Cemeteries: they’re not just for dead people anymore

I was on a mission. I was out to prove, to my good friend Trini, that ghosts and spirits don’t hang out at the cemetery. I’ve been in many situations where I was in proximity to the spirits of people who had passed on, but I’ve never had it happen in a cemetery. Trini, on the other hand, was raised by an extremely superstitious grandmother who lived in the West Indies, who insisted that ghosts can only be found around their headstones. I knew she was wrong. I’ve had many experiences with the after life in my house, in hotels, and even in my car; but ironically, never by the their graves.

Anyway, it was a Thursday night, and the setting was perfect. The full moon had cast a misty, white haze around the earth, giving off just enough light to pave our way. I quietly got out of the car and walked over to the old and weather-beaten headstones, which dated back to the 1600s. Trini was still sitting in the car, too afraid to come out.

“Come on,” I whispered loudly, waving at her.

She vigorously shook her head and yelled through the closed window. “No way!”

I pulled my collar up and then folded my arms against my chest to keep warm. “Will you come on? Ghosts don’t hang out here. I’ll prove it.”

She opened the door and looked up at me. “You only telling me dat because you see dem all da time, you voodoo woman.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t see them. I only smell them. And I am not a voodoo priestess. Okay?”

“Den how do you know tings before day happen? Huh, huh?”

I let out a bored huff. “Your sarcasm is duly noted, and if you don’t get out of the car, I’ll put a spell on you.” I knew that would do it.

She quickly got out and came over to where I was. “Okay, don’t put no spell on me. Trini don’t need to be quackin’ like a duck.”

I decided to ignore her voodoo duck remark and pointed to a group of headstones that were nestled near an overgrown oak tree.

“Let’s go over there,” I said.

All I could see was the whites of her eyes. “Do we have to?”

“If I’m going to prove to you that spirits don’t hang out by their graves then yes. Come on, you big baby. How can I take pictures if I don’t go by the graves?”

“You got dat zoom ting in your camera. You can take the pictures from here.”

“No, I can’t. I have to get up closer. It’s too dark out here.”

I proceeded to walk with my camera around my neck and with Trini clutching on to the back of my jacket. As I moved, Trini moved. As I took a step with my right foot, Trini took a step with her right foot. I felt like an Abbott and Costello vaudeville act.

“Trini, can you relinquish your hold on my jacket? You’re choking me.”

“Vallie, I ain’t letting go.”

I was beginning to gag. “I’m choking. You’re going to kill me.”

“Well, we in da right place if I do.”

I yanked away from her grip. “Oh, so you’re a comedian. Well, if I die here, I’m coming back to haunt you.”

“Vallie, I sorry. I’m scared. What if we see a ghost?”

I sized her up and down. “You have nothing to worry about. They’ll never see you. You blend right in.”

Trini put her hands on her hips and cocked her head. “Woman, are you sayin’ dat Trini is black as night?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Oh. So dat’s good. The ghosts won’t see me. Day only see you? Phew. I didn’t know dat.”

I let out a deep sigh and shook my head.

I continued on, with Trini hanging on for dear life, when I saw what appeared to be a haze of white mist floating past a grave? Did I want Trini to run? No, I didn’t, but at that point, it didn’t matter. Trini saw it too.

“Dear Jesus and Mary! Lord, help us. Vallie, did you see dat?”

“See what?” I casually asked.

“Vallie, you didn’t see dat ting of white floating by? Vallie, let’s get out of here. Der are too many dead people around here, and day not happy.”

I stopped to rebuke her statement, only to have her crash right into me. “Trini, will you give me a little room?”

She stared at me, spewing Island slang through her gritted teeth.

“I don’t need no bloodclot suckin’ the life out of me,” she gushed.

“Bloodclot?” I repeated. I was trying desperately not to laugh.

“Vallie, I tink dat dare are vampires around here. Girl, we best not be messin’ wit dem.”

“Trini, get a grip. You bet me that there were ghosts in graveyards, and I brought you here to prove that there aren’t.”

“But we just saw dat white ting float by.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you what. You stand near that grave, and I’ll take a picture. Then we’ll leave. Okay? Just one picture and we’re out of here.”

I could tell that she was thinking–I could see the whites of her eyes moving back and forth. “Just one picture?” she said.

“Yep, just one.”


“Yep, I promise.”

“Okay, but let’s be quick about tit.”

I proceeded to manuever through the thick fog, mesmerized at how the moon’s glow turned the air into white streams that extended across the field. A cricket’s chirp echoed in the empty courtyard, and it made me sense how eerily quiet it was.

“Trini, you okay?” I whispered behind me.

“Vallie, let’s hurry,” she said.

“Okay, stand by the grave.”

She carefully walked to the grave while searching the air.

“Is this good?” she whispered loudly.

“A little more to your left,” I whispered back.

She inched over to her left. “How’s this?” she asked.

“A little more,” I said.

She was right next to the stone. “Is this good?”

“Yeah, that’s great. Could you rest your right hand on the top of the stone–to make it look good.”

“How’s this?” she asked.

“It’s good. Stand straight. You’re hunched over.”

“It’s dis damn bra, Vallie. I took a size smaller to hold me in. Can you tell?”

“I thought you looked smaller. That was a good idea. What brand did you buy?”

“I got me a Playtex Cross Your Heart, wireless. For big girls.”

She turned to her side to show me her profile.

“I don’t fit in Playtex bras,” I answered. “They’re uncomfortable for me?”

She waved a hand at me. “Vallie, I must have tried on a dozen bras and dis one was da only one wit support. I bought four of dem.”

“You know what brand I happen to like the best? I like Warner. Did you ever wear one?” I yelled to her.

“Ooh, girl, I love dem underpants. I just bought ten pair for seven dollars.”

I gasped. “You did? Where? I need some new underwear.”

“JCPenny. You want to go?”

“Yeah. We can go over the weekend. You doing anything?”

“Just got me some laundry but dat’s it. And maybe we can go to dat chocolate shop down on Picard? Oh, girl, I can’t wait.”

“I have a great chocolate recipe that I’m dying to try,” I said enthusiastically.

Then from nowhere, Trini belted out a roar of laughter.

“What?” I asked her.

“Vallie, tink about it. We standing in a graveyard talking about bras and chocolate.” 

I was still aiming my camera. “You see. It’s nice here. It’s really not as scary as what people make it out to be. Hold still while I take this shot.”

She smiled, showing off her big chicklit white teeth.

“Great! I got it.”

