stored in your subconscious mind. And as you go about your life, becoming an adult who is out in the work force, it’s this unconscious belief that you’re a complete failure that governs the direction of your life; making you take actions that will further validate that you’re a complete failure. And as you continue to fail, you consciously tell yourself that you are nothing but a failure, which is then re-affirming what the subconscious has stored, which then directs you to fail–every single time.

Ever notice that you can’t get past a certain level at your job? Or you can’t seem to get to the point of finishing something, like school, for example? You may be just at the brink of success, but then something always keeps you from succeeding? Well, it’s your subconscious beliefs, which were originally created by thoughts, that dictate what you are and what you’ll become. No matter what you tell yourself on the conscious level (your thoughts), you’ll always be directed to take action to validate the truth that’s stored in the subconscious mind. Bottom line?

If you think negative, destructive thoughts, you are confirming what is stored on an unconscious level. And since your thoughts are the captain at the helm, and since they validate what’s stored subconsciously, your subconscious will direct you to take an action that will lead you to fail. ISN’T THIS HORRIBLE? It is, but this is the way it works.

So, what’s the bottom line? The bottom line is that one must learn what their subconscious believes, so that they can change their conscious thoughts toward good thoughts, all with the hope of creating new and wonderful beliefs about themselves. Because now, here’s the kicker: thoughts, negative and positive, good or bad, fear based, anxiety based, health based, or abundance based, not only reach the subconscious mind and create more of what you’re thinking, they exude your being and go into the universe and attract its vibrational equivalent. And this is what the law of attraction is all about.

Think, and you will have.

With me so far? I’ll continue during the week. Think on this and if you have questions, you know what to do.


Kickin’ Off the Week

Uploaded from :
Image via Wikipedia

Okay, so once again, the summer is officially over. I know.  Where the heck did it go? Why is it that the winter seems so long and dreary and yet, the summer goes in the blink of an eye? To make matters worse—I was at the mall, and they’re showing not only Halloween decorations, but Christmas  ads, as well. Seriously? Did everyone lose their minds? Christmas, in the middle of August? I just can’t take it.

And speaking of not being able to take it, listen to this. A male friend of mine submitted a query to a literary agent, here in New York, and the agent rejects the query stating that “she wants to see more historical novels set in the 1800s”. Really? SHE WANTS . . .

Well, I don’t even have to tell you how that made my friend react. This friend is a fabulous writer of crime thrillers, and he can write the words off any page, for sure. But to be told that the agent wants historical? Since when do writers write solely for the agents’ tastes? What happened to writing for the people, the general population? To this agent: you’re supposed to be searching for marketable stories that the “majority” of the people want to read. It’s not about you, dear agent. It’s about what’s best for the publisher. To the publisher: please, please start taking submissions again. You’re missing out on wonderful stories that are being bypassed due to agents’ personal tastes. Moving on . . .

Did you hear about the bridge and tunnel increases? I’m sure you have. It’s was news from a few weeks’ ago. Well, I had to cross a few bridges in the last few days and do I have to tell you how much it cost? Geeze, Louise. The city is trying to kill us off. I don’t get this. Where is all the money that’s been collected from all the bridges and tunnels over the years? What the heck have “they” done with it? No one can tell me that the billions of dollars that’s been collected has gone back into the infrastructure of our metro. It cannot be possible. These bridges were supposed to collect tolls to pay back the cost of constructing them. Ah, hello? If you research this, the money collected over the years not only paid for the building of the bridges and tunnels, but was used to send shuttles to space ( just being faceticous). But you get my drift. Where’s the moolah?

Last, but not least  . . .

The president came to New Jersey to assess the damage brought upon the state by hurrican Irene. He stated that we, as a nation, will pull through this and that funds would be given to help the rebuilding of New Jersey. Now I ask: where will this money come from? He’s helping this, and helping that, yet state workers got their paychecks late because there wasn’t enough money, so we were told, to pay them on time. The elderly have been threatened that they may have their social security cut. God, we need you!! Help us.

Okay. I think I’ve said enough for one morning. I know it wasn’t so good, but hey, it’s Tuesday, and I’ve been holding in in all weekend. I’ll have better stuff for next time. Till then . . .


