Fridays and Have people lost their ever-lovin’ minds ?

People. I gotta tell ya. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be able to relate to this little beaut. For the last few months, I’ve been apartment hunting. At first, I was going to relocate outwest to Boulder City, Nevada. The housing issue in Vegas and Boulder is frightening. Half of Vegas and Boulder are in foreclosure, which is good news for me. I can buy a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house for under $300,000. Now for some of you who live in other areas of the United States of confusion, this may appear to be staggering. But for this New Yorker, the price is just right. Here in New York, you can’t buy a gallon of milk for under $3.89, yet alone buy a house for $300,000. So Vegas seemed like a plan. Well, just when I was getting all warm and cozy with the idea of moving across the country, life happened, and I had to put my Vegas dream on hold; which meant that I had to stay in New York for a while longer.
Which led me to my apartment search . . . *deep sigh*

Okay. So I said to my boyfriend one morning, “If I can’t live in Vegas, then I want to live out in Long Island.”
He was on his way out the door to go to work. “Whatever you want. Make it happen,” he yelled back.
 
 
 Now ladies. When a guy gives you carte blanche to do whatever you feel like doing, you’re going to take full advantage of it, right? So I got on it. I started with Craigslist. I know, you don’t have to tell me.

The apartments that I clicked on had photos. Many of the ads stated that their apartments were gorgeous, roomy, light and airy, but more importantly, all-inclusive. What’s all-inclusive, you ask? All-inclusive means that the rent includes gas, electric, cable, and sometimes internet. Sounds too good to be true, right? You bet your damn bootie that it’s too good to be true. Because that all-inclusive one bedroom apartment for $1350 is in a basement. Yep. A basement. An underground coffin. A musty, moldy pit with no windows, where Neanderthals and their kids stomp above your head with no regard of the time or that you’re underneath them. What nerve! Have you ever heard of the expression “Another man’s garbage is another man’s treasure”? Well talk about garbage! These trashy apartments give that expression a whole new meaning.

How dare they say that the apartment is light and airy. How dare they say gorgeous. But what really gets my blood boiling is how dare they say all-inclusive. Do you want to know why these apartments are all-inclusive? Because the apartments are illegal, and the homeowners don’t want to go through the red tape and expense of making their one family home a legal two family home. Furthermore, to re-do the plumbing and electrical work would require plenty of labor and quite a bit of money. Why should they bother when they can rent it without telling Uncle Sammy? Hense, the high rent to cover the tenant’s usage of utilities. Do they think we are stupid? I will not give anyone $1350 for three tiny rooms in a basement of an illegal apartment. They can kiss my apartment-hunting New York ass.

And speaking of asses . . .

I was in Home Depot yesterday waiting for my paint to be mixed, when a guy came over to the paint department to buy supplies. I had my eye on him because, well, I had nothing better to do. I continued to watch him as he bent over to retrieve an item from the bottom shelf. And that’s when I saw it. It was gross. It was obscene, but worst of all, it was hairy.  And I couldn’t turn away. It was almost like watching a train wreck–awful, yet intriguing.

Guys, please. For the love of God. Will you pull your damn pants up before you bend over. No one wants to see your ass crack. Gee-sus.

People, have you lost your ever-lovin’ minds?

Okay, so here’s my tip of the day.

Sorry guys, but this is strictly for you. Either get clothes that fit you properly, lose some weight, pull your damn pants up to where they belong, or shave your ass.

And this is for everyone. Remember. Be careful what you’re looking for. You just may find it.

Okay. Gotta run. Seeya next time.

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6 thoughts on “Fridays and Have people lost their ever-lovin’ minds ?

  1. well…umm…ok….i agree with most…but,i think guys should shave their asses,and find clothes that fit…not one or the other…both!!! i went thru the same thing in house hunting as you have in apartment hunting…i spent months looking,and driving,and looking and driving…my kids were doing their homework in the car,eating fast food dinner in the car…and a short version of the worst “house” i saw was this.the add said it had everything i was looking for,and with all my kids,that was wonderful,the price was great,it wasnt to far from our present home,just right for wes and his job…the school system was perfect…i knew i ahd to jump on this asap,it would certainly go fast…wes leaves work early meets me in town,follows me thru hellacious traffic…get to the “home”…and it wasnt fit to put a tractor in for shelter…i called the realtor,and let that man have it!!! all that time and wes lost time at work,my hopes were up…for nothing!!!! the good thing is this val…i finally found the perfect home for us…enough space,fenced yard,3 bathrooms,5 bedrooms,and the price was mroe than perfect…i love this word press thing you are doing…
    great blog,
    kelli~

  2. On the men’s issue all I can add is an AMEN! lol. We are completely remodeling our house (knocking down walls, adding on … a huge mess. and being on oxygen it doesnt help). Now that we’ve started.. its a project we need to see thru… BUT I do believe that w/ both of our health Jer is ready to move to AZ. or Nev. Only to see AZ is ready to file bankruptcy… we have family in Glendale and the weather is perfect for our health (not to mention a cabin in Sedona that we love visiting). $300,000 is what they are going for around here. I think that seems to be the norm, for a decent house. Goodluck sweetie… oh and any time Jer tells me to make it happen… of course I take full liberties… I am a female after all:). lol. Big hugs sweetie… xoxo Mary

  3. Yeah I think apartment and houses here in CA are like the same in AZ and pretty much the same in NY. Well I’m from NJ and umm let me tell you, the prices of housing here on the West cost is completely ridicoulous to say the least. I was living in a bran new 3 bedroom rancher style home with a full basement and a decent sized yard for under a thousand a month for our mortage….ummm try getting a house or apt here in CA for that. Also the house was like two hundred something ummm here in CA a 300,00 house is most likely a fix me upper and of couse not anything new.
    The pants thing…yeah if you are going to wear pants that show your ass then wear boxers or something to hide the crack esp if it is hairy!

  4. I know very well what you’re talking about. In my life, I’ve lived in 2 different apartments. One was a studio, and was for $485 a month…the year, though, was 1991. I’ve also for 2 yrs. with roommates & we lived in a 3 family house in Floral Park….the rent was 1485, plus utilities. That was ’97-’99. Now I live back at my sisters’ house….hopefully NEVER to leave again!!! The rents around here are KILLER, not to mention our real estate taxes. I don’t live in a mansion by any means (your ordinary hi-ranch), but we’re close to 9K a year!!! I don’t meant to scare you. There are MANY bargains to be had here..I wish you Luck & Success on your quest. May you soon be victorious!

    As for the butt cracks, that’s just nasty….If you want to see a hairy butt, I’m sure you know where to go…& it isn’t Home Depot!!

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