She started walking towards me. “I can’t wait to see da picture. You should put tit on your website.”

“And what would I put as the caption?”

She laughed. “I know. You can put like dem commercials do for pork.”

“For pork?” I repeated.

“Yeah, you know. You can say, ‘cemeteries, they not just for dead people anymore.”

I rolled my eyes. “Get in the car, you sick woman.”

Hokus Pokus–All You Have to do is Focus

Valentine deFrancis breaks down the law of attraction and explains it step by step.

Hey guys. If you’ve been following my progress on the law of attraction then you’ll want to read about today’s topic concerning focusing your attention. If you need to catch up to where we are, you can always go to the right of this post and click on the archives.

Okay, so I’m going to talk about focusing. Now I know I don’t have to go into a deep explanation of what the word focus means. We all know it means to direct our full attention to an object or to a thought or to a situation. But there’s more to the meaning of focus than meets the eye. No pun intended.

Anyway, when we focus on an object, we’re zooming in on the object, not diverting our gaze anywhere else; we’re just keeping it on that object. We’re staring at the object. We’re studying the object. We’re giving it our full attention. But if someone calls our name and we turn from the object to answer them, we’re no longer focused on that object. Right? Our attention was broken from that object, therefore, we would probably forget about the object and move on to a new thought. UNLESS the object is of the utmost importance to us . . .

Follow me on this.

Let’s say you have to go to the grocery store. You have your list made out, you know what you need, and you head out the front door to go to your car. You get in your car, turn it on, and take off. You have one thing on your mind: you have to get to the store. Your focus is directed on getting to the store because you need the items on your list.

But what happens if while driving, there’s a car accident, or you hit construction? You go around the accident or construction, and return your focus back to getting to the store. In essence, you really never lost your focus; you just had a minor distraction. Your focus on getting to the store was so strong that even though there was a distraction, you got right back on track and made your way to the store. Getting to the store was your intention, and you let nothing stand in your way of getting there; including the distractions. There wasn’t any fear of not getting to the store. You just did it.

Well, when we want to use our inherent power of the law of attraction, the key is to be focused upon the desire we wish to obtain. If your desire is to get a promotion at work, and you want it badly, you’d probably think about it all day long. And when other issues of the day got in your mind’s view, you’d deal with them, and then divert your attention back to the idea of wanting a promotion.

Through your day, in the back of your mind, your deep desire of wanting a promotion rules your thoughts. You want it. You deserve it. You need it. You’re going after it. You’re not going to stop until you get it. And when daily issues get in your way, you handle them the best you can and then return your focus on your desire. You probably didn’t know this but if you continued to keep your focus on getting a promotion for a minimum of three days, the law of attraction begins to kick in. Your deep desire combined with your ongoing thoughts about it, would bring about an opportunity that will ultimately lead you to your promotion.

What does this mean?

Your attention was diverted several times throughout the day, taking your thoughts in a different direction, but because your deep wish is to get a promotion, the thought stayed with you in the back of your mind. It never left you. When you finished with your diversion thought, you automatically went back to the promotion thought. This is called focus. Your thoughts were focused on a desire, regardless of the bumps in the road that you incurred throughout your day. With me?

Things or issues that are of the utmost importance to us will stay on our minds despite the bumps in the road. If the issues are good issues, the good issues will come to pass. You were focused on them, despite the other insignificant thoughts that wedged their way into your mind. But remember; if you’re focused on something negative, and you can’t get your focus off of it, that too will come to pass. It’s all about the focus when we’re dealing with the law of attraction. Focus is the magic element. But what happens if we deliberately want to make something happen? How do we deliberate focus on it?

Contrary to what you must be thinking right now, it’s very difficult to deliberately focus on something that you want but believe you can’t have or don’t deserve. If you believe you deserve that promotion, and your thoughts are on it constantly, it will come to pass. But if you believe in your heart that you’re not worthy of the promotion and your thoughts are positive, it won’t come to pass. Your thoughts and your desire must be in alignment with your true core beliefs.

So it’s like this. If you want to manifest a million dollars, a few things must happen. First and foremost, you have to believe in your heart that you’re worthy and deserving of it. Then you have to deliberately focus on it. Now here’s where it gets tricky. To focus on a million dollars requires a great deal of mental concentration. It’s not like that job promotion. With the job promotion, you know in your heart that you can handle it. You’re in the situation everyday. You feel it because you’re in direct contact with it. But with a million dollars, you have to use your great imagination. Since you’re not in contact with it and don’t know how it feels to have it, you have to use images and thoughts and words and focus on obtaining it in the now. It would be a breeze if you knew you had a million dollars coming to you somewhere down the road. Keeping it in your mind would then be easy because you know it’s here, somewhere in the universe. But when you want a million dollars and it isn’t here, in order for the law of attraction to deliver it to you, you must use your imagination and feel it. But how? How do you get to the point of feeling it? How can you make yourself be a part of it? Again, it’s not like the job promotion which is within your reach. So how do you keep your mind on the million dollars, feeling it, believing it will happen, without any fear of not being able to obtain it?

You have to break down your thoughts into symbols and words. Yes, people. Words. Words are the power and the key.

Stay tuned. This topic is very tricky. I’m trying to break it down using examples so that you relate to what I’m saying. Don’t worry. We’ll get there. Just stay with me.

By the way. I want to make mention of a brilliant book I read called Message of a Master. It’s here where I got the grocery store story. Read the book. It’s extremely powerful.

THOUGHTS = POWER: YOUR THOUGHTS Are the Key to Using the Law of Attraction

Valentine deFrancis’ test results have shown that every thought we have will manifest itself if focused upon for minimum of three days. Take deliberate control of your thoughts and watch your desires come to pass . . .

Hey, guys. I hope everyone had a happy and productive weekend. Before I get started, I want to thank each of you for reading my posts and emailing me your questions concerning the law of attraction. It fills me with a great sense of purpose to know that I can share my knowledge with those of you who really want to learn about your minds. That being said, I want to quickly touch base on the law of attraction and what it actually means. I’m not going to delve into this too deeply as I had written several articles about it over the last few months. If you need to, you can catch-up by scrolling through my blog archives, which are to the right of this post.

Okay. The law of attraction (which by the way is a term recently made famous by Rhonda Byrne in her mega-successful book, The Secret) is a natural phenomenon or universal law which states that like attracts the like or, what you think will attract the things you think of. As with the other universal laws, such as gravity and math, the law of attraction, or the law of creating through vibration, is something that not many people know about or give their attention to. The average person doesn’t question their physiological and mental processes. All they know is that they were born, learned to speak and walk, and grew into adults who have their own set of beliefs. They live each day without questioning why they are the way they are. They don’t give special attention to their chattering minds because their mental chatter to them was always there–always a part of them–from the moment they realized that it was there.

