I can’t sleep. I’ll turn to my right side. There. I’m still thinking. Stop thinking,Val. I’ll turn to my left. It’s still here. Stop it. Stop it. Okay. I can do this. Lay still. I won’t think if I lay still. Okay. This is good. This is working. I’m doing great. Crap. There’s a tiny crack in the ceiling. I hope it doesn’t get any bigger. I’ll go to Home Depot tomorrow and buy something to patch it. Home Depot. I don’t have a home of my own anymore. I had a gorgeous home until it happened. How could they? Look what happened. They took it away, those freakin’ liars! It’s mine not yours. Who the hell died and left you in charge? Screw you both. I hate you! I have to toss. I’m pissed. Who the hell do they think they are? I’ll fix them. My eyes are opened. Gee, the wind is blowing outside. I used to love that song. And windy has stormy eyes and dum deedee dum, dum, dum. What are the freakin’ words? What time is it? Let me look. It’s 3 am. Shit! I have to wash my hair in the morning. I’ll use the melon shampoo this time. I wonder if the cantelope is ripe? Oh, no. I’m out of conditioner. I’ll look like a Q-tip. The red tee shirt will go good with my jeans. Partay, Marvin Gaye. I’m doing it again. Stop it! Damn it! I’m still thinking. Get the hell out of my head already. Val, let it go. It happened 4 years ago. Let it go. I can’t do this. I’m getting up. I have to get out of this bed.
How many times has this happened to you? You have a thought and it totally takes over your life. You think it over and over. It occupies you while you work. It occupies you while you drive. It occupies you so much that you are actually reliving something that has happened days ago, weeks ago, or perhaps even years ago. It eats you up slowly. It’s there when you wake up. It’s there and it won’t ever leave you. Never. You’re doomed. It’s over. Your life is over. You’re a failure. You’re a loser. I’m fat. I’m no good. Look at me. Who will love me? No wonder he left me. She’s gorgeous. I’m hideous. I’m nothing. I’ll never be anything. My life is over. I’ll die this way.
Sound familiar?Our thoughts are like a reactive bomb.
Thought ——–>repeat thought ———>same thought ——->belief ———>now etched in stone.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve had these messed up repeated thoughts that consume your life and put you into a horrible state of stagnation. Maybe you’re obsessing about your spouse who has left you for someone else. Maybe your partner is cheating on you and you’ve found out and now you can’t get over it. Maybe a person at your job is causing you grief everyday and you keep rehashing the same scenerio over and over and over, each time with a different outcome. Maybe you despise yourself and keep saying how fat and ugly you are. Doe it matter what you’re saying? Yes it does. Can you stop the vicious cycle of habitual thoughts? Yes you can. Is it difficult? No, it’s not, but it takes some work and commitment. You can do this.
I’m going to be posting a blog on Oprah.com about our thoughts. I would love for you to come by and give me your thoughts. Maybe you have ideas that you can share. For now, you can post here. When I get the blog posted on Oprah.com, I will let you know.
Sharing your ideas is the only tool for helping others. We are here to help each other. Why can’t anyone get this? If you want your life to change, change it. Change it by helping others. Be their source of comfort. We are all the same, and if you have a good idea that helped you, perhaps it can help someone else.
Thoughts. A terrible thing to waste.