Master of the Realm is Free on Amazon today

I told you I’d give you a free download of Master of the Realm, and I’m a person who keeps her word. For today and tomorrow you’ll be able to download your free copy of Master of the Realm on Amazon. Consider it my late Valentine’s Day present to you

To download your copy, you can just go to Amazon. Here’s the link




Sabotage is one of those words that make most of us cringe. When I think of the word sabotage, I think of people deliberately trying to screw up my life. But then I got to learning. And when I found out that we sabotage our own lives, I thought, hmmm. I better look into this.

Most of you know that I’ve studied the subconscious mind for a gazillion years, and I continue to do so everyday. So when I delved into the Law of Attraction, the Law of Cause and Effect, and a few other universal laws, I came to validate, through these studies and through my own findings and experiences, that we DO sabotage ourselves all day long. But how?

I’m an advocate for learning about “self”. To go through life with blinders on isn’t a productive way to live. When bad situations come our way, we tend to think it’s the outside world doing something to us. We believe that the world is wrong and that people, and God, are against us. It’s never our fault; it’s always someone elses. Well guess what? It is our fault. We are the ones causing our own grief. And I realize when I say this that some of you may click off this blog because you don’t want to believe or accept that you are creating your own strife. But I’m okay with that. Because I know the truth of how the mind works, and by practicing certain principals and digging deep to find answers, I’m living proof of how we can climb the ladder of success in order to have happy lives.

You see, life is an extremely tricky and difficult existence when you stay complacent. Life can be torture if you don’t question your existence. Life can even be not worth living if we don’t challenge ourselves to find our purpose. So, how is it that we come to sabotage ourselves?

We want good things. We want money. We want love. We want health. We tell ourselves all day long that we want. So why aren’t we getting what we want? What is keeping the marvels of life at a distance?

The answer . . . our underlying beliefs.

Now, this is not a small issue. Our core beliefs are established between infancy and approxiamtely seven years of age. It’s during these critical years that our subconscious is open to full suggestion. We’re not living with defense mechanisms. We don’t have our ego-based guards up. We observe and soak up all the events and emotions of those around us. We watch them. We listen. And then we mimick. And it’s these observations which then become our realities.

If we live in a household of fighting parents who argue over money and say negative things about money, we are going to absorb this and make it our belief. If we observe our parents drinking and getting drunk, smoking or getting high, or doing other things that aren’t going to be of good service to us down the road, we’re going to take it in without question; believing that this is the way of life. As we grow up, and continue to see this behavior from our parents or surroundings, not only have we established the core belief that marriage sucks, it’s okay to smoke, only the rich get richer, money is evil, pot is okay for your health, to be drunk all day is okay if my mother or father is doing it; fighting is how to live; we will unconsciously believe it; and therefore do one of two things; live it or be so frightented by it that we go the other way. Why?

Because our subconscious is similiar to a computer. Our subconscious stores the program that runs our behavior and direction. All our early beliefs about life have been fed into it by our observations, and now, the subconscious runs this program and will continue to do so until we change the program—which may be never if we don’t learn about ourselves.

If you have a computer, you know the computer runs the software that’s been installed. And the computer doesn’t know to do anything other than run what’s been installed. We cannot change this fact; just like we cannot change how our mental computer runs its software. Right?

But what happens if we change the software on our computer? We get a different program. We get a different outcome. Whatever software we install is what the computer spits out.

So think of our core beliefs as the software which our subconscious computer runs. Our core beliefs are running all day long, and its Godly design is to seek out validation (output, manifestation) of these beliefs from the outside world—NO MATTER WHAT WE CONSCIOUSLY believe. In other words, if we’ve watched and observed our parents fighting over money, and heard them saying that money is evil and causes nothing but problems, and that only the rich get rich and life is unfair, AND then watched how they have struggled to make ends meet, more than likely we will have the core belief that money is evil. Now, if we have this core belief, and if we’ve watched our parents struggle, then we’ve made an unconscious correlation that to have money is evil and to struggle is the only way to earn a living. Now keep in mind that this IS YOUR SOFTWARE, and since it’s the subconscious’ job to seek out validation of its beliefs, it does, and it will deliver to you circumstances and situations to line up with its beliefs. Whatever its beliefs are.

So let’s say you want a job and you line up this great interview. You prepare. You’re ready. You’re going to get this job; at least that’s what you consciously tell yourself. But on the day of your interview, you’re late. On the day of the interview, you mess up. On the day of the interview, you say the wrong thing. You don’t understand how it happened. You didn’t mean to say the answers you gave. You didn’t mean to get there late. What went wrong?