But! and this is where it gets a tad tricky, your thoughts aren’t just some “chattering, fleeting things” that are in your brain. In fact, they’re not your brain, despite what the majority of humans believe. So what are thoughts?

I’m going to explain what a thought is in my own words. Take note that I’m writing this in the most simplistic way I can; using rudimentary terms in order for you to understand it. It’s not that I think you’re incapable of understanding scientific jargon. It’s just that I don’t believe in writing an article using words that most people don’t use. I want you to read my work with ease. I want you to get it. I write the way I like to read; and that’s with using everyday language. Hey, we’re not all scholars ya know. Okay, so, what are thoughts?

Well, there are two kinds of thoughts. There are your conscious, chattering thoughts that you’re aware of most of the time. And then there’s your unconscious thoughts, which you’re never aware of unless you have a reason to dig them up. Before I get into each of these, I can give you the scientific and psychological definition of thought straight from Wikipedia . . .

“Thought” generally refers to any mental or intellectual activity involving an individual’s subjective consciousness. It can refer either to the act of thinking or the resulting ideas or arrangements of ideas. Similar concepts include cognition, sentience, consciousness, and imagination.[1] Because thought underlies almost all human actions and interactions, understanding its physical and metaphysical origins, processes, and effects has been a longstanding goal of many academic disciplines including, among others, biology, philosophy, psychology, and sociology.


I can explain what a thought is by using everyday examples which you’d be more apt to relate to.

First and foremost, your thoughts, conscious and unconscious, are a deeper part of you which serves the purpose of creating your outer life experience. Yep, that’s correct; cre–a–ting your outer life experience. But how do thoughts create? What do thoughts create? And when do thoughts create? Let’s begin with your conscious, everyday mind chatter. It’s like this:

The chatter that you’ve come to know, that you never question, is the very essence of being conscious. Being conscious simply means that you are alert to the world around you. From the moment you were born, you were thinking, and as you began to grow, your thinking began to include pictures and images, which were taught to you by mom and dad. They probably dangled a rubber duckie in front of your face and said, “Duckie? Say Duckie for mommy.”

Sound familiar?

So, through your growing process, words became associated with pictures; hence, when you think, you think in pictures and symbols. Now. This mind chatter, your thinking process, does its thing non-stop. Ever notice that? Ever notice that when you go to bed at night, sometimes you can’t turn off your thoughts? Well, this mind chatter or non-stop thinking is the very essence with which you make choices, take action, plan your life, and think up vengeful plots. Your thoughts are the thing inside of your being which make you, you, and which make you alive, and which make you a part of existence. Your thoughts define you because of where they lead you in life. BUT! your thoughts aren’t always right. They aren’t always nice. They aren’t always beneficial. They can be mean–spirited, negative, nasty, and damaging. But most importantly; they can be totally untrue. Yes, we have thoughts that feed into our already–untrue–beliefs that are buried into our subconscious minds. And it’s this lower mind that provokes us into action.

For those of you who don’t know what a subconscious mind is, it’s the deeper mind that regulates our entire physiological system, or in other words, our autonomic system. In other words: how does the heart know how to pump blood? How do our cuts and bruises know how to heal? How does our body know to grow hair, eliminate waste? How do we know to breathe? Our subconscious mind is in charge of all of our bodies’ functions. We never have to think about it. I mean, seriously. Could you imagine having to remember to breathe?

Our subconscious is at the steering wheel, guiding us on a deeper level; but from the beginning of our lives, it knows to take orders from the captain at the helm; from our conscious thoughts.

Let me explain: You must keep in mind that this is all happening from the time of our births. Between the age of being born to the age of seven, is the mind’s most impressionable period. It absorbs all that it sees and hears. It forms opinions and beliefs based upon what it observes from those around it. It doesn’t know the difference between right or wrong or good or bad. It just sees its caretakers, mom and dad, doing things and acting a certain way, and is picking up this information and storing it. As you get older, these things that were stored in your impressionable subconscious, cause you to act it out. And it will always have you act a certain way, depending upon what was impressed into it. As your dual mind continues to function, it will also cause you to seek out situations to validate its beliefs; meaning, if it believes that you’re a worthless bum, it will see to it that you’ll do things that will make you a failure. You may not want to believe that you want to be a failure, but if it’s stored below, you will always sabotage yourself, without fail–all from thinking negative thoughts. And these thoughts are so fleeting, yet so detrimental, that you don’t catch yourself thinking them. But you do think them. It all happens so fast, that you aren’t even aware of it. And as you think these negative things on a conscious level, (despite not catching yourself doing it) what you’re actually doing is re-affirming its importance; thus soon, you’ll be deliberately failing. As you have these fleeting negative conscious thoughts, they’re sinking down to the subconscious and saying, “Okay. I’m worthless. You heard my thoughts. I’m a failure. Now direct my actions to fail so that I can be validated as a failure.”

It’s an extremely vicious cycle. Our subconscious is where all our core beliefs about life and about ourselves are stored. And it’s these beliefs, that many times, can be nothing but lies that were generated through life experiences. Having enough of these bad life experiences made the lie your truth. I’ll give you a small example of an unconscious lie.

Let’s say that while you were growing up, you were bad in math. Your father, a CPA, and your mother, a teacher, were upset and yelled at you. They may have said, “You’re going to be a stock boy if you don’t get your math grades up.” They may have said, “You’re worthless. You’ll be a failure, like Uncle Buck.”

Hearing them tear you down makes you feel inadequate. You start to believe you can’t live up to their expectations. After enough times of hearing that you’re nothing but a failure, you begin to believe it; and therefore, you begin to act it out–with the guidance of the subconscious mind. So what happens to you after hearing this most of your young life? Well, your parents’ harmful and destructive words have embedded themselves into your thoughts; and after hearing their harmful words enough times, you consciously tell yourself that you can’t do anything right; which re-affirms what’s already stored in your subconscious mind. And as you go about your life, becoming an adult who is out in the work force, it’s this unconscious belief that you’re a complete failure that governs the direction of your life; making you take actions that will further validate that you’re a complete failure. And as you continue to fail, you consciously tell yourself that you are nothing but a failure, which is then re-affirming what the subconscious has stored, which then directs you to fail–every single time.