Step Away From the Chocolate

Various types of chocolate.
Image via Wikipedia

I had a bad week. You know those types of weeks: the ones where anything and everything can go wrong—the type of week where if you can imagine it happening, it will?  Well, for the sake of keeping this story short, I’ll just state for the record, it was a bad week.

Now, if you’re anything like me, when you’ve had a bad week, or a bad day, or are feeling down, lonely, or unappreciated, the first thing you’ll do is head over to any store, preferrably one that’s very close, and buy a bag, or box, of chocolates. For me, it has to be milk chocolate, with the exception of York peppermint patties, and it could be ANY BRAND OF CHOCOLATE. Hersheys, Godiver, doesn’t matter. In fact, let me go and get the box that I’m currently pigging out on. Be right back.

Okay, I’m back. So I was thinking. Why chocolate? Why do we go to chocolate when we need comfort? I know it tastes rich, sweet, and creamy. I know it releases endorphines, which calm us. But why do we eat so much of it? Read this to find out why.

The other day, after one of my numerous incidences, I jumped into my Mentley and headed over to Target and bought the king-size bag of York peppermint patties. I didn’t even get in my car when I ripped open the bag and popped four of them into my mouth. Talk about eyeballs rolling to the back of your head. Wooooo—wee. Those little patties are to die for. Of course, once I got home and tried to eat another one, my boyfriend came into the kitchen, watched me for several seconds, and then yelled, “Step away from the Yorks! I repeat. Step away from the Yorks!”

Damn it. Busted.

They can make a pill for every ailment. They should definitely make one for chocolate addiction.

Laughing your ass off raises your vibration

picture property of Nasa

Okay, so this is going to be a little long. But trust me. It’ll be worth it.

It’s been a while since we chatted, but I’ve been so busy writing my new novel that I just didn’t have the time to come around. And we all know that I can’t bang out quality work if I’m blogging. Or talking. Or chewing gum. Not me. I have to isolate myself until I’m done. And now that I’m done and searching for an agent, I’ve resumed my studies on the subconscious mind and metaphysics, and fine-tuned it to include the laws of attraction, the laws of energy forces, the power of positive thinking, and of course, praying and its correlation to reprogramming the subconscious. Oh, and let’s not forget tapping and doing the healing codes.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, what the heck is Val talking about? I realize that I’ve just mentioned quite a few things, but they’re extremely important things that will help you better your lives and elevate your consciousness to achieve any goal or desire that you have.

Taking this a step further—the reason I’m writing this is to clarify the term “raising your vibration”.

If you’ve been studying the law of attraction, and if you’ve been reading all the books written about it, and if you’ve been buying every audio and attending every seminar concerning it, and you still don’t understand what it means to raise your vibration in order to attract your desires, then you’ve come to the right place. I’m going to explain what the gurus didn’t. I’m going to break it down in simple terms using simple examples, and when I’m done, you’re going to say, damn, is that what it is?

Okay, so here we go. In terms that all humans can understand: to raise your vibration simply means getting in a better mood. Now you may be thinking that it’s not easy to get into a better mood. And you may be wondering what does getting in a better mood have to do with raising your vibration? And you may even be wondering, what the heck is a vibration? So I’m going to explain it in basic rudimentary terms and when I’m done, trust me, you will understand this.

So, scientists have confirmed that the universe is made of energy. This includes everything from our thoughts, to rocks, vegetation, plant life, water, the animal kingdom, and our physical bodies. After the studies were considered absolute, it was then discovered that each element of existence vibrates. Yes, vibrates. Energy not only swirls, it vibrates. And it vibrates on different levels. And science has proven that energy will attract and be drawn to other energy that vibrates on its same level. Here’s an analogy. A dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. When the whistle is blown, it vibrates between 23 and 54 Hz, too high for humans to hear. It’s out of our vibration frequency, but not for a dog, whose frequency is in tune with the frequency of the whistle.