You sabotaged yourself unknowingly. In your thinking, you wanted the job. In your thinking, you deserved the job; but subconsciously you didn’t believe you were worth it. Subconsciously you believed that you must struggle in order to earn a living. Subconsciously you believed that money is evil. And since the subconscious is Godly designed to deliver your beliefs by seeking out all situations and circumstances, by exuding these energy beliefs into the universe, you attract that which you subconsciously believe; no matter what you think you believe.

How do we know what we subconsciously believe? Stop what you’re doing and look around your house or apartment. Go to your window and look out. Look at your car. Do you have a car? Look at your neighborhood. Is this where you want to live. Look at your job, your friends, your relationship, your money situation. Is your life where you want it to be? Are you thin and healthy? If you answer no to these questions, despite that you want all these good things, then your core belief is that you don’t deserve these good things, for whatever reasons that were installed.

There are ways to find out what your core beliefs are. There’s muscle testing, various lines of questioning, meditation, all types of ways to find out what you really believe. Simply put, sit quietly for several minutes and when your mind is quiet ask yourself: why don’t I have money? Why is it just when I’m at the brink of success something derails me? Ask, and you will get the answers. Why will you get the answers? BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE CREATED TO DO: TO SEEK ANSWERS in order to evolve into the image you were created in.

We are made in God’s image; which simply means that we are designed by nature to have it all. We are designed by nature to seek answers. We are designed to evolve into God’s image.

So. Are you telling yourself one thing and getting something else? It’s about time to find out.

Why He Really Cheated

excerpt from Note to Self . . .

There was silence. She was giving my statement a moment of reflection. Finally she said, “Jess, I have to be honest with you. I love my kids, but sometimes I wish I never had them. I know they can take care of themselves but somewhere deep inside, I blame them for Jon leaving me.”

Hearing her say those words immediately made my analytical-therapist-self kick into gear. “Tina,” I said with an air of profundity, “your kids aren’t the reason why Jon cheated on you. I’m sure he loves the kids. You want—wait, let me correct that. You need someone to blame, and the kids seem the more logical choice. To admit to yourself that Jon left you—left Tina—is admitting that you’re fallible and human. You didn’t hold up to your end of the marital bargain. You let yourself go, and you want to blame having three babies as your reason. But what you tell yourself, delusional as it is, is something that most women tell themselves when their husbands cheat on them. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Again there was silence, and I was waiting for her to tell me to go fuck myself.

“You’re right,” she said in a softer voice. “I used the kids as an excuse to binge and not exercise. I gave my attention to them and at the end of the day, I was too freakin’ tired to fix myself up and play Stepford wife. And you know what’s really bothering me?”

“Tell me,” I said.

“What’s really bothering me is that I knew it all along. I knew that I was letting myself go. I knew that Jon was losing interest. It was obvious by the way he was acting—only I chose not to see it because seeing it meant that there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t that perfect looking girl from high school. It’s entirely . . . my . . . fault.”

She broke into a quiet sob.

“Tina,” I said, trying to calm her, “it’s not your fault. Can I tell you something?”

“Please,” she sniffled, “tell me anything, just as long as it helps my broken heart.”

“When someone cheats, it’s not you they’re cheating on. There’s something within them that’s empty and can’t be fulfilled. It may feel like it’s being done to you because you’re the one suffering the consequences of the infidelity. Those who hurt others, whether through jealous acts of vengeance or infidelities, do it because they’re hurting deep down. You have to believe me on this. I’ve studied the mind for a long time, and the people who come to me for help aren’t any different from you or me. We’re emotional beings, and when we feel unfulfilled, when we think we’re not good enough, we subconsciously seek out situations to either validate it or reject it. He cheated on you for the same reasons Kevin cheated on me. They both needed to feel young—to be validated—because deep down, they believe they’re over the hill—that they’ve lost it. We were too busy to make them feel better about themselves, so they sought out others who would.”

Her sobbing seemed to have slowed down, and she took in a long breath, as if she was giving my statement full consideration. “Dear God, Jess. What you just said, could it be true? Do people really cheat because they feel unfulfilled?”

“They do, Tina. It’s the only reason they cheat.”

**To purchase Note to Self, just go to the right of this page and click on any of the Note to Self links


Black Friday’s A-Commin’ but There’s a Better Bargain Day

An example of street markets accepting credit ...