Ever notice that you can’t get past a certain level at your job? Or you can’t seem to get to the point of finishing something, like school, for example? You may be just at the brink of success, but then something always keeps you from succeeding? Well, it’s your subconscious beliefs, which were originally created by thoughts, that dictate what you are and what you’ll become. No matter what you tell yourself on the conscious level (your thoughts), you’ll always be directed to take action to validate the truth that’s stored in the subconscious mind. Bottom line?

If you think negative, destructive thoughts, you are confirming what is stored on an unconscious level. And since your thoughts are the captain at the helm, and since they validate what’s stored subconsciously, your subconscious will direct you to take an action that will lead you to fail. ISN’T THIS HORRIBLE? It is, but this is the way it works.

So, what’s the bottom line? The bottom line is that one must learn what their subconscious believes, so that they can change their conscious thoughts toward good thoughts, all with the hope of creating new and wonderful beliefs about themselves. Because now, here’s the kicker: thoughts, negative and positive, good or bad, fear based, anxiety based, health based, or abundance based, not only reach the subconscious mind and create more of what you’re thinking, they exude your being and go into the universe and attract its vibrational equivalent. And this is what the law of attraction is all about.

Think, and you will have.

With me so far? I’ll continue during the week. Think on this and if you have questions, you know what to do.


Why The Law of Attraction Isn’t Working For You

I’ve studied the mind for more than half my life, and I consider myself an expert in the field of anxiety disorders. I’ve conquered agoraphobia twice in twenty-four years with the use of my mind, and I know why our minds do what they do and how to repair the problem. So when I tried to put The Secret into use and was coming up with zero results, I had to know the reason. I prayed and meditated, and asked God to give me the reasons why it wasn’t working for me. And He did. He led me to read many books on the subject, and I now have the answers. I am going to tell you, straight-up, why The Secret, The Laws of Attraction, and any other books you’ve read haven’t worked for you. Here we go.

The reason why these books and courses haven’t worked is because they are witholding the fundamental truth. They’ve selectively omitted certain words that are crucial for the understanding of it. They haven’t used the words, SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEFS, anywhere. They haven’t stated that your core beliefs are responsible for all your manifestations. They haven’t stated that you must find out what these core beliefs are, and then change them, if you want to manifest your desires. The law of attraction is dictated by the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND ONLY THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. What this means is simple: you can consciously think positive thoughts all day long, but unless your core beliefs (your subconscious) line up with your thoughts and desires, you’re wasting your time and energy. It’s a simple fact that The Secret doesn’t exactly tell you. Yes, The Secret tells you that you have to believe in order for it to work, but it doesn’t tell you that your core beliefs are responsible for what you are manifesting. It doesn’t say that what you believe underneath is how the universal laws are governed.

Take a look at your life. If you’ve been practicing The Secret, and it’s been a few months, and you’re still broke, still over weight, still alone, then something is definitely wrong. If you’ve been thinking wonderful and positive thoughts and nothing’s happened, then you have to ask yourself why. The reason is simple. The law of attraction is a universal law that’s always perfect, either way. It doesn’t discriminate and it won’t give you an argument. If your core beliefs are negative, then you will attract just that. If they’re positive, then you’ll attract just that. This law is constant and never changing. This is how the physical world operates. Your life as you live it, right this very second, is the manifestation of what your subconscious believes. It’s what you believe about yourself and about your life that governs what you’re attracting. So if you were a heavy kid who was constantly ridiculed and made fun of, who didn’t have friends because of your weight, then I can bet that your subconscious belief about yourself is that you’re a fat, no-good loser, who will never be thin and successful. Don’t believe me? The proof is in how you’re living your life. If you’ve been practicing The Secret and still haven’t lost weight, then something is holding back the progress. Your outter life is the result of what your subconscious is dictating–EVERY TIME, EVERY DAY, ALL DAY, NO EXCEPTIONS—EVER.

Now, I know there are hundreds of books, lectures, seminars, and courses that teach the tricks of the trade to get you to manifest your desires more quickly and easily. They want you to pay big money to learn what is inherent in each of you. You each hold the knowledge and key to healing yourselves and to reaching your goals and dreams. So why are these gurus making billions of dollars? Because they know the deal and are dangling the carrot in front of your noses, desperately trying to get you to buy their products. I’m all for making money; we have to have money. But here’s what gets me: people across the world need help. We need each other. If I can help you change your life, I’m going to, without charging you. I’m a writer and I write books. Yes, I want to make money off my books. That’s my career. And if I’m writing fiction or truth, I’m giving you my all–no holds bar. But claiming that you’re trying to help people, and are only giving them PART OF THE CURE, well, to me, that’s equivelent to foreplay without the main event. We need help from people who truly want to help us. I know that these gurus want to make their money, but they should be telling you everything . . . all the words, all the key points, not just a piece of the puzzle, leaving you wondering what you’re doing wrong.

Listen, you’re not doing anything wrong. All you need to do is start digging into your life. Begin by being honest with yourself about how you really feel about life and about yourself. Write it down and really examine it. When you unmask the truths about how you feel about money, success, love, and your body, then you can begin to change these negative core beliefs with positive affirmations and meditations that will reprogram those damaging negative beliefs into constructive positive beliefs. And when you begin to change your core beliefs, which nine out of ten times aren’t true, which were planted by circumstances and good meaning parents, you can then start the process of deliberate intention of manifesting good things.

You’ve been searching for answers everywhere. You’ve spent countless hours online, looking at web sites that are trying to sell you their products. You click on the site, and then scroll through five pages of promises, only to have you hanging at the end. They don’t divulge the answers. So you buy the product and are still left with questions. Don’t you find it amazing how all these gurus are coming out of the woodwork promising you that they know what The Secret didn’t tell you? And most of these gurus were mentioned in The Secret! Why didn’t they tell us everything in the book?

Listen, please. This is coming from my heart. Deliberate manifestation will not work if what you’re wishing for is going against what you believe deep inside. I repeat: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION WILL NOT WORK, IT WILL NOT WORK, NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, IF YOUR WISHES ARE GOING AGAINST WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Laughing your ass off raises your vibration

picture property of Nasa

Okay, so this is going to be a little long. But trust me. It’ll be worth it.