Taking it a little further. Again, this is just an example. A magnate will attract particles that vibrate at its level; such as particles that are equal in composition and vibration. Now I know that I’m simplifying this, but it’s to get my point across. It’s weird to think of life as nothing more than a series of vibrations, but this is what it actually boils down to. If you can wrap your mind around the possibility that all of life literally vibrates, and that the vibration of energy will attract its equivalent, then you’ll get this.

Under high powered microscopes, we can see atoms vibrating; and since everything in the universe is made of atoms, everything vibrates. Why things vibrate at different levels is another story for another time. For now, let’s just stick with the fact that all of life vibrates.

If energy vibrates and attracts situations, events, and people that vibrate on its level, then the question to ask is: how can we tell what our energy vibration level is? We want to know this answer because if we’re vibrating at a low level, we’re attracting things that are matching our vibration equivalent. And I’m referring to people and situations. How can we tell what we’re attracting? Simple. Just look around you. Just look at your home life, your work life, your love life, and your finances. Most people think that life is just a series of random circumstances in which they have no control, but it’s not. There aren’t any random situations. There are no coincidences. There’s nothing that happens by chance. Everything is drawn to us through our thoughts and beliefs, which attract situations and people who are vibrating at our level of thinking. So it’s like this: Let’s say you’re in a bad mood, for whatever reason. You’re thinking miserable thoughts. You hate the world. You hate yourself. You hate your job. Life sucks. Right here in this example, you’re vibrating at a low level. Studies have shown that when you’re negative, the vibration is extremely low; therefore, you’re going to attract other negative people and situations and health issues that resonate with your energy vibration. . . even things such as car accidents. How? If you’re in your car and you’re in a bad mood, your vibration is extremely low and it’s attracting other people who are in a bad mood or who are matching your vibration. Two people in a bad mood, driving down the road, can produce an accident—without a doubt. Are you with me? You are energy, and as energy, you vibrate, and when you vibrate, the universal law of physics states that you will attract any energy matching your vibration level—good or bad. So how do we fix this? How do we raise our vibration? You’re going to shake your head when you hear this. Again—the books don’t break it down like this. The gurus omit these simple details because they want to make money. But I want to help. And when I get a revelation like this, I’m going to share it. So here we go.

The gurus say that to raise your vibration, you must meditate, do visualization exercises, or listen to stimulating music. But, if you’re in a bad mood, how do you sit down and try to get in a good mood? If you’re in a bad mood, how do you visualize being in a good mood? You can’t. Your vibration is too low. It will take too much effort and the result will be frustration. But there is something that you can do, that you’ve been doing, that will absolutely get you mentally “there”. If you want to get your vibration up, just get in a better mood. How? Listen closely. What I’m going to tell you works. I’ve done it and have beaten agoraphobia by doing it. I’ll start by giving you examples.

Let’s say that you had a date and the date went well. You really like this person and can’t wait for them to call for a second date. Every day, you wait to get this call. By the end of the week, you’re miserable. The person hasn’t called you. You’re pouting. You’re nasty to everyone. You hate the world. Basically, you’re in a bad mood. Then, out of nowhere, the phone rings and it’s him. Suddenly, like magic, you’re on top of the world. All your misery has magically disappeared, as if someone flipped a switch in your brain. To make you see a clearer picture: your sudden happy mood has instantaneously raised your vibration to a higher level, and when it’s at a higher level and stays at that level, you’ll begin to attract things that are your vibrational match. You’ll draw good things to you such as raises or promotions or you’ll make more friends or get more dates. Life suddenly seems so great, doesn’t it? All from one little phone call.
If one phone call can get you in a great mood and raise your vibration level, that means that you can do it all on your own. How? Keep reading. I’m going to give you another example so that you will completely understand where I’m going with this.