Image via Wikipedia

In just four more days, a whirlwind of back-stabbings and deceitery is going to be in your town. It’s going to start from 12 a.m. Thanksgiving night and will end, whenever. Get your credit cards ready. On your mark, get set, GO! Black Friday is here and it’s your last chance for getting a bargain in 2011.

So, okay. I know what Black Friday stands for in the retail end of things. But remember what happened two years ago? People actually died. And I wrote about it last year, and I’m writing about it now, and in my mind I just can’t fathom why businesses don’t give these outrageous discounts all year long so that they don’t have to freak-out about being in the red come year-end. Seriously. Black Friday is such a psychological head game that I can’t believe that no one is smart enough to catch-on and  just say screw-em. But alas, there is that discount, and it’s a good discount that simply can’t be ignored. Or could it?

The lines will begin forming around one in the morning and will snake around the stores and into their parking lots. The countdown will begin and everyone will be on their toes. Hearts will pound. Adrenaline will flow. Saliva will drip.  And the beast will be ready to pounce on the poor schnook who has to open the doors. Good grief. Think about it. Great bargains. Spending money. Are we really saving? You want to know when you’re going to save money? You’ll save money in January, the day after New Year’s.

I’m not going to say anything more about Black Friday. You know the deal, or at least you think you do. But if you really want deals, New Years’ Day, kids. That’s the day. And don’t let anyone tell you different.

While you’re killing yourselves on Black Friday, I’ll be chillin’, waiting for the real bargain day of the year.

Have fun!

Step Away From the Chocolate

Various types of chocolate.

Image via Wikipedia

I had a bad week. You know those types of weeks: the ones where anything and everything can go wrong—the type of week where if you can imagine it happening, it will?  Well, for the sake of keeping this story short, I’ll just state for the record, it was a bad week.

Now, if you’re anything like me, when you’ve had a bad week, or a bad day, or are feeling down, lonely, or unappreciated, the first thing you’ll do is head over to any store, preferrably one that’s very close, and buy a bag, or box, of chocolates. For me, it has to be milk chocolate, with the exception of York peppermint patties, and it could be ANY BRAND OF CHOCOLATE. Hersheys, Godiver, doesn’t matter. In fact, let me go and get the box that I’m currently pigging out on. Be right back.

Okay, I’m back. So I was thinking. Why chocolate? Why do we go to chocolate when we need comfort? I know it tastes rich, sweet, and creamy. I know it releases endorphines, which calm us. But why do we eat so much of it? Read this to find out why.

The other day, after one of my numerous incidences, I jumped into my Mentley and headed over to Target and bought the king-size bag of York peppermint patties. I didn’t even get in my car when I ripped open the bag and popped four of them into my mouth. Talk about eyeballs rolling to the back of your head. Wooooo—wee. Those little patties are to die for. Of course, once I got home and tried to eat another one, my boyfriend came into the kitchen, watched me for several seconds, and then yelled, “Step away from the Yorks! I repeat. Step away from the Yorks!”

Damn it. Busted.

They can make a pill for every ailment. They should definitely make one for chocolate addiction.

Laughing your ass off raises your vibration

picture property of Nasa

Okay, so this is going to be a little long. But trust me. It’ll be worth it.

It’s been a while since we chatted, but I’ve been so busy writing my new novel that I just didn’t have the time to come around. And we all know that I can’t bang out quality work if I’m blogging. Or talking. Or chewing gum. Not me. I have to isolate myself until I’m done. And now that I’m done and searching for an agent, I’ve resumed my studies on the subconscious mind and metaphysics, and fine-tuned it to include the laws of attraction, the laws of energy forces, the power of positive thinking, and of course, praying and its correlation to reprogramming the subconscious. Oh, and let’s not forget tapping and doing the healing codes.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, what the heck is Val talking about? I realize that I’ve just mentioned quite a few things, but they’re extremely important things that will help you better your lives and elevate your consciousness to achieve any goal or desire that you have.

Taking this a step further—the reason I’m writing this is to clarify the term “raising your vibration”.

If you’ve been studying the law of attraction, and if you’ve been reading all the books written about it, and if you’ve been buying every audio and attending every seminar concerning it, and you still don’t understand what it means to raise your vibration in order to attract your desires, then you’ve come to the right place. I’m going to explain what the gurus didn’t. I’m going to break it down in simple terms using simple examples, and when I’m done, you’re going to say, damn, is that what it is?