It’s been a while since we chatted, but I’ve been so busy writing my new novel that I just didn’t have the time to come around. And we all know that I can’t bang out quality work if I’m blogging. Or talking. Or chewing gum. Not me. I have to isolate myself until I’m done. And now that I’m done and searching for an agent, I’ve resumed my studies on the subconscious mind and metaphysics, and fine-tuned it to include the laws of attraction, the laws of energy forces, the power of positive thinking, and of course, praying and its correlation to reprogramming the subconscious. Oh, and let’s not forget tapping and doing the healing codes.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, what the heck is Val talking about? I realize that I’ve just mentioned quite a few things, but they’re extremely important things that will help you better your lives and elevate your consciousness to achieve any goal or desire that you have.

Taking this a step further—the reason I’m writing this is to clarify the term “raising your vibration”.

If you’ve been studying the law of attraction, and if you’ve been reading all the books written about it, and if you’ve been buying every audio and attending every seminar concerning it, and you still don’t understand what it means to raise your vibration in order to attract your desires, then you’ve come to the right place. I’m going to explain what the gurus didn’t. I’m going to break it down in simple terms using simple examples, and when I’m done, you’re going to say, damn, is that what it is?

Okay, so here we go. In terms that all humans can understand: to raise your vibration simply means getting in a better mood. Now you may be thinking that it’s not easy to get into a better mood. And you may be wondering what does getting in a better mood have to do with raising your vibration? And you may even be wondering, what the heck is a vibration? So I’m going to explain it in basic rudimentary terms and when I’m done, trust me, you will understand this.

So, scientists have confirmed that the universe is made of energy. This includes everything from our thoughts, to rocks, vegetation, plant life, water, the animal kingdom, and our physical bodies. After the studies were considered absolute, it was then discovered that each element of existence vibrates. Yes, vibrates. Energy not only swirls, it vibrates. And it vibrates on different levels. And science has proven that energy will attract and be drawn to other energy that vibrates on its same level. Here’s an analogy. A dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. When the whistle is blown, it vibrates between 23 and 54 Hz, too high for humans to hear. It’s out of our vibration frequency, but not for a dog, whose frequency is in tune with the frequency of the whistle.

Taking it a little further. Again, this is just an example. A magnate will attract particles that vibrate at its level; such as particles that are equal in composition and vibration. Now I know that I’m simplifying this, but it’s to get my point across. It’s weird to think of life as nothing more than a series of vibrations, but this is what it actually boils down to. If you can wrap your mind around the possibility that all of life literally vibrates, and that the vibration of energy will attract its equivalent, then you’ll get this.

Under high powered microscopes, we can see atoms vibrating; and since everything in the universe is made of atoms, everything vibrates. Why things vibrate at different levels is another story for another time. For now, let’s just stick with the fact that all of life vibrates.

If energy vibrates and attracts situations, events, and people that vibrate on its level, then the question to ask is: how can we tell what our energy vibration level is? We want to know this answer because if we’re vibrating at a low level, we’re attracting things that are matching our vibration equivalent. And I’m referring to people and situations. How can we tell what we’re attracting? Simple. Just look around you. Just look at your home life, your work life, your love life, and your finances. Most people think that life is just a series of random circumstances in which they have no control, but it’s not. There aren’t any random situations. There are no coincidences. There’s nothing that happens by chance. Everything is drawn to us through our thoughts and beliefs, which attract situations and people who are vibrating at our level of thinking. So it’s like this: Let’s say you’re in a bad mood, for whatever reason. You’re thinking miserable thoughts. You hate the world. You hate yourself. You hate your job. Life sucks. Right here in this example, you’re vibrating at a low level. Studies have shown that when you’re negative, the vibration is extremely low; therefore, you’re going to attract other negative people and situations and health issues that resonate with your energy vibration. . . even things such as car accidents. How? If you’re in your car and you’re in a bad mood, your vibration is extremely low and it’s attracting other people who are in a bad mood or who are matching your vibration. Two people in a bad mood, driving down the road, can produce an accident—without a doubt. Are you with me? You are energy, and as energy, you vibrate, and when you vibrate, the universal law of physics states that you will attract any energy matching your vibration level—good or bad. So how do we fix this? How do we raise our vibration? You’re going to shake your head when you hear this. Again—the books don’t break it down like this. The gurus omit these simple details because they want to make money. But I want to help. And when I get a revelation like this, I’m going to share it. So here we go.

The gurus say that to raise your vibration, you must meditate, do visualization exercises, or listen to stimulating music. But, if you’re in a bad mood, how do you sit down and try to get in a good mood? If you’re in a bad mood, how do you visualize being in a good mood? You can’t. Your vibration is too low. It will take too much effort and the result will be frustration. But there is something that you can do, that you’ve been doing, that will absolutely get you mentally “there”. If you want to get your vibration up, just get in a better mood. How? Listen closely. What I’m going to tell you works. I’ve done it and have beaten agoraphobia by doing it. I’ll start by giving you examples.

Let’s say that you had a date and the date went well. You really like this person and can’t wait for them to call for a second date. Every day, you wait to get this call. By the end of the week, you’re miserable. The person hasn’t called you. You’re pouting. You’re nasty to everyone. You hate the world. Basically, you’re in a bad mood. Then, out of nowhere, the phone rings and it’s him. Suddenly, like magic, you’re on top of the world. All your misery has magically disappeared, as if someone flipped a switch in your brain. To make you see a clearer picture: your sudden happy mood has instantaneously raised your vibration to a higher level, and when it’s at a higher level and stays at that level, you’ll begin to attract things that are your vibrational match. You’ll draw good things to you such as raises or promotions or you’ll make more friends or get more dates. Life suddenly seems so great, doesn’t it? All from one little phone call.
If one phone call can get you in a great mood and raise your vibration level, that means that you can do it all on your own. How? Keep reading. I’m going to give you another example so that you will completely understand where I’m going with this.

Let’s say you wake up in a bad mood. Let’s say the night before you broke up with your boyfriend or had a big fight with a friend or got hit with a big bill that needs to be paid. Whatever your reason, you’re in a really bad mood. Now, you go to work. You’re quiet. You’re nasty. You’re barking at co-workers. Then, someone enters the room and they trip and fall. Everyone around you starts to giggle. And deep in your gut it was truly funny to see this person trip and fall. You have to admit that you want to laugh. And you finally tell yourself that you’re going to laugh, despite being mad at life. And then you begin to laugh. And when you do, you’re laughing and enjoying, and your brain is doing its thing; the neurotransmitter, dopamine, is being released and good stuff begins to happen. Soon, after the laughter dies down, you find that you still have a smile on your face and now you’re mood isn’t so sullen. You feel a little better, and suddenly your problems seem small. You can handle things. Has this ever happened to you? I know it has. Here’s what happens when we laugh. Endorphins are released, which put us in a calm state of mind. Laughter is the way to raise your vibration. If you can find ways to laugh, you’re going to always raise your vibration. The more you laugh at life, the happier you are. The happier you are, the higher your vibration. The higher your vibration, the more you attract good things, and so on. It’s the only way to raise your vibration. Once you understand this and deliberately set out to get happy, you’re on your way. You can then do those visual manifestation exercises that the gurus mention. But by then, you won’t have to.