Let’s say you wake up in a bad mood. Let’s say the night before you broke up with your boyfriend or had a big fight with a friend or got hit with a big bill that needs to be paid. Whatever your reason, you’re in a really bad mood. Now, you go to work. You’re quiet. You’re nasty. You’re barking at co-workers. Then, someone enters the room and they trip and fall. Everyone around you starts to giggle. And deep in your gut it was truly funny to see this person trip and fall. You have to admit that you want to laugh. And you finally tell yourself that you’re going to laugh, despite being mad at life. And then you begin to laugh. And when you do, you’re laughing and enjoying, and your brain is doing its thing; the neurotransmitter, dopamine, is being released and good stuff begins to happen. Soon, after the laughter dies down, you find that you still have a smile on your face and now you’re mood isn’t so sullen. You feel a little better, and suddenly your problems seem small. You can handle things. Has this ever happened to you? I know it has. Here’s what happens when we laugh. Endorphins are released, which put us in a calm state of mind. Laughter is the way to raise your vibration. If you can find ways to laugh, you’re going to always raise your vibration. The more you laugh at life, the happier you are. The happier you are, the higher your vibration. The higher your vibration, the more you attract good things, and so on. It’s the only way to raise your vibration. Once you understand this and deliberately set out to get happy, you’re on your way. You can then do those visual manifestation exercises that the gurus mention. But by then, you won’t have to.

When you’re in a seriously bad mood, turn on a comedy show. Tell a friend to tell you some jokes. Try to rehash some funny incident. Before long, you’ll be laughing, and once that starts, you’ll be raising your vibration level. Check out David Hawkins, if you want to learn more about vibration levels.

You can do this. It’s not a secret. Don’t let anyone sell you a line of bs. You were made with all the right stuff. You only needed someone to point it out to you.

Mr. Editor, can I place my comma here ?

Question. And I want you to really give this fair consideration.  Why are there so many grammar rules?
I know when I speak, I pause. We all do. Now. If I want to write what I speak, I will place a comma where I would be pausing. Right? You with me so far?

I was taught that when I write, I should place a comma where I would naturally be pausing so that the reader of my writing would get the gist of my personality and intention.  Let me give you an example. Below, I’ll write two sentences.

I went to the store and I bought candy and ice cream and cake because those are my favorite things.

I went to the store, and I bought candy, and ice cream, and cake, because those are my favorite things.

The commas in the second sentence are where I would be pausing if I was telling this to you face to face.  BUT the comma before “because” is a no-no, and the reason it’s a no-no is because someone, somewhere, in some point in time said so. Who? Who made up the rules? Some of these grammar rules are so ridiculous that it’s my belief that they were created to separate the college scholars from the middle class. The scholars of yester-year wanted to feel superior and decided to make rules. Those who could follow the rules were considered intelligent, and those who didn’t were deemed “regular”.  

Here’s another question. Tell me why semi-colons and colons were created? I know the grammar books tell us why, but why? Below are examples using colons according to the grammar rules and according to the rules that should be.

My mom gave me a grocery list of: apples; oranges; pears, and milk.

My mom gave me a grocery list of apples, oranges, pears, and milk.

The second example looks fine to me. It sounds fine to me. Why the damn colon and semi colons? Because the grammar books say so. But why? Who gives a $hit about colons and semi colons? Who needs to clarify that there is a list being made and because a list is being made that it HAS to have a colon. Is anyone reading this getting my point? Why all the hard work? Why the all the confusion? What is the purpose? A person reading my way of writing the sentence gets it perfectly. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that a person reading both sentences would feel more connected with my way than the other way and that’s because the majority of humans don’t write professionally. Who gives a rat’s ass if a colon is used or if a comma is placed before the word “because”?

Here’s another crazy rule. Don’t place a comma before the word “that”.  Example below.

There are so many people in the world that it’s just become impossible to count them.

If I were telling you this to your face, and I was trying to relay my concern about over population and it’s affect on the world, my pause would be right after the word “world”, and that’s because I would be trying to express the emphasis on the second half of the sentence.

So if I wrote the sentence with a comma, There are so many people in the world, that it’s just impossible to count them, you’d know that my concern is relayed in the second half of the sentence. But that isn’t the way we’re allowed to write it. Allowed!! Do you get me? We aren’t allowed!! The grammar police say we aren’t allowed, and if we do write like the way I just did, they will ban you to the isle of STUPIDOS where you shant never write aGAINE!


And last, but certainly not least, is one of my favorite rules. Do not place a comma between a sentence that has an independent clause and a dependent clause. HUH????? Example below.

I went to the city and got lost.