Okay, so here we go. In terms that all humans can understand: to raise your vibration simply means getting in a better mood. Now you may be thinking that it’s not easy to get into a better mood. And you may be wondering what does getting in a better mood have to do with raising your vibration? And you may even be wondering, what the heck is a vibration? So I’m going to explain it in basic rudimentary terms and when I’m done, trust me, you will understand this.

So, scientists have confirmed that the universe is made of energy. This includes everything from our thoughts, to rocks, vegetation, plant life, water, the animal kingdom, and our physical bodies. After the studies were considered absolute, it was then discovered that each element of existence vibrates. Yes, vibrates. Energy not only swirls, it vibrates. And it vibrates on different levels. And science has proven that energy will attract and be drawn to other energy that vibrates on its same level. Here’s an analogy. A dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. When the whistle is blown, it vibrates between 23 and 54 Hz, too high for humans to hear. It’s out of our vibration frequency, but not for a dog, whose frequency is in tune with the frequency of the whistle.

Taking it a little further. Again, this is just an example. A magnate will attract particles that vibrate at its level; such as particles that are equal in composition and vibration. Now I know that I’m simplifying this, but it’s to get my point across. It’s weird to think of life as nothing more than a series of vibrations, but this is what it actually boils down to. If you can wrap your mind around the possibility that all of life literally vibrates, and that the vibration of energy will attract its equivalent, then you’ll get this.

Under high powered microscopes, we can see atoms vibrating; and since everything in the universe is made of atoms, everything vibrates. Why things vibrate at different levels is another story for another time. For now, let’s just stick with the fact that all of life vibrates.

If energy vibrates and attracts situations, events, and people that vibrate on its level, then the question to ask is: how can we tell what our energy vibration level is? We want to know this answer because if we’re vibrating at a low level, we’re attracting things that are matching our vibration equivalent. And I’m referring to people and situations. How can we tell what we’re attracting? Simple. Just look around you. Just look at your home life, your work life, your love life, and your finances. Most people think that life is just a series of random circumstances in which they have no control, but it’s not. There aren’t any random situations. There are no coincidences. There’s nothing that happens by chance. Everything is drawn to us through our thoughts and beliefs, which attract situations and people who are vibrating at our level of thinking. So it’s like this: Let’s say you’re in a bad mood, for whatever reason. You’re thinking miserable thoughts. You hate the world. You hate yourself. You hate your job. Life sucks. Right here in this example, you’re vibrating at a low level. Studies have shown that when you’re negative, the vibration is extremely low; therefore, you’re going to attract other negative people and situations and health issues that resonate with your energy vibration. . . even things such as car accidents. How? If you’re in your car and you’re in a bad mood, your vibration is extremely low and it’s attracting other people who are in a bad mood or who are matching your vibration. Two people in a bad mood, driving down the road, can produce an accident—without a doubt. Are you with me? You are energy, and as energy, you vibrate, and when you vibrate, the universal law of physics states that you will attract any energy matching your vibration level—good or bad. So how do we fix this? How do we raise our vibration? You’re going to shake your head when you hear this. Again—the books don’t break it down like this. The gurus omit these simple details because they want to make money. But I want to help. And when I get a revelation like this, I’m going to share it. So here we go.

The gurus say that to raise your vibration, you must meditate, do visualization exercises, or listen to stimulating music. But, if you’re in a bad mood, how do you sit down and try to get in a good mood? If you’re in a bad mood, how do you visualize being in a good mood? You can’t. Your vibration is too low. It will take too much effort and the result will be frustration. But there is something that you can do, that you’ve been doing, that will absolutely get you mentally “there”. If you want to get your vibration up, just get in a better mood. How? Listen closely. What I’m going to tell you works. I’ve done it and have beaten agoraphobia by doing it. I’ll start by giving you examples.

Let’s say that you had a date and the date went well. You really like this person and can’t wait for them to call for a second date. Every day, you wait to get this call. By the end of the week, you’re miserable. The person hasn’t called you. You’re pouting. You’re nasty to everyone. You hate the world. Basically, you’re in a bad mood. Then, out of nowhere, the phone rings and it’s him. Suddenly, like magic, you’re on top of the world. All your misery has magically disappeared, as if someone flipped a switch in your brain. To make you see a clearer picture: your sudden happy mood has instantaneously raised your vibration to a higher level, and when it’s at a higher level and stays at that level, you’ll begin to attract things that are your vibrational match. You’ll draw good things to you such as raises or promotions or you’ll make more friends or get more dates. Life suddenly seems so great, doesn’t it? All from one little phone call.
If one phone call can get you in a great mood and raise your vibration level, that means that you can do it all on your own. How? Keep reading. I’m going to give you another example so that you will completely understand where I’m going with this.