When you’re in a seriously bad mood, turn on a comedy show. Tell a friend to tell you some jokes. Try to rehash some funny incident. Before long, you’ll be laughing, and once that starts, you’ll be raising your vibration level. Check out David Hawkins, if you want to learn more about vibration levels.

You can do this. It’s not a secret. Don’t let anyone sell you a line of bs. You were made with all the right stuff. You only needed someone to point it out to you.

Which Door Do You Walk Through ?

I was walking down a very deserted road. It was dark and still, and the air thick with the scent of moistened soil. The fog felt surreal, and I was alone. There wasn’t anyone to phone or to hold me as I quaked in fear.
The mist was confusing, and I squinted in order to see. My steps were small and cautioned because I was afraid that I would fall. Yet as I walked through this dreamlike state, I knew eventually, I would stumble upon it–I knew it in my gut.

The light from the lamp post shined, making the air look white, and although I was filled with uncertainty of what I’d find, I knew it was time. There was no turning back. I stood before it, my shadow tall. Before me they appeared–massive structures hovering through the universe. Two doors. Two paths to the unknown. Two decisions that would make or break my life.  They were identical. The crippling fear of the unknown was larger than life, mocking me and making me think twice.

But which door holds my life, the life that promises joy and love, and freedom from fear and doubt? Which door will redeem me for past indiscretions? Why am I so afraid to choose? What will happen to me if I’m wrong?

My hands shook uncontrollably, and my heart pounded through my chest. Each door was alluring and enticing, yet dangerous enough to cause me death. I took another step forward and then stopped. What if I was incorrect in choosing, what would happen? What would become of me? Would I end up in the pit of hell or shunned by humanity?
“Father,” I cried, louder than I had wanted. “Why am I so afraid to open either door? You offer me two, so one of them must be for the good … but which one, tell me?” 

I didn’t get an answer, so  I cried out again. “Father, what lies beyond these doors? Why must I choose life or death? Why are you making me decide? If you love me, you would just lead me–you would just tell me which way to go. You are supposed to be helping me, yet now, when I need you the most, all I can see are these two doors. There are no markings, no words of caution, just two doors that I must open. But what if I open one and it has no floor, and I fall through space and time, at speeds that will torment me as I crush in the pits of destruction?  Father please! Tell me what to do. What is this going to prove? My heart is good and my intentions are full of love. Can’t you just tell me what lies ahead?”

And then I took another step, and with trepidation, I reached for the knob that belonged to the door on the right. And I was almost there, my hand a fraction of an inch away, when I confusingly turned to look at the other door and reached for that one instead. And as I turned my head from right to left, and then from left to right, I cried at how I was so afraid to know what lied ahead. I knew I had to make the decision and quickly, because the ground that I was standing on was receding, and I could hear the mountains crumbling and smell the molten lava burning the brush, and soon I would not have the safety and security that I always knew.

The sweat was dripping down my temples, and my body trembled involuntarily as I put my hand on the knob once more. And for the last time I cried out louder than I did before and yelled, “Father, I love you. I cannot make my mind choose correctly, so I will have to go on faith. And Father, please understand that if I have chosen the wrong door, then forgive me; I only wanted to do what was right.” 

And I held onto the knob with all my might, and looked down at my feet and saw that there wasn’t a ground–nothing but light. My time had come and there was nothing I could do but walk through. And when I crossed the threshold, I opened my eyes and looked–the road was there, and I could smell the moistened grass, and I could hear the peacefulness of the sun rising and see the promise of the future. And I suddenly knew that the only thing that kept me from moving through was my own fear.

Doors are meant to be opened. Thresholds are made to be crossed. If we don’t take chances and grab every opportunity, big or small, we will never know what we are capable of. Our faith in God must be in the fact that He will never let us fall–not even in our darkest hour.

Valentine deFrancis.

The Top 5 Reasons Why People Lie

Okay. So why the list? I think it’s been on my mind lately; not because I’m a liar and I have a need to purge my guilt, but because I’ve been studying people’s actions and came upon these conclusions. We all have lied at some point in our lives, and I can only assume that most of us will continue to do so—for whatever reasons. But why?

After sitting on the beach this weekend, staring into the silvery light of the Atlantic Ocean, with the clouds blending slowly, and the peace of my own mind comforting me, I had a thought. Thoughts that come upon us while in deep reflection, usually surface for a reason;  maybe to help with inner conflict or maybe to help someone else. So, without further ado, here’s my list of reasons for why people lie. See if you fit one or all of these descriptions. I know I have . . . at various times in my life.

Reason One  A friend, relative, or co-worker asks you how they look, and you don’t have the heart to hurt their feelings. Now, if I can say something here. Not wanting to hurt a person’s feelings is an admirable quality. It is. That means that you have a heart. But what if this person asks you a question because they value and treasure your opinion? Sticky, right? Well, here’s what I’ve begun doing several years ago when I made the decision that lying went against my beliefs. I decided to be tactful in telling the truth. There’s a way to handle telling a person the truth without being cruel. Of course, the person may still get offended, but hey, you can’t live your life tiptoeing around everyone’s fragile ego, right? If a person wants your honest opinion, then by golly, you have to give it to them. Just use some tact when doing so. Here’s an example:

Sally says to her best friend, “I just love this red skirt. Does it make my ass look too big?”
Now, you know damn well that the skirt looks horrendous on Sally. Not only does it make her ass look fat, it makes her ass look like the surface of the moon. So how do you handle telling her the truth? Maybe you could say something like this: “I love the skirt, but you know, I don’t think it does your figure any justice. Red isn’t the color that makes you shine. How about black? You look great in black.”
I know it’s skirting the truth, but you answered her, didn’t you? I don’t think she’d really want to hear how fat her ass is. Of course, if she looks you dead in the eye and says, “I don’t believe you. Tell me the truth, you’re my best friend,” well, you have to tell her, but you can do it carefully. You can say, “Well, maybe the skirt is a little too tight?” and then wince.