A comma after the word “city” is sooo wrong that if you dare to place it there, you shall be whipped and hung out to dry. Why you ask? Because the second half of the above sentence is incomplete. It doesn’t have all the good stuff, like a noun, object, and verb—together. Yeah I know. It’s nuts.

I believe that spelling should be perfect just so we can all understand the meaning of what is being written but if I get going on spelling rules then this blog will be a book and I’m in the middle of trying to get one published well, you know . . .

Are you reading me, sweethearts?

Beyond the Valley of Death

All heads are bowed as if in silent prayer; eyes reading newspapers with headsets on—some are sleeping, others just too afraid. The humming of the massive jet engine is enough to lull me to sleep, although, dare I while up this high?

The altitude is 39,000 feet and just the thought of it, the idea of being confined, not being able to see the horizon, makes me think of coffins. I feel closed in until I glance out the window, and once I see the glory of eternity, then I remember that I can fly. I can jump from where I’m sitting and land on a cloud, and like a dancer, I can leap my way across each fluffy pillow until I get to my secret haven.

The man next to me is an accountant. His ledger paper and calculator are very busy; and he’s slouched over as he hits the keys, pausing every few seconds to push his eye glasses back up from the tip of his nose. As I watch him, I notice that he’s crossed his ankles, showing off his beige socks which doesn’t match his grey slacks. I begin to chuckle ever so quietly thinking that he needed help getting dressed this morning.

The flight attendant walks passed me again, and she turns her head from right to left, occasionally smiling when she makes eye contact with a passenger. Her head is high, and her posture perfectly aligned; she thinks she’s on the catwalk when the truth is she believes she’s nothing more than a glorified waitress.

I can’t help to think that every person on this carpet ride has one thing on their mind and that’s the glitter and gluttony of the forbidden valley. But as for me, I have two things on my mind. 

What bone curdling fear did those innocent warriors feel when their plane glided through the sky? No need for an elevator to the roof, for the towers roared and screamed, until they broke down and sobbed, collapsing to the ground. And they aren’t coming back and neither are those souls.
No need to knock on heaven’s door. It was opened and waiting for the good to die young.

The Canyon is my destination. It’s where it began. It was my connecting flight to the magnificent Seven—the truth of who I am. I was given the secret of a power who’s bigger than any powers on earth. Millions of years and many lifetimes are my destiny.  The orange and red maze of ghosts call me, saying we’re one.

From up so high, it stuns me. I never recalled anything as beguiling as this. Thousands of acres formed over billions of years, still here, to prove a point. All the departed roam this plane. The Colorado River looks like a thread snaking through this puzzle, and as I stare through my tiny window, through the clouds, the same clouds that I recall from my first pilgrimage, I know I’m home.

Eight years in the making, and my metamorphosis from death to life is a work in progress.

valentine defrancis 2011  all rights reserved.

Which Door Do You Walk Through ?

I was walking down a very deserted road. It was dark and still, and the air thick with the scent of moistened soil. The fog felt surreal, and I was alone. There wasn’t anyone to phone or to hold me as I quaked in fear.
The mist was confusing, and I squinted in order to see. My steps were small and cautioned because I was afraid that I would fall. Yet as I walked through this dreamlike state, I knew eventually, I would stumble upon it–I knew it in my gut.

The light from the lamp post shined, making the air look white, and although I was filled with uncertainty of what I’d find, I knew it was time. There was no turning back. I stood before it, my shadow tall. Before me they appeared–massive structures hovering through the universe. Two doors. Two paths to the unknown. Two decisions that would make or break my life.  They were identical. The crippling fear of the unknown was larger than life, mocking me and making me think twice.

But which door holds my life, the life that promises joy and love, and freedom from fear and doubt? Which door will redeem me for past indiscretions? Why am I so afraid to choose? What will happen to me if I’m wrong?

My hands shook uncontrollably, and my heart pounded through my chest. Each door was alluring and enticing, yet dangerous enough to cause me death. I took another step forward and then stopped. What if I was incorrect in choosing, what would happen? What would become of me? Would I end up in the pit of hell or shunned by humanity?
“Father,” I cried, louder than I had wanted. “Why am I so afraid to open either door? You offer me two, so one of them must be for the good … but which one, tell me?” 