Let’s say you wake up in a bad mood. Let’s say the night before you broke up with your boyfriend or had a big fight with a friend or got hit with a big bill that needs to be paid. Whatever your reason, you’re in a really bad mood. Now, you go to work. You’re quiet. You’re nasty. You’re barking at co-workers. Then, someone enters the room and they trip and fall. Everyone around you starts to giggle. And deep in your gut it was truly funny to see this person trip and fall. You have to admit that you want to laugh. And you finally tell yourself that you’re going to laugh, despite being mad at life. And then you begin to laugh. And when you do, you’re laughing and enjoying, and your brain is doing its thing; the neurotransmitter, dopamine, is being released and good stuff begins to happen. Soon, after the laughter dies down, you find that you still have a smile on your face and now you’re mood isn’t so sullen. You feel a little better, and suddenly your problems seem small. You can handle things. Has this ever happened to you? I know it has. Here’s what happens when we laugh. Endorphins are released, which put us in a calm state of mind. Laughter is the way to raise your vibration. If you can find ways to laugh, you’re going to always raise your vibration. The more you laugh at life, the happier you are. The happier you are, the higher your vibration. The higher your vibration, the more you attract good things, and so on. It’s the only way to raise your vibration. Once you understand this and deliberately set out to get happy, you’re on your way. You can then do those visual manifestation exercises that the gurus mention. But by then, you won’t have to.

When you’re in a seriously bad mood, turn on a comedy show. Tell a friend to tell you some jokes. Try to rehash some funny incident. Before long, you’ll be laughing, and once that starts, you’ll be raising your vibration level. Check out David Hawkins, if you want to learn more about vibration levels.

You can do this. It’s not a secret. Don’t let anyone sell you a line of bs. You were made with all the right stuff. You only needed someone to point it out to you.

Beyond the Valley of Death

All heads are bowed as if in silent prayer; eyes reading newspapers with headsets on—some are sleeping, others just too afraid. The humming of the massive jet engine is enough to lull me to sleep, although, dare I while up this high?

The altitude is 39,000 feet and just the thought of it, the idea of being confined, not being able to see the horizon, makes me think of coffins. I feel closed in until I glance out the window, and once I see the glory of eternity, then I remember that I can fly. I can jump from where I’m sitting and land on a cloud, and like a dancer, I can leap my way across each fluffy pillow until I get to my secret haven.

The man next to me is an accountant. His ledger paper and calculator are very busy; and he’s slouched over as he hits the keys, pausing every few seconds to push his eye glasses back up from the tip of his nose. As I watch him, I notice that he’s crossed his ankles, showing off his beige socks which doesn’t match his grey slacks. I begin to chuckle ever so quietly thinking that he needed help getting dressed this morning.

The flight attendant walks passed me again, and she turns her head from right to left, occasionally smiling when she makes eye contact with a passenger. Her head is high, and her posture perfectly aligned; she thinks she’s on the catwalk when the truth is she believes she’s nothing more than a glorified waitress.

I can’t help to think that every person on this carpet ride has one thing on their mind and that’s the glitter and gluttony of the forbidden valley. But as for me, I have two things on my mind. 

What bone curdling fear did those innocent warriors feel when their plane glided through the sky? No need for an elevator to the roof, for the towers roared and screamed, until they broke down and sobbed, collapsing to the ground. And they aren’t coming back and neither are those souls.
No need to knock on heaven’s door. It was opened and waiting for the good to die young.

The Canyon is my destination. It’s where it began. It was my connecting flight to the magnificent Seven—the truth of who I am. I was given the secret of a power who’s bigger than any powers on earth. Millions of years and many lifetimes are my destiny.  The orange and red maze of ghosts call me, saying we’re one.

From up so high, it stuns me. I never recalled anything as beguiling as this. Thousands of acres formed over billions of years, still here, to prove a point. All the departed roam this plane. The Colorado River looks like a thread snaking through this puzzle, and as I stare through my tiny window, through the clouds, the same clouds that I recall from my first pilgrimage, I know I’m home.

Eight years in the making, and my metamorphosis from death to life is a work in progress.

valentine defrancis 2011  all rights reserved.