Reason Two You’re invited to a party, an affair, or some kind of gathering and you don’t feel like going. There could be many reasons for not wanting to go. Now, here’s where it gets iffy. If you know the person very well and you still don’t want to go, then you should offer the reason. But if your reason for not wanting to go is because you find this person, and her friends, boring, then what do you say? Do you say you have other plans? Do you call at the last minute and say that your aunt suddenly died? What do you do? I’ve found that asking the person if I could let them know, works out well. When they ask me why, I simply tell them that I’m not big on parties and that I would like to give it thought. It’s the truth and it shows the inviter that I’m being sincere. It’s better than calling five minutes before the gathering and saying that Rover ate the tires on my car.

Reason Three  You see someone whom you’re attracted to . . . and you’re either married or in a relationship. You’re so attracted to them that you begin the flirting game. Before you know it, you’re making a date with this person. You begin sneaking around and lying to your significant other. But why are you doing this? And why the lies? By lying in a situation like this, it says one or several things: that you want your cake and eat it too; you want to see if there’s anything better and if there is, you’re going to drop the bomb on your significant other; you’re afraid of telling your partner the truth for fear that they’ll leave you and then get a lawyer. There’s many reasons for lying when you’re in a situation like this, but the main reason is fear. But fear of what, is what you have to ask yourself?

Reason Four  People have low self-esteem and want to impress others. Now this is up-there in the lying chain. Let’s be honest. How many times have you felt the need to exaggerate, just a little, your life’s journey to others? You get in a group of successful people and suddenly you feel like a failure. So when asked about your profession, instead of telling them that you’re a shoe salesman in Macy’s, you say that you’re the manager in the entire men’s department. Um, just a widdle, iddy, biddy lie, eh? But seriously, I think we’ve all done this OR we may have avoided answering the question all together . . . WHICH may be better than lying. Then again, what’s wrong with saying the truth? What happens to our egos when we come face-to-face with humiliation? Think about it.

Reason Five  We’re afraid of someone’s reaction—to ANYTHING. I think this is the granddaddy of the list. If you’re lying about everything, then it’s time for the couch. Seriously.  I’ll elaborate on this.

The premise behind lying, about anything, is fear. There isn’t any other reason. The fear of another person’s reaction is what drives people to lie. The fear of the consequences for their actions makes them lie. It’s always fear that causes a person to say an untruth. Don’t let yourself believe anything else. When you lie to someone, it’s because telling them the truth will either get you in trouble or get you in jail OR you’ll have someone mad at you or you’ll have something taken away from you. Lying is the biggest symptom of fear and the worst part about it is that we lie to cover up for our insecurities. Think about that one and ask yourself, why do I lie?

Hitting Rock Bottom

I believe that there is one commonality that every human shares and that’s the need to know why we’re here. Throughout the history of man, the search to find the truth about God and about life after death has been never-ending. Our need to connect to our divine source is inherent. God wants us to learn about Him through physical human experiences. He created man in His image so that man could step outside of his natural state of spirit and experience the elements of which He is made.

In our natural state of spirit, we’re non-physical; therefore, we’re unable to experience physical negativity–we’re detached. But despite being in this spirit state, we’re also not complete. We’ve yet to evolve to our full enlightenment. In spirit state, and what I mean by spirit state is what we become after we die, we may not have earthly worries, but our goal is to create new realities so that we can experience new possibilties so that we can learn new lessons . . . to arrive at new answers. As spirit, we need to actualize our consciousness. It’s what we are. It’s how we were created. Therefore, to continue evolving, we must keep coming back to the physical world to learn new lessons.

So why did God make it this way? I can only speculate that He wants it this way because He created balance. Living in this world has taught us that there is a positive and a negative to every element of creation. Having said that, if we are to experience all of life, the sorrow, the pain, and the joy, then these aspects must be a part of who our divine source is. Again, I can only speculate that these are the reasons.

In my search for the truth about God, I’ve uncovered a perception that suits my comprehension. I believe that we were created in spirit and lived many physical lives. We may have had a different human form for each life we lived, but it’s one soul which has lived all of these lives and who returns to source when that life is over. So if this is the case, then for each life we have there must be a way to connect to God. It’s innate, and it lies under layers of consciousness. It’s there to be called upon—-to be tapped into. And the way to do it is through praying and meditating. The greatest thinkers and researchers can’t be wrong. The Bible can’t be wrong. I can’t be wrong. I’v experienced God first hand; therefore, I can’t be anything but certain. But many people haven’t experienced God. They talk about God; they talk about spiritualism and how they believe, but are they really connected?

When you’re connected to God there’s a feeling in your gut that is similar to confidence. You feel happy. You feel right. You’re unstoppable because you know there’s a purpose. Your state of mind is clear and you have a positive attitude. You smile and feel more at ease. You’re quick to overlook the ignorance of others and you understand that life isn’t all about you. You have empathy and compassion. But what happens when you’re not in sync with God?

Hitting rock bottom is when you’re in total discord with who you are; it’s like having your connection to God severed. Having every facet of your life turn against you simply means that you are apart from your divine source. Losing your job, your spouse, your material possessions, your zest for life, and your mental and physical well being is the result of being unconnected to God. Yet, for many, as these avalanches of mishaps take place, we still don’t realize that it’s happening because of our separation from God. We’re quick to blame others. We’re quick to blame society. But the truth is it’s our negative thinking and our negative core beliefs that put us at the rock bottom level. When our negative thinking gets out of control, our lives get out of control; we feel helpless and powerless.

Did you ever notice that those of us who hit rock bottom suddenly call on God for help? I find it hypocritical that the one thing we suddenly reach for when we’re desperate is the same one thing that we’ve shunned when the going was good. What a coincidence, isn’t it? So what does that say? It says that we will surrender to God at some point in our lives. Do you think that He didn’t know what he was doing when He made us this way? Please . . . get real. God is ever knowing and way smarter than you or I will ever be.

I connect to God every day. I make it a point to take time out to talk to Him. I do it for many reasons, but the main reason I do it is because when I do it, I feel so much better. If I’m having a real crappy day–a day where I’m doubtful and sad–I start talking to Him and then the next thing I know, I’m feeling so much better. It’s hard to explain. I only know that I feel like a load has been lifted. I can wake up each day knowing that I can turn inward to my divine source and get relief. I can get comfort. To me, that’s the best deal around. And it doesn’t cost a cent. It’s for free.

I know rock bottom. Been there—done that—and wrote the book. Trust me on this one. There’s only one way to go when you’re this low, and all you have to do is grab onto His hand.