I didn’t get an answer, so  I cried out again. “Father, what lies beyond these doors? Why must I choose life or death? Why are you making me decide? If you love me, you would just lead me–you would just tell me which way to go. You are supposed to be helping me, yet now, when I need you the most, all I can see are these two doors. There are no markings, no words of caution, just two doors that I must open. But what if I open one and it has no floor, and I fall through space and time, at speeds that will torment me as I crush in the pits of destruction?  Father please! Tell me what to do. What is this going to prove? My heart is good and my intentions are full of love. Can’t you just tell me what lies ahead?”

And then I took another step, and with trepidation, I reached for the knob that belonged to the door on the right. And I was almost there, my hand a fraction of an inch away, when I confusingly turned to look at the other door and reached for that one instead. And as I turned my head from right to left, and then from left to right, I cried at how I was so afraid to know what lied ahead. I knew I had to make the decision and quickly, because the ground that I was standing on was receding, and I could hear the mountains crumbling and smell the molten lava burning the brush, and soon I would not have the safety and security that I always knew.

The sweat was dripping down my temples, and my body trembled involuntarily as I put my hand on the knob once more. And for the last time I cried out louder than I did before and yelled, “Father, I love you. I cannot make my mind choose correctly, so I will have to go on faith. And Father, please understand that if I have chosen the wrong door, then forgive me; I only wanted to do what was right.” 

And I held onto the knob with all my might, and looked down at my feet and saw that there wasn’t a ground–nothing but light. My time had come and there was nothing I could do but walk through. And when I crossed the threshold, I opened my eyes and looked–the road was there, and I could smell the moistened grass, and I could hear the peacefulness of the sun rising and see the promise of the future. And I suddenly knew that the only thing that kept me from moving through was my own fear.

Doors are meant to be opened. Thresholds are made to be crossed. If we don’t take chances and grab every opportunity, big or small, we will never know what we are capable of. Our faith in God must be in the fact that He will never let us fall–not even in our darkest hour.

Valentine deFrancis.


He climbed the steps as if they weren’t there
Racing to get to the top
His heart was pounding
his rage blood red

He was just tipped-
A phone call
A strange voice telling him that he was a fool 
Images of her with him
Naked in bed,
Sneaking interludes
How many have there been

He knew something was wrong
She was always leaving
It didn’t feel right
It was slight

It smelled of betrayal
 He was almost at the top step of his apartment door
What would he say
Who would he blame
Insanity rushed

But did it really matter ?

His hand quaked as he reached inside his coat
Someone had to pay for the game they played
Because he’d been played by the players
slayed by the gamers

 He listened by the door and quietly sneaked in
All was dark, except for a sliver of light
Being careful not to make a sound,
Sweat beading up on his brow
mouth dry
can’t listen to another lie
There’s nothing left to deny

When you’re cold busted

The moaning grew loud as he approached the bedroom door
Rage seething
Pain from every pore
Hands shaking
no control
Sanity lost long ago
A climax of truth

now time for the unveiling
 He pushed the partially opened door and poked his head through
Too involved in the heat
They didn’t notice a thing
He stepped all the way in and cleared his throat
Her sudden astonishment was almost a joke
Then more lies
as the water began flowing
  He put his hands over his ears
didn’t want to hear her beg
Gun near his head
Muffled pleas
Her tears made no difference

He looked to the left

his robe lay on the floor

He had worn it
Adorned it
Treasure taken
Like he owned it


They’re dead

2010 ©Valentine deFrancis. All rights reserved


Is Facebook Responsible For Extra Marital Affairs?

Well, now I’ve heard it all. I’m watching Fox Five News where it’s been announced that Facebook is responsible for marriages breaking up. Now come on, guys. We all know that if someone is going to cheat, they’re going to cheat and that they don’t need the excuse that some online social site caused it. That is so ridiculous that I like to smack this person’s head for having the audacity to even make such a statement.

I know you all go to Facebook to hook-up with friends, but is Facebook taking a gun to your head to do so? Is a huge FB icon running through the streets pointing a rifle, holding people hostage until they commit the dirty deed? Really. How pathetic are people to make such a goofy claim?

