I may not be many things, but the one thing that I am is an expert when it comes to the topic of mommas’ boys. I should know. I married one. So what makes a momma’s boy a momma’s boy?
When you date and then marry a momma’s boy what you are actually doing is battling it out for first place in your man’s life. A mother who has pampered and babied and spoiled her son will be a very hard act to follow. Naturally, the son will have extremely high standards because of this, and any woman who comes into his life will probably never measure up to his expectations of how a woman should be. And let me be really clear about this. His mother was no dummy when she implemented these ideas. She was making sure that she would always be number one.
It’s my belief that when a mother spoils her son, she does so deliberately, setting her territorial rights to him. She wants to instill a belief that she simply cannot be replaced–ever!
From the time he’s brought into this world, she does everything for him, practically rendering him helpless. She makes sure that he turns into a whiny, pathetic, cry baby, who runs to her when life isn’t going his way. I may sound a bit harsh, but I’m just being honest. Anyone who is dating or married to this type of guy knows that I’m speaking the truth.
So let’s say you’re dating a momma’s boy. The first thing that will happen is that he’s going to compare the way you look to the way his mother looks. He won’t mean to do this–it’s a subconscious thing. And if you cook a meal for him, just know that it will never be as good as his mother’s. Oh, it will come in at a close second, but have no worries. He’ll tell you to come by the house so you can get a few tips from her. But wait. Here comes the good stuff.
When you live with a momma’s boy, you can usually expect that he won’t lift a finger to help. He’ll throw his clothes on the floor, leave dishes in the sink, and expect all his meals to be served to him, just the way his momma always did for him. You’ll have to iron his shirts because his mother did. And you’ll have to make meatloaf the way his momma does. And there won’t be one thing that you will do that won’t be compared to the way his mother does it. And here’s the big one. If the momma doesn’t like you, you’re pretty much history.
When I was 22, I married a guy who wouldn’t let go of his mother’s apron strings, and as a result, the marriage suffered. No matter what I did, I was constantly being compared to her. I was # 2, never quite measuring up to the way she did things. I was always one card short of a full deck. And that one card that she had that I didn’t have was her trump card–the “you’re my baby boy” card.
She was clever and knew how to work it. I have to say that in spite of how she ruined him, we became close. Oh, it was a huge struggle for the first few years, but she resigned to the fact that he married me, and I resigned to the fact that I would never be number one in his life. That’s probably why I divorced him.
Living with a momma’s boy is a no win situation. But hey. If you’re comfortable being in second place, then go for it.