I Lived Two Centuries Ago

I could see from where I was standing that the sun was just peeking over the water’s horizon. It looked as though a blaze of orange was emerging from the ocean; almost as if God was pulling it up by invisible strings. 
The smell of the salty, warm sea air, as I breathed in deeply, reminded me of when I was a little girl, when my family used to have picnics on the shores of Long Island. No memory could compare to those days of freedom; nothing could come close to the feeling of the security that I felt when I was with my mother and father. 

I poured myself a cup of freshly brewed coffee, and let the screen door slam behind me as I proceeded to walk onto the beach. There wasn’t anyone around but me; the silence was welcomed, even in spite of the ocean’s roar. It was as if it was saying something to me; taunting me with each rush it made to the shoreline. I took a sip of my coffee and reveled in its hazelnut sweetness, and thanked God to be having the experience that I was having at that precise moment.

The sky was violet; I say violet to emphasize the clarity of its blueness. White formations floated above, making me think that something as beautiful as this could only be appreciated when you appreciate life—when you step away and let yourself be. My dreams are like the clouds—forever and ethereal, and they remind me that I am more than this space that I occupy.

Closing my eyes, and letting myself be, allows me to align with Him; my thoughts are of pureness and deep revelation; a contentment which goes deeper than any gratification could offer. It’s a freedom from this world. It’s a flight of my senses that goes beyond fleshly recognition.

I began to walk; my feet sinking deeply with each step I took. Seashells stared up at me, begging for my attention. The tiny, white ones were the ones that I picked up because the sun had made them glisten, like tiny diamonds. Nowhere in my world is there a place as perfect as this. A lifetime ago made itself known, just as it always does. The memory never leaves me when I set my imagination and soul free from these prison walls called now. 

A black and yellow butterfly graciously floats past me, and then lands on the sand a few feet ahead. And as I get closer to it, it lifts off in slow motion and gently brushes against my arm. Seagulls fly above; their cries bring me back to that time, and again, I can’t remember when that was. I only know that I was there and that I would never forget it.

My soul will never be complete. It hungers for yesterday and begs for tomorrow. It searches for newness, yet seeks the comfort of familiarity. Gin Lane is where I once lived over two centuries ago.


This is a MUST, if you want to get your health back

Forgiving isn’t easy. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest things to do. When someone has lashed out at us, or betrayed us, we get this anger that rushes through our bodies and into our heads, and the first thing we think is that we’ll never talk to that person again. Isn’t that the truth? So we harbor this resentment, and keep our anger towards this person in the forefront of our minds; after all, we have the right to be pissed at this person, and we have every right to show it. Don’t we? How dare they betray us! How dare they say those horrible things! We’re going to stay mad at them, and we’re not giving in. And we’re going to tell everyone we know about what this person had done to us and how they’ve ruined our lives. And we’re going to let it fester, and bubble, and grow, until it’s the biggest event since the birth of Jesus. AND WE WON’T CAVE! WE HAVE OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO STAY PISSED.
I know that anyone reading this has been there and done that. So here’s the deal. I’m going to break this down and hopefully dissect this so that you can understand why forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself. Yes, for you–not for the person who has hurt you.

I always thought that forgiving someone would let the other person off the hook–that the person would think that whatever they had done was no big deal and that they had gotten away with hurting me. And this was my belief for most of my life. And when someone hurt me, I kept that anger alive and held onto it for years. But several years ago, when my connection to the other side was made, I was shown the truth about what happens to our minds, bodies, and to our lives when we don’t forgive.
Anger serves a purpose. It tells us that we’re off track with who we are. It tells us that someone invaded our right to be right. It tells us that someone humiliated us–disregarded our feelings–without caring. But why do we get so angry? Cheating, abandonment, and betrayals are big offenses towards the ego. When it happens to us, we’re crushed. And we’re supposed to feel the anger. Our anger was given to us as a guide. We’re supposed to acknowledge it, question why we’re so offended and hurt, and then let it go. But why?

Anger means that someone stepped into our egotistical space and challenged us. If you’ve studied the ego, you’ll learn that our ego wants to play the role of God, here on earth. It believes that it has full control. But it’s a facade. Ego is a defense mechanism, and according to the way we were raised and according to our core beliefs, the ego’s job is to protect our beliefs—regardless if our beliefs are on or off the actual truth. So when someone invades our ego’s space and does something that we have no control over, we torment ourselves because we can’t believe that we weren’t clever enough or intelligent enough to catch-on to the betrayal. We can’t get over the idea that another person would think that we weren’t good enough. But here’s the catch. Now listen very carefully. When someone does something to hurt you, it’s not you who they are attacking. It’s not about you–ever. They are thinking of themselves and what’s good for them. It’s their ego that is feeling crushed or bruised, and so, they will do whatever they have to do to repair it; and nine times out of ten that means seeking immediate gratification to boost the way they feel, regardless of who they’re hurting. It’s not about you. It’s never about you. It’s always about the other person. So it’s like a chain reaction. Each human is out for themselves. Yes! It’s a fact. No matter how you slice and dice it, the bottom line is that each human puts their needs first. They have to. It’s the way the physical world was created.

Now, when we don’t forgive, it affect our bodies and our minds. It causes mental and physical ailments. It’s been proven. Anger causes heart attacks, cancers, back aches, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and the list is endless. So listen. If you understand what anger does to you, why keep it? You want to feel good every day of your life. You want to be happy and healthy. You want to live your one life the way it was meant to live. You come first in the eye of God. It’s your God-given birth right to create a spectacular life for yourself by learning about who you are and how you can pick and choose what’s best for you. Listen up. You can choose to not let someone’s betrayal affect you. It’s a choice. And it’s a great thing to be able to choose to let it go or not let it go. By letting it go, and understanding that people are people doing whatever they have to do to get through the day, then you’ll understand that it’s never about you. It’s always about them. And if you really think about it, even you do what you have to do–every single time. You may think that you’re being unselfish by putting someone’s needs first, but deep down, you’re putting someone’s needs first because you want them to like you. This is deep. This is huge. This is worth learning and accepting. When you learn about who you are and why you are and why you’re here, you can learn to forgive. Let the anger go. It’s never really about you. It may seem that it is, but it’s the other person’s insecurities than drive them to do what they do. You were just in the way of the bullet. Let it go. Look to God and He’ll show you the way. I swear this to you. Dissect your anger and learn the reason why you’re really mad and then ask God to help you. Do it for you, because you come first, and because you’re worth it.

Read Master of the Realm if you want to read a story of hurts and betrayals. If I can forgive, you can forgive.