Do you think that Facebook contributes to cheating?

time . . .

sands of time


What is time, really? When we sleep and go into that dark corridor  of unawareness, that lapse of consciousness that we can’t account for, it’s that place that we equate with tomorrow.

Today is here, and to dream of yesterday only brings us a moment closer to death. Time is just a stamp—nothing more, nothing less; because we can’t measure it, even with clocks, even with the appointments that we must keep; because we are forever going in and out of reality just by our constant daydreaming. Our memories serve us well. They allow us to travel back to those places where we messed up, where we fought with friends and loved ones—the people who’ve hurt us beyond repair; to those places where we once had love, where we could see ourselves back by the shimmering ocean, holding hands with the love of our lives, recounting each spoken word, and feeling the feeling that only that deep memory could bring. Time is where we could conjure up feelings that belong to another and pretend that those feelings are toward us. Time is fickle. It affords us our inspirations, giving us false hope, and then takes it away the second we turn our attention back to the now.

If we take away our sleep and remain awake, would we’d be able to say the words yesterday, today, or tomorrow?   Time is a made up event that justifies what we can’t explain, to give us the chance of changing our paths, to give us hope that there is something to cling on to. Does a person who dreams of tomorrow exist only in today? How could he? If his attention is on what he’ll achieve then he isn’t living in the now, so he must be living in the future. But one would argue that his physical body is in the present, despite that his consciousness is somewhere else. So how do we determine time when we’re constantly exploring the past and the future?

But what if we lived in a place where every single idea we had instantly manifested as an event, and what if all these ideas and dreams were just hanging out, together at once? What if our thoughts of the past, and of today, and of tomorrow manifested at the same time and suddenly everything we ever wanted and dreamed of, the good and the bad, happened right before our eyes, just waiting for us to choose which we’ll focus on first? What if that was to happen? 

Time is the place that feeds our dreams. It’s the place where we venture back, recalling moments of loved ones lost, of the laughter and joy that their precious attachment gave us. It’s a place where nobody else but you can go. Nobody can take it away from us. The young are naïve; they think of time as never ending, until time creeps up on them and makes them frightfully aware that their time is about to end. It gives the young girl visions and thrills and gives the old woman the fear of what the next day brings. Time is an enigma, elusive and unforgettable, yet tangible and scary, something we think about every second of our lives.

When will you come visit me? the mother says to her grown child. The ‘when’ is the heartbreak. It’s the thought that maybe it won’t come to pass. When will I get that raise or when will I find love? The when is the part of the equation that we fear the most, yet hold on to for dear life. It’s the ‘when’ that we live for, that we aspire to, that we won’t ever let go of.

Time makes lovers laugh, the aged cry, the hopeless beg, and the unloved wishing for just one moment of happiness. It’s a ghost of our fears and the comfort of our dreams, fleeting endlessly, to get us to create more.

Should We Listen to Jimmy Kimmel? Delete friends??

Check it out. If we all follow Jimmy’s advice on deleting friends that we personally don’t know, not only would we have no followers, we’d have no friends’ list. Do you agree with him? I happen to like Jimmy. I love his show, but concerning deleting strangers off my friend’s list, I don’t agree with him. I like knowing that we mix and mingle with each other on blogs; saying our opinions and our hellos. It’s a nice feeling. It’s what makes the world a better place. But maybe Jimmy was doing this as a promotional hype-thing . . . ya think?



 From where I am—a dimension undetectable by the human eye—I could see him perfectly. He was pacing back and forth, stopping every few seconds in front of the fireplace to rehearse what he’d say; practicing hand gestures to coordinate with his words. He kept this up—reciting his lie, until he had convinced himself that it sounded like the truth. Once confidence took over, he threw his head back and spewed a cocky grin. His facial expression had changed from pure panic to a new sense of ease and surety.

He was certain no one would ever find out.

He crossed the massive oak-paneled den to the liquor cabinet, took out a bottle of Southern Comfort, and poured a full glass—neat. He only drank it neat. He downed it in three quick gulps—like he always did—using the excuse that it was to celebrate. Only, little did he know, the drink would offer temporary comfort. One’s demise comes when they least expect it.

Miles away from Southampton, New York, Miami’s kingpin of the underground world awaited the news that would shake the history of mankind and make him ridiculously rich. His men, scattered throughout the eastern seacoast, upheld their posts and awaited their orders which would then be carried out by way of blackmail, force, and even murder. They’ll slither in the dark, like lower life forms do; unaware that their deviant acts would soon bring them the same consequences as those inflicted on their enemies. If only they understood the universal laws of karma. If only they understood they were out of time.

Over in Bayside, Queens, Officer Joseph Galante was riding his partner with enough stamina to win the Kentucky Derby. With his head buried in Melissa Torres’s neck, he rode her hard and steady, on the verge of his rush, when his cell phone went off.

“Shit,” he moaned into her neck.

“Ignore it, baby,” she breathed in his ear.

The phone was still ringing.

He pumped her faster, honing his thoughts on getting his business done and then succumbed to the uncontrollable spasms that left his body temporarily limp. When he was finally able to catch his breath, he reached his arm over to the nightstand and lifted the phone to look at the readout.

“Who was it?” Melissa breathed out.

“It’s Henders. What does he want now?”

“He probably wants to know where you are,” she said. “You’re supposed to be working, remember?”

Joey lifted himself from Melissa’s sweaty, naked body and rolled onto his back, letting out a deep sigh as his head hit the cool pillow. “I better call him before he sends the troops looking for me.”

He pushed himself from the bed and walked to the window with his phone and punched in the number.

“Yes, sir,” he said when the call was answered.

“Yes, sir, I checked it out. I’m heading back now.”

He closed the phone and then walked over to where his jacket was and shoved the phone deep into the side pocket. “I have to go. Henders is waiting for me.”

Melissa propped a pillow under her right arm and watched as he strut past her.

“Henders called you on your cell?” she asked. “Why would he do that?”

Her question caught him off guard, and his decision to not answer her led him to giving her just a shrug.

“Joe,” she said, now sitting up, “why would Henders call you on your phone? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Seeing no way out of giving her some form of an answer, he said, “I have no idea,” and proceeded toward the bathroom. But she wouldn’t let it go and pressed him again.

“Why wouldn’t he go through dispatch?” she asked.

He stopped at the bathroom door and turned to face her.

“Mel, I don’t know. Besides, if he went through dispatch, I still wouldn’t have gotten the call. I’m not in the car. Don’t worry about it. I have it covered.”

Melissa freed herself from the white tangled sheets and got out of the bed. She walked over to where Joey was standing and kissed his lips.

“You better take a shower,” she teased. “You smell like, you know, me.”

“I’m going to do that right now,” he said, giving her butt a swat. “And you better head back to your house. Okay?”

“You want me to leave like this?” she barked, gesturing to her sweaty body.

“Yes, I do. Now throw on your clothes and shower at home. I’m in a big hurry.”

With this, Melissa walked around the room gathering her things, muttering profanities under her breath. As she threw on her clothes, she couldn’t shake the thought that Joey was acting weirder than usual. She looked around the room, checking to make sure that she had everything, and then stopped at the bathroom door and poked her head through.

“Joe?” she said.

“You’re still here?” he answered.

“Yes, I’m here. Call me later?”

He turned off the shower and grabbed a towel from the rack. “Of course, sweetheart. Now go home and stop worrying.”

Not fully convinced with his answer, she blew him a kiss and headed toward the door. He turned his attention to the fogged-up bathroom mirror and began wiping the moisture away with his hand. A few seconds later, he heard the motel door slam. Satisfied that everything was moving according to schedule, he finished finger-combing his hair and then walked into the other room, took his phone from his jacket pocket, and hit the speed dial.

“She finally left,” he said into the phone.

“It took long enough,” he snapped. “Dear God, I can’t wait for all this bullshit to be over.”

“Are we going to go through this again?”Joey answered, rolling his eyes.

“Again? How much longer is this going to take? My patience is running thin.”

“Look, I’m doing my best. This isn’t easy for me. Will you just relax?”

Neilson let out a long breath and then answered him. “Any time left on the room?”

Joey looked at his watch. “About three hours, why?”

“I’m on my way.”